(we start off in Green Hill Zone from Sonic 1 with 2d animation)
(Sonic then runs past the camera)
(The camera then follows Sonics’ movements)
(A Red Shell from Mario then comes Sonics’ way)
(Sonic then jumps over this Red Shell)
Sonic: looks like old plumber boy here wants to play rough, fine, we’ll play rough
(Sonic then slows down and goes off screen)
(Sonic then performs the super peel)
(Sonic then passes a signpost that takes him to the mushroom kingdom)
Signpost: the mushroom kingdom
(Sonic then teleports out of sight)
(We then see the Sonic CD time travel transition screen)
(The camera cuts to the mushroom kingdom which is computer generated)
(Sonic then comes out of a portal and into the sky)
(Sonic then falls down in a cool way)
(The camera cuts to a computer generated Mario looking over at the Mushroom Kingdom with pride)
Mario: ah yes, the mushroom kingdom is now in true a-3 dimensions, but the a-clouds are still a-bushy and the a-bushes are still a-cloudy.
(Sonic then ambushes Mario)
(Sonic then jumps and wags his finger while the Sonic 3 Stage complete theme plays)
(Mario gets up seeing stars, shakes his head left and right then gets mad at Sonic)
Mario: YOU AGAIN!?
Sonic: ooooooooooh I’d love to hang but I gotta juice kiiiiiiiiid.
(Sonic then runs off screen)
(Camera then cuts in front of Mario)
Mario: so ya wanna play again a-do ya? (Camera starts panning away from Mario) fine, let’s-a play again! (Mario throws another red shell which speeds towards the camera, but the camera then pans with great speed toward Sonic who is still running)
(Sonic notices the red shell and jumps over it again but this time with a smug look on his face)
(We then cut to Mario who is using a pair of binoculars to watch Sonic)
(Mario gets mad and walks off screen)
(the camera then cuts to a side view of Sonic running fast)
Sonic: oh that Mario, always trying to destroy me and my coolness.
(Sonic then bumps into a warp pipe on account of going too fast)
(Mario then comes out of this warp pipe with a smug look on his face)
(Mario then jumps out of the warp pipe)
Mario: (in a patronising tone) careful a-Sonic, next time it could be a wall of a-spikes
(Mario then shakes his head while folding his arms)
(Sonic then does a spin dash when Mario least expects it)
(The camera cuts to the right where we see Mario slide on screen from the left then Sonic Jumps into position as our two heroes prepare to fight)
(Both heroes then bring out walkie talkies)
Mario: (into the walkie talkie) LUIGI! YOSHI! GET THAT HOG NOW!
Sonic: (Into his walkie talkie) Yo Tails, Knuckles. Lets rock and roll
(Tails, Knuckles, Luigi and Yoshi all show up)
G.F.G. Announcer: FIGHT!
(Mario, Luigi and Yoshi then start fighting Sonic, Tails and Knuckles and we see health bars like in traditional fighting games because Super Smash Bros doesn’t exist yet)
(This goes on for a while until Mario and Sonic get thrown into a portal)
(Tails, Knuckles, Luigi and Yoshi stop fighting for a moment)
Knuckles: hey, what on Angel Island just happened?
Luigi: our two leaders just got thrown into some kind of weird portal
Tails: you think this portal has something to do with all the recent disappearances of Rayman, Bugs Bunny and even Mickey Mouse?
(Everybody then has a think about this)
(Camera cuts to our heroes in the portal)
Sonic/Mario: whoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
(Camera fades to white)
(We see the film’s title)
(Our two heroes then pass the title)
Sonic: (as they’re passing the title) hey fatty, why force the sixty four into the title?
Mario: (in response) because Nintendo 64 is awesome
(Our heroes then go off screen)
(Camera then fades from white and into baby Matilda’s face)
(We hear the narrator snoring)
(The camera then pans up)
(Narrator then wakes up)
Narrator: oh umm, right. I gotta narrate this stupid film again. (Clears his throat) Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Some will grow to… hang on a minute (goes to the beginning of this script then reads the cast list) you’re telling me that Mario and Sonic are in this movie now? (lets out a groan) (he goes back to normal) …be butchers, or bakers, or candle sitck makers (realises what he’s saying, mumbles then goes back to normal) well, one way or another, everyone is different (a nurse take Matilda to Harry wormwood) for better, or for worse.
Harry: (grunt)
(Camera cuts outside the hospital with Harry and Zinnia walking outside carrying baby Matilda)
Narrator: according to these statistics I have, 95% of you parents see your children as the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. The other 5%? Eeeeeeh well not so much.
Harry: that was a waste of time
Zinnia: and painful
Harry: and expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap?
Zinnia: well I had to take a shower harry.
Harry: $5000 dollars! I’m not paying it! What are they gonna do, repossess the kid?
(Harry and Zinnia then put Matilda in the back of their car and drive off but the camera pans to some bushes)
(A portal then spews out Mario and Sonic)
Mario: owch, WATCH YOUR-A LANDING YOU A-MORON!
Sonic: well it looks like someone’s having a bad day, See ya slowpoke
(Sonic speeds off)
Mario: (to the audience) the a-nerve of that-a nocturnal 32 bit-a failure (Mario then gives chase to Sonic)
(Sonic stops just behind the wormwood family car as it drives away from the screen)
Sonic: hey moustache-o, did you see that car? The folks in there are driving off while putting their baby in danger
(Mario comes on screen)
Sonic: oh who am I kidding, you’re too slow (sonic gives chase to the car)
(Mario gets mad at sonic and he gives chase)
(The camera then cuts just behind Sonic as he chases the car)
(Sonic notices Mario chasing him then rolls his eyes and keeps going)
(The camera cuts back to Mario, who realises that he cannot keep up with Sonic so he busts out his Mario Kart)
(The characters then keep chasing the car even when the camera fades to the car pulling into the driveway)
Narrator: the Wormwoods lived in a very nice house, in a very nice neighbourhood, but they… (Pause) you know what, you figure the rest out.
Harry: get outta the street ya little dodos
(Harry, Zinnia and Mike all go into the house then shut the door leaving baby Matilda behind)
(Mario and Sonic then come onto the screen from the left)
Sonic: took you long enough fatso
Mario: when I get-a my hands on you I’ll…
Sonic: Look dummy, that baby’s still in that car
Mario: well then I’LL save the a-baby
Sonic: no, I’LL save the baby; you’ll give the audience the wrong idea
Mario: well you don’t need speed-a to do this so I’LL save the a-baby
Sonic: no, I WILL!
Mario: I WILL!
Sonic: I WILL!
Mario: I WILL!
Sonic: I WILL!
Mario: OK! (Short pause) look, we’re getting-a nowhere just arguing. Why don’t, and I can’t-a believe I’m about to a-say this (takes a deep breath) why don’t (hesitate for a bit) we work-a together
(Sonic ponders about this for a moment then caves in)
Sonic: tell no one or you’re dead
(Mario and Sonic then work together to get baby Matilda out of the car)
(Mario and Sonic then get the baby out the boot)
(Our two heroes then knock on the Wormwood door)
(Harry answers)
Harry: what do you bozos want?
Mario: well sir you accidently left your baby in the back of your car and we were…
Sonic: just take the baby before we call the cops on you
Harry: alright, alright jeez Louise
(Harry takes baby Matilda inside and shuts the door)
Sonic: well that was fun
Mario: really?
Sonic: what? We got the baby back to its family didn’t we?
Mario: yeah but-a you… a-they… grrrrrrrr
Sonic: what do you want us to do, have tea with them?
Mario: you know what, a-yes
Sonic: huh?
(Mario grabs Sonic by the ear then drags him to the door)
Sonic: (as this is happening) ow ow ow ow ow
(Mario knocks on the door)
(harry answers the door)
Harry: you again? What do ya want now a tip?
Mario: actually, my “friend” over here has an apology to make
Harry: what for? You gave the baby back didn’t you?
Sonic: I know right?
Mario: well we were wondering if you’d let us in for tea
(Harry thinks about it)
Harry: oh fine, whatever but make it quick
(Our heroes come in to the house)
Mario: well for a family of British people you are quite a-rude
Zinnia: (from a distance) hey, we’re American you moron
Mario: wait, you’re an American family?
Harry/Mike: yeah, duh
Mario: huh, couldn’t help but get a British-a vibe if you catch my poorly made Sonic Drift
Narrator: the Wormwoods we’re so wrapped up in their own silly lives that they hardly noticed they had a daughter, or even house guests for that matter. In fact, if Mario and sonic never got the baby out of the boot, she’d probably be dead
(We see baby Matilda next to some spilt spinach somehow spelling her name)
Zinnia: oh my gosh Matilda now look what you did
Narrator: I think it should be obvious what the baby’s parents named her at this point given the title of this film.
(Zinnia cleans the spinach off the countertop and picks up baby Matilda)
Zinnia: you’re suppose to eat the spinach, ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
(Zinnia puts Baby Matilda in the sink then turns on the tap for the other sink)
Zinnia: babies, you’re better off raising tomatoes
(Zinnia walks off)
(a few years supposedly fade by and Matilda is now 2 years old yet Mario and Sonic act like it’s only been a couple of seconds)
Narrator: by the time Matilda turned two, she learned what most ordinary folk would have learnt in their early 30s, how to take care of herself, because you know, it’s not like there are laws saying parents have to take care of their children or some ridiculous garbage like that. Anyway, as time went by, she developed a sense of style, (sarcastically) oooh how posh.
(Camera cuts to young Matilda being left home alone)
Narrator: (back to normal) ok back to the story, Matilda’s whole family leaves her home alone for the most part; her father went to sell used cars at totally unreasonable prices
Zinnia: make money (kisses harry as he leaves)
Narrator: her brother Michael went off to school to get an education that won’t guarantee him a job, but you probably knew that already because let’s face it, most of you watching this already saw the original movie anyway.
Mike: bye mom
Zinnia: go on get outta here
(Mike leaves)
Narrator: and her mother, took off to play bingo.
Zinnia: soup’s on the stove heat it up if you get hungry
Narrator: (pauses the film) remember when I said that Matilda was left alone “for the most part?” (film plays)
Zinnia: oh and those nice baby sitters are here
(Camera pans to Mario and Sonic giving a pseudo smile)
Narrator: yeah, it’s these guys
(Zinnia then leaves our 3 protagonists alone and closes the door)
Mario: so, you must be-a Matilda, correct?
Matilda: yes it is, and you are?
Mario: well Its a-me, Mario, and…
Sonic: (interrupting Mario) I’m Sonic the Hedgehog, (Sings) the fastest thing aliiiiieiiive
Matilda: how fast are you Mr. Sonic?
Mario: well he’s not that…
Sonic: watch this kid (Sonic then runs around the entire earth and back in about 3.5 seconds) ta da! Pretty impressive huh?
Mario: (sarcastically) oooooh, you can a-move your little-a legs at-a supersonic-a speeds and occasionally turn into a ball. (non sarcastically) big-a deal.
Sonic: you tryin to say something plumpster?
Mario: no, but I can a-list your millions of a-problems
Sonic: oh yeah, tough guy
(Mario and Sonic start fighting)
Narrator: unfortunately for us, Mario and Sonic were not good baby sitters because they were constantly fighting, so Matilda was pretty much alone all day. And for some strange reason, that was how she liked it. Yeah, from an early age she had very sick kicks.
(We then see Matilda making pancakes for breakfast)
(After that happens we see Matilda reading all the magazines in the house while eating those pancakes)
(Mario and Sonic watched Matilda while being confused about where the pancakes came from)
(Cuts to Matilda reading a magazine while still eating pancakes)
Narrator: by the time she was 4, she’d read every magazine in the house like a gazillion times. One night, (camera fades to the wormwoods watching TV as Matilda, Mario and Sonic go to them) she got up the courage to ask her parents for something she’d desperately wanted. Oh and Mario and Sonic came too I guess.
Harry: a book? What do ya wanna book for?
Young Matilda: to read
Harry: to read?! Why would ya wanna read when you got the television set right in front of ya? There’s nothing you can get from a book that you can’t get from a television faster.
(Mike then shoves Matilda out of the way)
Narrator: I suppose Matilda knew that she was somewhat different from her family, so whatever she wanted in this world, she’d have to get herself, because of course she does. (cuts to the next morning)
Zinnia: there’s fish fingers in the microwave
(Leaves to play bingo)
Narrator: so when her family took off to do the things they do, Matilda set out in search of a book.
(Matilda uses a phonebook to find the address of a Library 10 blocks away)
(Camera cuts to Matilda walking outside)
(Camera cuts back to Mario and Sonic who are looking out the window in both shock and awe)
Mario: hey spike a-brain?
Sonic: what now pistachio nose?
Mario: you think we’re gonna get-a fired for this?
Sonic: yep, and it will all be your fault ape wrangler
Mario: (Angrily) Mmmmmmmmm
(Sonic sticks his tongue out)
Mario: alright, we gotta go get a-Matilda Back
Sonic: why?
Mario: because we’re heroes “buddy.” And if we don’t She’ll be dead
(Sonic thinks about it for a bit)
Sonic: (Caving in) fine, let’s work together, again.
(Mario and Sonic then go out looking for Matilda)
(We then get a montage of Matilda walking to the Library and Mario and Sonic looking for her)
(After the Montage is over we cut to Dr Robotnik in Scrap Brain Zone from Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic 1) on Sega Mega Drive/Genesis)
Robotnik: One day Sonic, I’m going to roboticize the world’s animals, and take over the world (Evil Laugh)
(Bowser then shows up)
Bowser: hey you, Robotnik
Robotnik: What now bowser? Can’t you see I’m monologuing here?
Bowser: did you hear? That mysterious portal has taken Mario and Sonic away against their will
Robotnik: perfect, now the world’s roboticization can begin (more evil laughing)
(Robotnik’s computer then notifies the two villains of Sonics’ location)
Robotnik: well Sonic it looks like I’ve found you now.
Bowser: and by extension, you’ve found Mario too, not that either of them get along very well
Robotnik: now if you’ll excuse me, I have a major call to make
(Robotnik picks up the phone)
Robotnik: hello? You know what to do.
(Bowser and Robotnik then teleport to the world of the movie Matilda)
(Camera fades to Matilda in the library walking down a row of books)
Miss Phelps: you know you can take books home with this library card, would you like that?
Young Matilda: that would be wonderful
(Mario and Sonic then show up from the left)
Sonic: alright let’s go come on kid, we’re outta here
Miss Phelps: hey what’s going on?
Sonic: we’re the kid’s babysitters; we’ve come to take her home good bye
Mario: hey, wait a second. Madam have you been looking after this kid?
Miss Phelps: yep, she’s been going in the library every day for the past few weeks now, look at her
(The camera cuts to Matilda reading a random novel then back to Mario and Sonic)
Sonic: hang on a minute, A FEW WEEKS! Dang, guess that’s all those quick sunrises and sunsets explained.
Miss Phelps: I was just about to give Matilda a library card so that she won’t have to walk here every day.
Mario: ok then, please continue
Miss Phelps: thank you. (Gives Matilda a Library card)
(Camera time jumps to Matilda dragging books behind her with a red child’s wagon with Mario and Sonic following close behind glaring at each other)
Narrator: and so Matilda’s strong mind continued to grow, thanks to all those books that those pesky authors sent into the pesky world, like dumb ships, onto the stupid sea.
(Camera cuts to our heroes walking toward the audience)
(Camera fades to the exact same shot except Matilda is older)
| Mario’s more patient than Sonic |
(Camera time jumps to Matilda under a tree reading while Mario and Sonic wait for her to finish)
(While waiting Mario notices a mysterious Pig’s ear)
Mario: hey, ring thief?
Sonic: what now knight in smelly overalls can’t you
See I wanna go home and totally destroy you?
Mario: does that ear belong to one of those mutated freaks you hang out with?
Sonic: what do you mean mutated fre- (Sonic notices these ears) no way man, but that’s obviously 2D animated yet somethings… off here. Almost as if Porker Lewis got redesigned in the future and then went back in time to warn himself about it
(The ear then leaves the scene)
Mario: huh, weird. You thinks it’s in the ink and paint?
Sonic: ok everyone, let’s go home
(The camera then time jumps to Matilda reading some more in her room with Mario and Sonic)
(Harry Wormwood comes into the room)
Harry: any packages come today?
Matilda: (shakes her head)
Harry: where’d all this come from?
Matilda: the library
Harry: the library? You’ve never set foot in a library you’re only 4
Matilda: 6 and a half
Harry: you’re 4
Matilda: 6 and a half
Harry: if you were 6 and a half you’d be in school already
Matilda: I want to be in school, I told you I was suppose to start school in September, you wouldn’t listen
Harry: oh really? And on an unrelated note, what are the babysitters still doing here?
Sonic: well you’re the one that told us to stay with Matilda at literally all times to the point where it becomes creepy if you really think about it out of context, Mr. Wormtool.
Mario: oh, and before you take Matilda out can we please tell her something real quick?
Harry: well I’m sorry but you gotta wait because I’m her father you morons and you’re just foolish babysitters
Sonic: (grumbles) or just free labour if you really wanna tell the truth
Harry: we’ll be back, (to Matilda) now get up
(Harry takes Matilda out of her room by the ear)
Harry: and gimme that book
(Harry takes the book and tosses across the floor and takes Matilda to her parents room where we see Zinnia wormwood doing her hair)
Harry: dearest pie, how old is Matilda?
Zinnia: 4
Matilda: I’m 6 and a half mommy
Zinnia: 5 them
(Mario and Sonic then come into the room)
Sonic: so what are you slow coaches arguing about this time?
Harry: how old Matilda is, now will you two weird looking bozos leave us alone?!
Mario: oh well, ok then
(Mario leaves the room)
Harry: well? Go on spikes for brains, beat it.
Sonic: so let me get this straight, you don’t even know what age your daughter is? How pathetic
Zinnia: well excuse me Mr. But we’re just very busy that’s all
Sonic: well I’m just trying to look out for your daughter, you know, the one that YOU’RE supposed to be raising in the first place! you incompetent fools
Harry/Zinnia: LEAVE! NOW!
Sonic: fine, but take my advice, and actually raise your daughter
(Sonic leaves the room)
(Harry and Zinnia go back to tending to their hair)
Matilda: well, mommy, daddy. I wanna go to school
(Zinnia laughs)
Harry: school, its outta the question, who would be here to sign for the packages? We can’t leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep. Now go watch TV like a good kid
(A sad Matilda leaves the room)
Zinnia: you know something harry?
Harry: what?
Zinnia: I think there’s something wrong with that girl
Harry: tell me about it
(Camera cuts to Matilda picking up her book then going to her room)
Mike: (while this is happening) hey dip face, (starts throwing marshmallows at Matilda) have a marshmallow, have another marshmallow dip face. Dip face!
(Matilda closes the door)
(Camera cuts to a page of some book as Matilda’s teardrops fall onto the page)
(Camera cuts to a Matilda’s face)
Narrator: Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, someone like the kind, courageous people in her books. Oh and Mario and Sonic too I guess. But it occurred to her that kind of like talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb, that such people might exist only in story books
(Mario and Sonic then glare at the narrator)
Narrator: what? It’s true
Mario: Mr Narrator, can we talk?
Narrator: well sure, why not.
Mario: ok, Sonic, you-a stay here and a-comfort Matilda, but don’t-a get any cocky ideas
(Mario then takes the camera outside the house then props it down)
Narrator: so what did you wanna talk about? And how are you hearing me right now?
Mario: ok what I want to talk about is what you just said earlier
Narrator: what the whole such people might only exist in storybooks thing?
Mario: yeah, that whole “Such people might exist only in storybooks” thing
Narrator: what’s wrong with it?
Mario: well you see Mr. Narrator sir; we’re all a-fictional characters currently in a movie and we as a-characters come from a diverse range of a-mediums such as video games, movies, TV shows and STORYBOOKS!
Narrator: well jeez, no need to get angry, also what do you mean we’re all fictional characters? Does that mean my job as a narrator is meaningless?
Mario: no actually.
Narrator: what? Why not?
Mario: say the craziest thing you can think of right now
Narrator: why
Mario: just-a do it
Narrator: ok then (thinks about it for a moment) and then Superman decided it would be a good idea to dress in drag and do the hula
(Superman then comes on the screen dressed in drag and doing the hula for a bit then he leaves questioning what he just did)
Narrator: wow that’s amazing
Mario: well now that that’s been taken care of, I think now’s a good time to tell Matilda the truth about reality
(Mario then goes back inside the house and shuts the door)
Narrator: (does a little chuckle) lights, camera, action. Well, anyway Matilda would soon be told the truth about her reality, after that she discovered that she could be her own friend despite having Mario and Sonic at all times. (It then time jumps to the next day with Harry going into the house with a smile on his face) and that she had a kind of strength she wasn’t even aware of
(Camera cuts to the interior of the house)
(Harry comes in and closes the door with a smile on his face)
Harry: I’m great, I’m incredible
(Zinnia Wormwood then goes toward Harry)
Zinnia: did we sell some cars today honeydew?
Harry: did we
(The two then do a little kiss)
Zinnia: so can we get that new TV?
Harry: yeah. Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen right now
(Michael does what his father just said)
(Camera then pans over to the table as we see Michael sitting down)
(The Camera Pans to a shot where we see Mario, Sonic and Matilda all reading)
Harry: son, one of these days you’re gonna have to earn your own living, it’s time for you to learn our family business now write the numbers I’m gonna say down. The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320, I was able to sell it for $1158. The second old car cost $512, I sold it for $2269
Mike: wait dad, you’re going too fast
(Sonic then looks at Mike with a cross face)
Sonic: (in a weirdly cool way) there’s no such thing as too fast.
Harry: (to Sonic) stay outta this you! (to Mike) Anyway, the third car I sold cost me a mere $68, I sold it for $999. The fourth and final car cost me $1100, I sold it for $7839, Big fi- AMERICAN bafoos!
Zinnia: (excitedly) oh harry
Harry: what was my profit for the day?
Mike: could you repeat the last one?
(Camera focuses on our heroes)
Matilda: $10,265
(Everyone looks at Matilda in a weird way)
Sonic: lucky guess maybe?
Matilda: check it if you don’t believe me
(Harry checks the paper)
Harry: you’re a little cheat, you saw the paper
Matilda/Mario: from all the way over here?
Harry: ok, stop right there. (Harry goes over to our heroes) Matilda are you being smart with me? Because if you’re being smart with me young lady you’re gonna be punished
Matilda: punished for being smart?
Harry: for bein a smart aleck.
Sonic: hey man what’s wrong with being a smarty pants?
Harry: (to Sonic) shut your trap you, you’re not even part of the family. (To Matilda) Anyway, when a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson
Matilda: Person?
Harry: thats it! (Grabs Matilda by the ear and drags her to her room) get up, get up
(Mario and Sonic look at each other in confusion then anger at one another)
Narrator: and so harry wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first piece of practical advice that she could use. What he meant to say was “when a child is bad” but what he really said is “when a person is bad,” (camera time fades to Matilda in bed) thus introducing the revolutionary idea that children could punish their parents.
(Camera time jumps to the next morning where we see Matilda, Mario and Sonic just outside her mother and father’s room where we see the parents sleeping)
Narrator: well, only if they deserved it of course
Mario: (whispering) hey Matilda, are you sure this is a good idea?
Sonic: (to Mario) (whispering) c’mon maaaan, her parents are jerks anyway, let the kid have a little fun
Mario: (to Sonic) (still whispering) ok fine, let’s a-go
Matilda: (whispering) ok, remember the plan.
(Our heroes then sneak into the bathroom undetected)
(Matilda then puts a little bit of blonde dye into Harry’s hair oil)
Sonic: (whispering) yo buttnose, pass me one of those bombs of yours
Mario/Matilda: (Whispering) No
Matilda: (whispering) we don’t wanna blow up the whole room and kill him
Sonic: (Whispering) oh fine, but I’m mixing in this super burning chemical
(Sonic then mixes in the Chemical)
(The alarm clock then goes off)
(Harry then gets up)
(Matilda and the others sneak off and hide in a closet)
Harry: (tired and unclear) ooooooooh maaaaaan, gotta go… (grumble) struction of the univer, whoa.
(Harry walks right past them)
Mario: (whispering) “struction of the univer?”
Sonic: (whispering to Mario) you must be hearing things, now come on, let’s go
(our heroes go out of hiding then sneak closer to the door)
(Zinnia wormwood wakes up which makes our heroes freeze but turns out she’s wearing an eye mask which is a relief)
(Our heroes then get out of the room however at the last possible second Sonic does a little revv which makes Harry and Zinnia wide awake)
Harry: what was that?
Zinnia: I dunno.
(Harry and Zinnia both shrug it off)
Harry: MICHAEL!
(Mike comes into the room)
Mike: what?
Harry: Michael, today’s the day I take you to the shop, what do ya say?
Mike: I dunno, what do you say dad?
Harry: I’d say appearance is 9 tenths of the law, which is why I personally take such pride in my appearance. Well oiled hair, snappy suit. Now run along and get ready for a big day of learning. (Harry then uses his hair oil) its gonna be a big day of sales too. There’s a sucker born every minute, we’re gonna take em for all they got
(Camera zooms in on the hair oil)
(Camera then time jumps to breakfast time as Matilda is getting her waffles out of the toaster)
Mike: gimme the cookies
Zinnia: oh fine here you go (gives him the cookies)
(Camera pans as Matilda goes to sit with Mario and Sonic)
(Camera then cuts to the hallway where we see Harry Wormwood coming out with pride)
Harry: (Singing) do, do, do, do (not singing) well my boy, today’s the day you learn how to diddle the customer
(Mike looks at harry in a weird way and drops a cookie)
Harry: what’s the matter with you? Lovekins, where’s my breakfast?
Zinnia: here we are my heart strings, AAAAAAAAH! (gets so shocked she ends up dropping everything) snocker doodle, what did you do to your hair?!
Harry: my hair?
(Harry then goes to a mirror and realises that his hair is now blonde)
(The burning Chemical kicks in)
Harry: (in part due to the chemical and his reaction to being blonde) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Faints onto the floor)
(Camera cuts to our 3 heroes trying not to laugh)
Harry: WHY DOES MY HAIR FEEL LIKE ITS ON FIRE!
(Camera then cuts to the outside where we see Harry, Mike and Matilda loading their car with stolen car parts while Mario is in the car but Sonic is standing their getting ready to run)
(Matilda walks off with her box of car parts)
Harry: hey, where you goin with those, gimme that box right now young lady
(Matilda then gives Harry the box back)
(Camera then acts like its taking a bunch of suspicious pictures)
Narrator: dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts. Don’t stay secret for very long. Especially when the FBO get involved. (Takes note of the “FBO” thing). Hang on, FBO? Must be a spelling mistake.
(Camera cuts to peewee Herman as an FBO agent taking pictures in his car with another FBO Agent plus the Pig from Earlier)
Peewee: (into the walkie talkie) 9:17, suspect exits domicile.
Other FBO Agent: really? I’ve got 9:18
Peewee: (into the walkie talkie) 9:17 is correct
FBO Pig: and look there, that hedgehog and other guy seem like personal bodyguards for our little suspect over there.
Peewee: you know, that pig looks out of place here
Other FBO Agent: yeah, he’s as out of place as you are peewee
(Camera then does a transition to an establishing shot of the outside of Wormwood Motors)
(Camera then cuts to the interior of the car part room of Wormwood motors)
Harry: my boy, one day all this will be yours
Mike: this?
(Camera cuts to another shot inside Wormwood Motors this time showing all the car parts scattered across the place)
Sonic: this place looks like a dump
Mario: (Teeth stuck together) Sonic, don’t insult people’s a-businesses now.
Harry: you see this junker?
(Camera then goes to the old car)
(Harry then walks on screen to the right)
Harry: paid $100 dollars for her, transmission shot, she’s gone more than 65,000 miles and the bumpers have fallen off. What do I do with her?
(Harry then writes $100,000 on the windshield)
Harry: I sell her. “But dad” I hear you asking, “How does one sell a car that’s in such a sorry looking state?” well let me show ya.
(Harry then gets some super super glue then starts applying it to a bumper)
Harry: we really should weld these bumpers on, but that takes time, equipment and money. So we use super super glue instead.
(Camera then time jumps to Mike and Matilda putting the bumper on)
Harry: go ahead, put it on there
(Mike and Matilda re-attach the bumper)
Mike: won’t it fall off?
Harry: definitely (gives the bumper a good kick)
Matilda: isn’t that dangerous
Harry: not to me, now let’s move on to the transmission
(Harry goes to get the sawdust and Mike follows, thus leaving Matilda alone)
(Mario and Sonic then come on the screen from the left)
Mario: ok, so your fathers a bit of a cheapskate when it comes to a-used cars, maybe he’s a nice-a guy on the-a inside?
(Sonic then sneakily elbows the bumper which causes it to fall on Mario’s foot)
Mario: YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOW! MAMAMIA!
(Mario then grabs his foot and hops off screen)
Sonic: man that plumbers gullible (he and Matilda chuckle)
(Mario then comes back on screen)
Mario: well played you cocky Needlemouse. Now all we have to do is put the stupid bumper back on!
(Mario then puts the stupid bumper back on when Mike and Harry come back with a barrel of sawdust)
(Harry then starts putting the sawdust into the engine in handfuls)
Harry: the sawdust quietens the gears, and makes the engine run as sweet as a nut, for a couple of miles. (Evil chuckle)
Matilda: daddy that’s cheating
Harry: of course it’s cheating, nobody ever got rich being honest (chuckles some more)
(Camera Time cuts to Harry underneath the car)
Harry: (to Mike) twenty years ago, we could turn the numbers back by hand, but… oop, here take my hat. (Harry gives Mike his Hat while he goes under the car) But the Feds, like to test the ingenuity of the American business man.
(Camera time cuts to Mike and Harry with Harry holding a two directional drill)
Harry: two directional drill, you run it backwards, the numbers go down. Here, watch the speedometer.
(Harry runs the drill backwards, and the mileage goes down)
Mike: cool
Harry: i know right?
(Camera cuts to Matilda, Mario and Sonic all going behind Harry)
Matilda: daddy you’re a crook
(Harry stops drilling and turns around)
Harry: excuse me?
Matilda: this is illegal
Sonic: while it’s not as bad as Dr Robotnik turning animals into robots, or the outdated plumber’s outdated princess being kidnapped by an outdated villain, she’s right
Mario: (grumbles at Sonic)
Harry: here mike, keep drilling
(Mike keeps drilling)
(Harry then advances toward Matilda)
Harry: do you make money? Do you have a Job?
Matilda: no, but don’t people need good cars? Can’t you sell good cars dad?
Harry: listen here you three! I’m big you’re little, I’m smart you’re dumb, I’m right you’re wrong! And there’s nothing any of you buckos can do about it! (Grumbles as he goes back to Mike Wormwood)
(Camera cuts to a shot where we see our three heroes looking at Harry’s hat)
Mario: Matilda, you’re not really thinking about a-gluing his hat to his-a head, are you?
Sonic: relax man, (to Matilda) go ahead kid, give that old timer what he deserves.
(We hear a horn honk as the camera cuts to Zinnia in her car with a butt ton of money)
Zinnia: (Excitedly) HARRY! I WON! I WON THE DOUBLE BINGO, YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH! Come on everybody I’m taking you all to Cafe Le Ritz!
(Everybody goes to get in the car)
Harry: let me see the money
Zinnia: never mind
Harry: double bingo hey? ooooh
(Matilda shows up with Harry’s hat in hand)
Matilda: here’s your hat daddy.
(Harry snatches the hat and puts it on his head without giving it a second thought)
Harry: get in the car
(Matilda and Mario get in the car)
Sonic: no thanks, I’ll meet you guys there
(Harry goes to grab Sonic but Sonic quickly darts to the left)
Sonic: mmmmmm, you’ll have to be faster than that if ya wanna catch this radical hedgehog my slow bro.
(Sonic then puts his finger on Harry’s lips, wiggles the finger up and down, does an impression of the Road Runner, then speeds off screen to the bottom right)
Harry: GRRRRR. (calms down) Forget him, he’ll get lost
(Harry gets in the car next to Zinnia)
Harry: how much did ya win?
Zinnia: it’s for me to know and for you to find out
Harry: oh fine
(Zinnia drives off but we get a shot of the super super glue with the lid off, this is also where we get to see Robotnik and Bowser stopping by Wormwood Motors)
Robotnik: soon Sonic, soon we will destroy you. (Evil chuckle)
(camera fades to the Wormwoods parked outside Cafe Le Ritz)
Mario: where’s the blue bore? (Raises his hopes) is he gone?
(Sonic then speeds onto the screen from the left)
Sonic: hey guys, what took you so long?
(Mario’s hopes then die)
(The Wormwoods and Mario then get out of the car and start walking towards the building)
Zinnia: oh it’s nice to go out sometimes
Harry: yeah
Zinnia: you never take us out
Harry: yeah I do, I took ya to the Flipper
Zinnia: I don’t remember any of the Flipper
Harry: you know, the fish joint where you found that comb
Zinnia: oh yeah I liked that joint
(Camera time jumps to the Wormwoods, Mario and Sonic inside Cafe Le Ritz however our three heroes are in the foreground)
Waiter: bonjour, right this way please
(Camera pans as everyone is walking to a table)
Zinnia: harry take your hat off
(Harry tries but can’t)
Harry: I can’t
Zinnia: this is a nice place you can’t wear a hat inside.
Harry: I can’t take it off
Sonic: please, we all know your hair isn’t as bad as Mario’s
(everyone stops at the table)
Zinnia: harry nobody cares what your hair looks like
(Zinnia tries to take the hat off but can’t)
Zinnia: what’s with this hat?
Harry: I still can’t take off, the fibres have fused to the skin
Zinnia: Fibres are fused? What is that suppose to mean
(Zinnia then rips part of the hat off but she and Harry fall backwards in the process)
(Zinnia then tumbles into the dessert tray thus sending the desserts flying)
(One dessert lands on Mike then goes all over him but another lands in front of Matilda where it somehow remains in one piece)
(A fork even lands in Matilda’s dessert)
(Matilda then starts eating the dessert)
(Camera pans slightly to the left where we see Mario talking to the waiter)
Mario: so you’re telling-a me that you don’t do spaghetti and a-meatballs?
Waiter: no way, this is a French restaurant you idiot!
Sonic: what about chilli dogs?
(The waiter holds a sign saying no)
(Sonic then puts on a bored face)
Mario: well at least Matilda’s enjoying herself right?
Matilda: yes, this pudding is splendid
(Camera then does a wipe transition to everyone back in the house)
(Zinnia is cutting Harry’s hair trying to get the hat off)
Zinnia: I still don’t see how you glued your hat on harry
Harry: I did not glue my hat to my head
Zinnia: I know you say you didn’t but obviously you did
Harry: no I did not, the hat shrunk, the fibres have fused to my hair!
(Camera cuts to Matilda reading while Mario is looking over some notes he made and Sonic is just waiting for something exciting to happen)
(Camera then cuts back to Zinnia finally pulling Harry’s hat off, and some of his hair with it)
(Everyone except Harry laughs at the bald spot)
Harry: I WILL NOT BE THE FIGURE OF RIDICULE! FROM NOW ON THIS FAMILY WILL DO EXACTLY WHAT I SAY, WHEN EXACTLY WHEN I SAY IT!
Sonic: ooooh, looks like someone forgot to take Basic English classes
Zinnia: here’s your hat harry
(Harry just snatches the hat and throws it on the ground)
Harry: and right now, we are eating dinner, and watching TV.
(Harry then turns on the TV and turns some of the lights off)
Harry: (to mike) shut your light off
(mike does so)
Show host: are you ready to get sticky with Mickey
(Crowd cheers)
(A show producer hands over an envelope)
(Show host opens it and gets shocked)
(Show host then rattles on about the rules of the game show)
(Harry notices that Matilda is reading and gets annoyed)
(Harry goes over to Matilda)
Matilda: hi dad
Harry: hello? Are you in this family?
Matilda: uuuuuuuum.
Harry: HELLO?! ARE YOU IN THIS FAMILY?!
(Harry turns Matilda’s light off)
Harry: DINNER TIME IS FAMILY TIME, WHAT IS THIS TRASH YOU’RE READING?!
Matilda: it’s not trash daddy it’s lovely, it’s called Moby Dick by Hermann Merville
Harry: MOBY WHAT!?
(Harry takes the book and starts ripping it)
Harry: (as he’s ripping the book) THIS, IS FILTH, TRASH, GARBAGE!
Matilda: it’s not mine, it’s a library book
(Harry throws the ripped up book on the floor)
Harry: I’M FED UP WITH ALL THIS READING! (To Mario and Sonic) STUPID AND MORON, BACK ME UP ON THIS!
Mario/Sonic: no!
Harry: OH WELL, I DON’T NEED BACK UP! BECAUSE i’M ALWAYS RIGHT!
Sonic: well well Mr Stinky overalls I don’t know how this is even possible but it looks like your ego has been matched
Mario: WHY YOU LITTLE! (Mario and Sonic Start fighting)
Harry: ALRIGHT MATILDA, SIT UP! AND LOOK AT THE TV!
(Harry forces Matilda to look at the TV)
TV show host: congratulations my good sir now you get to step into our cash cube, our producers are not liable for any skin irritation from playing our game.
(Gets a Letter from Disney, reads it for a bit then goes back to the show)
T.V show host: our new corporate overlords however, are totally liable
(The family then laughs at the TV while some guy goes to grab that cash)
(Matilda then gets angrier and angrier until the TV explodes)
(Everyone stops what they are doing and gather around to look at the TV)
Sonic: whoa dude, that was way past uncool
Zinnia: I told you that was a cheap set
Harry: this isn’t a cheap set it’s a stolen set
(Mario and Sonic then end up letting their jaw drop in shock)
Mike: bummer
Narrator: was it magic? Or mere coincidence? She had no Idea. It is said that you humans only use a tiny portion of your brains, is that true, or am I being lied to? Well Matilda would probably never have any idea why it happened, had what happened the next day never happened at all
(Camera fades to Miss Trunchbull and Harry Wormwood at Wormwood Motors except they’re silhouettes)
Trunchbull: right you, I need a car, inexpensive but reliable can you service me?
Harry: in a manner of speaking yes, I’m Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever.
(Miss Trunchbull shakes Harry’s hand)
Trunchbull: Agatha Trunchbull, Principal of Crunchem Hall Elementary School
Robotnik: well, you must be Harry wormwood, correct?
(Camera cuts to a different angle where we can see the characters clearly)
Harry: and who are you?
(Camera cuts to Robotnik and Bowser stepping out of the shadows)
Robotnik: I am Dr Robotnik, the greatest scientific genius of all time and the villain of the Sonic the Hedgehog line of games
Bowser: the name’s bowser, king of the koopas and the villain of the Super Mario line of games
Trunchbull: well you two certainly look intimidating, I guess I can take you two on board
Harry: well are you two lookin for a good car?
Robotnik: no need, we came here using our own vehicles
Harry: oh, ok
Robotnik: since we’re all together (to Harry) have you guys seen these two around here recently?
(Robotnik shows Harry and Trunchbull a newspaper article with a picture of Mario and Sonic)
Harry: those are my daughter Matilda’s babysitters
Robotnik: well then, why don’t we make a deal
Trunchbull: what do you propose?
Robotnik: you take on this “Matilda” as a student in your school, Harry gives you a good car whenever you need it and forces the babysitters to go to school with Matilda so that we can defeat Mario and Sonic and then we can all rule the world and eventually the universe.
Harry: you’ve got yourselves a deal, if ya ever need another car just gimme a call
(Harry gives Miss Trunchbull the keys to one of the cars)
(Camera time jumps to Miss Trunchbull in this car)
(Trunchbull then honks the horn)
Trunchbull: HEY, FATSO, TURTLE BREATH, GET IN!
Robotnik: (to Harry) gotta go
(Bowser and Robotnik then jump in the car with Miss Trunchbull and the trio drive off)
(Camera then time jumps to Matilda’s room during the night where we see Matilda, Mario and Sonic reading another book)
(Harry then comes into Matilda’s room)
Harry: (to Matilda) Matilda, you’re going to school first thing in the morning
Matilda: (in excitement) I am?!
(Matilda hugs Harry)
Mario: see, I told you it would all work out in the end
Harry: and guess what
Matilda: what?
Harry: the babysitters get to go with you
Mario/Sonic: WHAT?!
Mario: but, but, but we’ll both look more out of place than we already are, I have a moustache, and Sonic acts like a “hip” teenager. Plus-a me and-a Sonic just want to go home and get back to a-destroying each other.
Harry: just go with Matilda and err, make sure she stays outta trouble
(Harry then gets out of Matilda’s room)
(Mario and Sonic both share an angry glance at each other)
(Camera time jumps to the next morning where we see Matilda combing her hair ready for school)
Narrator: Matilda had always wanted to go to school because she loved to learn, and Mario and Sonic were forced to tag along despite the obvious age gaps. Matilda pictured a lovely building, surrounded by flowers and swings
(Camera time fades to our three heroes getting out to go to Crunchem Hall Elementary school)
(Camera cuts to an establishing shot of the school)
Narrator: well there was a building, and children
(Matilda smiles and goes into the school with Mario and Sonic dragging themselves behind)
Narrator: so regardless of what Crunchem hall looked like, she was happy to be there. Because any school is better than no school at all. Right? Right? RIGHT!?
(Camera cuts to the door being opened by an intimidating Miss Trunchbull)
(Everyone stops what they’re doing and looks at the Trunchbull)
Trunchbull: right you morons, listen up. We have a new science teacher starting today, (looks inside) YOU, GET OUT HERE, NOW!
(Dr Robotnik comes out of the school except he’s dressed like a Teacher)
(Camera cuts to Sonic, Mario and Matilda)
Sonic: ROBOTNIK!
(Camera then cuts to Robotnik)
Robotnik: Who’s Robo T. nick? I’m Dr errm, Ovi Kintobor, yeah. In fact let’s change the name in the script
(Camera cuts to the Script for this movie where we see the Name “Dr Ivo Robotnik” get switched out to “Dr Ovi Kintobor” by Robotnik himself)
(Camera cuts back to a confused Mario and Sonic)
Sonic: we’re just gonna go now
(As Matilda runs to hide in a corner of a wall Mario and Sonic run off to join her)
(Camera cuts to our heroes in the crack of the wall)
(Lavender then shows up within the crack)
Lavender: hey
Matilda: sorry
Lavender: that’s ok, it’s much better than being out there
Mario: ya sure kid? Maybe she’s just-a acting, you never know.
Trunchbull: (from a distance) YOU’RE TOO SMALL, GROW UP QUICKER!
Sonic: “just acting,” eh pipes for brains?
Mario: oh shut up you.
(Hortensia and Oswald show up outside the crack)
Hortensia: you squirts better skedaddle; the Trunchbull likes to snap a whip in there to see who’s trying to hide
(Our 4 heroes then leave the crack)
Matilda: so is that my teacher?
Lavender: nope, she’s the principal of this school, her name’s Miss Trunchbull
Matilda: you gotta be kidding
Hortensia: nope, she ain’t kiddin ya
Lavender: by the way, I’m Lavender
Matilda: I’m Matilda
Mario: well Lavender, It’s a-me, Mario
Sonic: I’m Sonic, and I’m the fastest thing alive.
Hortensia: I’m Hortensia
Oswald: name’s Oswald gang
Matilda/Lavender: hi
Hortensia: well now we all know each other, welcome aboard.
???: you forgot me
(A fist then comes flying out of the crack and hits Robotnik then goes back in)
Robotnik: Hey! Who did that?
???: that would be me
(Camera cuts to Rayman coming out of the crack with a smug look on his face)
Rayman: sup peeps, I’m the amazing Rayman.
Trunchbull: what’s going on here? Where are your arms and legs?
Rayman: don’t need em fool
Trunchbull: well then? GET OVER HERE!
(Rayman then walks over to Miss Trunchbull with a sense of over confidence)
Trunchbull: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT RIGHT NOW YOU FREAK SHOW CLOWN!
Rayman: so you brought me up here just to tell me to go away? Low blow, alright I’m gonna go stand next to that girl with the pigtails over there
(Rayman goes and stands by Amanda Thripp)
Trunchbull: Pigtails? (smells the air) aaaahh, fresh meat.
(Goes over to Amanda and Rayman)
Trunchbull: Amanda Thripp, and the other guy
Amanda: yes Miss Trunchbull?
Trunchbull: what are those?
Amanda: what’s what miss Trunchbull
Rayman: yeah dude, c’mon give us the deets.
Trunchbull: duh, those stupid little things hanging down by your ears
Amanda: you mean my… pigtails?
Trunchbull: are you a pig, Amanda?
Amanda: no Miss Trunchbull
Trunchbull: do I allow pigs in my school?
Amanda: well, my mommy thinks they’re sweet
(Miss Trunchbull leans towards Amanda)
Trunchbull: (whispering) your mommy, (yelling) IS A TWIT! (Somewhat normal voice) you’ll chop those off before school tomorrow or-
Amanda: but…
Trunchbull: BUT! (Whispering) did you say but!?
Rayman: (in a sassy way) so what if she said but, it’s not like it’s the end of the world
Trunchbull: ooooh looks like its doubles today
(Camera cuts back to our heroes)
Hortensia: (whispering) whelp, they’re doomed
Mario: (whispering) oh I’m sure at least Rayman can defend himself
(Camera cuts back to Miss Trunchbull who proceeds to grab both Amanda and Rayman by the Hair)
Rayman: (worried) umm, you might wanna let go of that ma’am I… (The Trunchbull proceeds to spin them both around)
(Camera cuts back to our heroes who are watching in awe and fear)
(Camera cuts back to Rayman and Amanda being spun a whole lotta times)
Rayman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
(Miss Trunchbull then releases Amanda and Rayman and they go flying)
Amanda/Rayman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
(Camera cuts to our heroes looking at Rayman and Amanda from left to right)
(Camera cuts back to Rayman then deciding to use his hair to slow down his descent while Amanda ends up going over the fence and then sliding for a while on the grass then she catches some flowers and stops sliding)
(Everyone except the Trunchbull and Robotnik cheer at Amanda)
Trunchbull: SHUT UP, NOW GET INSIDE!
(Everyone starts going inside)
Matilda: Lavender, what’s my teacher like?
(Camera time cuts to everyone still going inside)
Trunchbull: FASTER, FASTER
Robotnik: HURRY UP AND GET INSIDE YOU MISERABLE LOT!
(Camera then time jumps to Miss Honey’s classroom where we see her putting Amanda’s hair into a straight style)
Narrator: Miss Honey on the other hand is one of those remarkable people who can appreciate every child for who he, or she is.
Amanda: I scooped these up for you Miss Honey
(Gives the flowers to Miss Honey)
Miss Honey: oh why thank you Amanda
(Camera zooms out to show the rest of the class)
Miss Honey: all right everyone we have a new student with us, this is Matilda Wormwood. Now you all remember how scary your first days of school were so I’d like you to be especially nice to Matilda. Lavender could you get her work book for her?
(Everyone except Mario, Sonic and Rayman sit down and Lavender gets Matilda’s work book for her)
Sonic: so what about Me, Ape wiper and Rayman?
Miss Honey: I’m sorry, I must be seeing things, who are you?
Sonic: ok, first off, Hi My name is Sonic, and second of all, that’s not how you react to talking animals and floating limbs, this is how you react to talking animals and floating limbs (drops a heavy book on Mario’s foot before he can react)
Mario: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
Sonic: (chuckles) gets me every time
Miss Honey: ok then well, I’m just teaching my class at the moment so could you uh
Mario: oh right, come on guys let’s-a go.
(Mario, Sonic and Rayman leave Miss Honey’s room)
Mario: you guys wanna explore the school?
Sonic: maybe we can find a portal so that we can make like trees and leaf this place. (Sonic winks at the audience while Mario stares at Sonic angrily)
Rayman: who knows? We might even run into our enemies.
Mario: that’s impossible; they’ll have taken over our-a worlds by the time we get home
Sonic: yeah, it’s not like we just saw Robotnik moments ago or anything
(Our 3 heroes then stop outside of Miss Trunchbull’s office where they end up hearing the voices of their enemies)
(Camera then pans through the wall and into Miss Trunchbull’s office)
Robotnik: so, when do we crush those pesky fools?
Miss Trunchbull: be patient now Robotnik, they have no idea why they’re even here, if you reveal yourself too soon, it could spell doom for your little plot
Bowser: she’s right dude, you try to destroy Sonic now, everyone will know and we’ll be done in
Oswald: This is why we’re lucky to have the power of Mr W. on our side to help us
(Camera cuts back to our heroes)
Rayman: so it looks like your enemies seem to know something that we don’t
Sonic: yes but why are they teaming up to take over the universe? And what do you think they’ve got something to do with all the recent disappearances?
Rayman: who knows, but we gotta warn the others about this
(The three heroes then return to miss honey’s classroom)
(Camera cuts back to Miss Honey’s room)
Miss Honey: soon you’ll be able to do any multiplication whether it is 2 times 9…
Class: 18
Miss Honey: or 2 times 6…
Class: 12
Miss Honey: or even 13 times 379
(everyone except Miss Honey and Matilda chuckle)
Matilda: 4927
(Everyone stops chuckling in awe)
Miss Honey: I beg your pardon
Matilda: I think that’s the answer, 13 times 379, is 4927
(Miss Honey puts on her glasses, works it out and looks back at Matilda)
Miss Honey: it is
(Mario, Sonic and Rayman then show up)
Sonic: HEY MATILDA! WE JUST FOUND OUR NEMESIES PLOTTING SOMETHING EVIL!
Miss Honey: hold on, you guys know her?
Sonic: yeah, we’re like her free labour “babysitters”
Miss Honey: hold on mr, umm Sonic we have to find out how Matilda got this multiplication sum
Sonic: what multiplication sum?
Miss Honey: this one right here
(Sonic looks at this sum and his jaw drops)
Miss Honey: Now if you’ll excuse me for a moment class
(Miss Honey leaves to go to the Trunchbull’s office)
Mario: WAIT A MINUTE, OH NO
(Mario then rushes off to follow Miss Honey)
Rayman: whelp, gotta go kids. We’ve got a potential evil conspiracy to uncover, bye
(Sonic and Rayman rush off to join Mario)
(Camera cuts to just outside Miss Trunchbull’s office)
(Miss Honey knocks on the door)
Trunchbull: come in come in whoever you are
(Camera cuts to the inside of the Trunchbull’s office)
(Miss Honey opens the door)
(Dart nearly hits Miss Honey)
Trunchbull: almost got you
(Robotnik chuckles)
Trunchbull: good to see you Jen very good indeed
Robotnik: so what’s the problem madam?
Miss: honey: oh no sir there is no problem, who are you anyway
Robotnik: I’m errr, Dr Ovi Kintobor madam, just got hired as the new science teacher. And you are?
Miss Honey: well my name is Jennifer Honey my good sir, I teach the bottom class
Trunchbull: well Jenny, what do you want?
Miss Honey: oh right, It’s about the new girl in my class, Matilda Wormwood
Robotnik: she’s in the class with the crazy blue spike man right?
Miss Honey: well yes
Trunchbull: Matilda Wormwood you say? Her father says she’s a real wart
Miss Honey: what?
Trunchbull: yes she’s a disgusting, callous posturing miserable ball of ooze
Bowser: yeah, I’m told she’s not even worth a good kidna… eeerrrmm, I mean BABYSITTING!
Miss Honey: well from what I’ve seen she is a very good child, and really bright
Trunchbull: a bright child? (Scoffs)
Robotnik: What makes her so bright?
Miss Honey: she can multiply large sums in her head
Trunchbull: really? Well so can a calculator
Robotnik: does she at least know how to build robots and devices for capturing hedgehogs?
Miss Honey: well no but…
Robotnik: then you can forget this little charade about her being smart, I have an IQ of 300 I’ll have you know
Miss Honey: well I’m sure you do Mr Kintobor, I’m sure you do
(Miss Honey leaves the room shutting the door behind her feeling defeated by our 3 villains)
(As she is about to go to class we see Mario, Sonic and Rayman)
Mario: DON’T GO IN THERE IT’S-A DANGEROUS!
Miss Honey: umm, I’ve already been in there, it was no use
Sonic: really?
Miss Honey: well, yes. I never even got the chance to suggest moving Matilda to an older more advanced class
Mario: well, it was a-certainly a valiant attempt
Miss Honey: well we’re not giving up just yet
Rayman: but what about the disappearances of Mickey, Bugs and all them?
Miss Honey: wait, so there are more of you guys?
Mario: yeah, we’ll tell you on the way
(Our heroes then start walking off screen)
(The camera then pans into the Trunchbull’s office where we see the villains scheming some more)
Robotnik: oh thank goodness, we can get back to timing the demise of all those pesky heroes
Trunchbull: well, why don’t we see if our assassin can help us round up the heroes that are in this world.
(Robotnik then starts talking into a walkie talkie)
Robotnik: You, how’s the status on those heroes
(The camera then cuts to the assassin, who turns out to be Oswald)
Oswald: (into another walkie talkie) hey chill man, (throws a knife through a picture of Mickey Mouse) I’m working on it.
(Oswald puts the Walkie talkie down and reveals himself as a villain to the audience)
(The camera then cuts back to Matilda)
(Mario, Sonic, Rayman and Miss Honey come back to the classroom)
Matilda: oh hey guys
Sonic: Sup, we gotta go home right now
(Mario, Sonic and Rayman then take Matilda home fast leaving Miss Honey with her thoughts)
Miss Honey: what am I going to d… (Gets a brilliant idea)… I know, I’ll go talk to Matilda’s Parents
Mickey Mouse: (from out of the window) psssst, (Whispering) you think you can help us out?
(Miss Honey and the camera look out the window where we see Mickey Mouse and Bugs bunny)
Miss Honey: Mickey? Bugs? You guys are… …real?
Bugs: you know it doc
Miss Honey: well considering the Hedgehog looking creature, the man with the floating limbs and everything else I’ve seen today this is one of the least weird things I’ve found out all day.
Bugs: wait, did you say “Hedgehog looking creature?”
Miss Honey: yes why?
Mickey Mouse: well we recently heard about the disappearances of both Mario and Sonic.
Miss Honey: wait, I saw a weird short man named Mario in my class hanging out with that blue hedgehog looking creature
Bugs: well, I think you might just have found our warring pals
Mickey Mouse: you know where they went?
Miss Honey: they went with Matilda to her house, I was just about to head there myself, you guys want to come
Bugs: well sure, why not doc? Let’s go
(Miss Honey, Mickey and Bugs then go off to Matilda’s House)
(When the three characters leave the school grounds we see Oswald’s foot head down onto the camera)
(The camera then pans to Oswald’s face)
Oswald: I’ll get you soon mouse
(Walkie talkie then sounds off as Oswald picks it up to answer it)
Trunchbull: (In the walkie talkie) WHAT ARE YOU DONIG YOU BIG FOOTED FOOL! YOU’VE LET EVERYONE GET AWAY! WHAT KIND OF ASSASSIN ARE YOU!?
Oswald: (into the walkie talkie) chill out, if there’s one thing I’ve learned; it’s that you have to be patient, let the story play out and wait for the good guys to sink to their lowest point.
Trunchbull: (In the walkie talkie) RIGHT THEN MR WISE GUY, WE’RE GOING BACK TO MY PLACE WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS YOUR FAILIURE TO ASSASSINATE THOSE GOOD GUYS!
Oswald: (Into the walkie talkie) alright, alright.
(Oswald puts down the walkie talkie)
(The Trunchbull, Bowser and Robotnik show up in a 4 person Mario Kart style go kart)
Oswald: what. Is that?
Trunchbull: JUST GET IN YOU!
(Oswald gets into this go kart and it drives off)
(The camera then fades to Matilda’s house later at night)
(Miss Honey knocks on Matilda’s door)
(Mr Wormwood answers the door)
Harry: before you say anything we don’t give money, we don’t do charity and we don’t buy raffle tickets now scram. And take your dumb cartoons with you
Miss Honey: wait, I’d like to talk to you about Matilda
Harry: what’d she do now? (Yelling at Matilda) YOU, GO TO YOUR ROOM, RIGHT NOW! TAKE YOUR BABYSITTERS WITH YOU! (Matilda obeys) (to Miss Honey) look, whatever it is, it’s your problem now
(Harry goes to shut the door but is stopped by Miss Honey)
Miss Honey: wait a minute sir, there is no problem
Harry: well what the hell are you even doing here; beat it we’re watching television
Miss Honey: (Stern) sir, if you think watching some rotten T.V show is more important than your daughter then you shouldn’t be a parent
(Harry is taken back by this)
Harry: alright, come on in the lot of you, Mrs Wormwood isn’t gonna like this
(Miss Honey, Mickey and Bugs all come into the house)
Zinnia: (totally absorbed in the dang TV program) who is it?
Harry: some teacher and a few “cartoon” characters want to talk to us about Matilda (turns off the TV)
Zinnia: what’d you do that for? Those cowboys we’re going to have an intense gun fight
(The camera then cuts to Bugs bunny opening the door to Matilda’s room where he and Mickey see Mario and Sonic starting to fight)
(Mario and Sonic stop fighting when they notice Mickey and Bugs)
Mario/Sonic/Rayman: Mickey! Bugs! What are you guys doing here?
Mickey: we came here against our will
Matilda: what dropped you two in here anyway?
Mickey: well a few months ago we we’re just hanging out in Toon-town when this portal showed up and sent us into this world while it was under construction and that’s where we’ve been for the past few months now.
Sonic: funny you should say that considering how me and fatty McGee over here also got here via a similar strange magic portal
Mickey: really?
Rayman: saaaaaaaaay, now that you mention it, I also get sent here via magic portal
Matilda: so you guys all came here more or less against your will because some magic portal basically dictated it?
Sonic: pretty much
(Mario thinks about it)
Mario: this all seems quite weird how everyone we know seems to be “disappearing” into this universe, at least from what we’ve seen
Sonic: eh, it’s probably just a coincidence, c’mon; let’s go over-hear what irrelevant garbage Miss Honey has to say
(Sonic, Mickey, Bugs and Rayman dart off to over-hear what irrelevant garbage Miss Honey has to say)
Mario: how does everyone else put up with this guy?
Matilda: why do you ask?
Mario: well, you see me and that pesky non swimmer have been at war for years.
Matilda: so have either of you ever stopped to get to know each other?
(Mario tries to say something but can’t because of reasons that you should see clearly now the rain is gone)
(The camera then cuts to the living room)
Miss Honey: I propose that in a few short years that Matilda will be ready for college
Harry: oh really, well I never went to college and look how I turned out, it’s all nothing but a bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen
Miss Honey: don’t sneer at educated people Mr Wormwood, many people with well paying jobs will likely have been to college
Harry: like who?
Miss Honey: well if you were to get ill and need a doctor, he might be a college graduate a…
(Sonic then whispers something to Miss Honey then leaves)
Miss Honey: …or maybe you were sued for selling a faulty car, your lawyer would be a college graduate too
Harry: what car? Sued by who? Who have you been talking to?
Miss Honey: no-no-nobody, the hedgehog man over here told me you sold faulty cars
(Harry then glares to the left at Sonic)
(Sonic then gives that classic cartoon smile)
Zinnia: alright look, miss nit. A girl doesn’t get anywhere by acting intelligent. Just take a look at you and me, you chose books and I chose looks.
Mario: nice Rhyme
Zinnia: zip it!
Mario: but…
Zinnia: but nothing toilet boy!
(Sonic chuckles much like Knuckles did in Sonic the Hedgehog 3: And Knuckles. Sonic Adventure lied to me)
Zinnia: anyway. Where did that lead both of us? I have a nice house, a wonderful husband who is a successful business man by the way, the point is I have everything I could ever want. Meanwhile, you’re slaving away teaching snot nosed children their ABC’s.
Sonic: alright toots, as much as I enjoyed your diss of ol fatto mcgatto over here but even I have to admit you’re dig on the teacher here is just terrible. And I’m supposed to be the antithesis of authoritarianism created to snag at porky plumber over here.
Mario: wow Sonic, never thought you’d be sticking up for me of all people.
Sonic: I’m sticking up for ol’ honeycombs ya blob nose.
Miss Honey: oh dear, I can see that none of us are going to agree are we?
Sonic: what gave you that idea?
Miss Honey: oh nothing, just…
(Miss Honey then goes to leave)
Miss Honey: sorry to disturb you like this
(Miss Honey then leaves the house, leaving Matilda with an advanced math book)
(The camera then cuts to the villains in the Trunchbull’s house where we see Robotnik putting the finishing touches on a remote control)
Trunchbull: what are you creating?
Robotnik: I’ve just finished work on this remote control that will allow me to bring my most brilliant creation here. The only one that could ever put up a good fight with that pesky blue rodent
Trunchbull: and what might that be?
(Robotnik then presses the button on his remote control and a portal appears, and out of it comes Metal Sonic with an intimidating entrance)
Trunchbull: this, is your most brilliant creation? Looks more like a training mannequin than anything
Robotnik: oh really? Watch this (throws a Sonic plush for Metal to defeat)
(Metal then brutally destroys it and impresses Miss Trunchbull)
Robotnik: yep, this guy will destroy sonic and net me the rest of the Seven Chaos Emeralds
(Robotnik does an evil laugh in front of like, 5 Chaos Emeralds n stuff)
(Camera then fades to the next day outside Crunchem hall)
(We see the Trunchbull and Eggman turn up in Fred Flintstone’s car)
(As our villains go into the building Matilda, Mario, Sonic, Mickey, Bugs and Rayman stop in front of the car)
Sonic: umm, ok then? Interesting vehicle choice for whoever stole this car
Mario: who’d wanna steal this car in particular?
Sonic: who knows (Leans on the car and it breaks causing him to fall over)
(Mario sort of chuckles as Matilda helps Sonic get back up and then our heroes are about to get going only for Mario to trip up over one of the emeralds)
(Sonic then chuckles until he realises that it’s a Chaos emerald)
(Sonic then picks up the Emerald and places it in his inventory)
Matilda: what was that weird coloured gemstone?
Sonic: that “gemstone” is a Chaos Emerald, one of seven in fact. Once all seven are found I can harness their Chaos Energy to turn into “Super Sonic” and defeat Dr Robotnik, who currently has 5 of them already. The reason he wants them is to power up his ultimate weapon: The Death Egg! Which can also be powered by the Master Emerald.
Matilda: how do you get these emeralds?
Sonic: Normally I gotta go through special stages which change depending on what game it is. But with the way Mario accidently found a Chaos Emerald by tripping over it, who knows. But we gotta get going.
(Mario gets up and our heroes go into the building as the camera time jumps to a speaker)
Trunchbull: (via Speaker) THE ENTIRE SCHOOL IS TO MEET FOR AN ASSEMBLY IMMEDIATELY!
(Camera time jumps to the whole school, including our 6 heroes all assembled in the hall)
Trunchbull: SIT!
(Everyone sits)
Lavender: (whispering) what’s up?
Matilda: (whispering) beats me
Rayman: (whispering) I’m sure it’s nothing serious
Trunchbull: Bruce, Bogtrotter
(Bruce then comes to the stage)
Trunchbull: sit down Bog (forces Bruce to sit down) this boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is a vicious sneak thief.
Bruce: I dunno wha’cha talking about
Trunchbull: cake, chocolate cake. You slithered like a snake into the school kitchen and stole my PERSONAL SNACK!
(Whacks her riding crop on the floor)
Trunchbull: do you deny it? Confess
Bruce: It’s hard to remember a specific cake
(Camera cuts back to Sonic and co)
Sonic: well then, he doesn’t remember what he did, case closed, can we go home now?
Trunchbull: SILENCE! (back to Bruce) this cake, was mine. And it was the most scrumptious cake in the world.
Bruce: My mom’s is better
Trunchbull: oh really? How can you be so sure unless you have another piece?
(Miss Trunchbull then reveals another piece of that same chocolate cake)
(Everyone gasps)
Trunchbull: smells chocolaty eh? (makes Bruce smell the cake) now eat it (as she says this she plops the cake into his hands)
Bruce: I don’t want any, thank you.
Trunchbull: EAT IT! Or else
(Bruce turns around to see Oswald behind him looking all intimidating and stuff)
(Bruce then takes a small crumb of the cake and tries it out)
(When Bruce tries the cake he ends up liking it and ends up eating the piece)
Trunchbull: did you enjoy that cake?
Bruce: yeah, thank you
Trunchbull: you must have some more?
Bruce: no thank you
Trunchbull: but you’ll hurt cook’s feelings
Bruce: huh?
Trunchbull: cookie
(Camera then pans to cookie (the school cook) with Robotnik standing next to her with a wheelie cart containing a giant chocolate cake)
(Cookie then takes the cake and puts it in front of ol’ Brucey boy)
Trunchbull: cookie made this entire cake for you to have on your very own. Her sweat and blood went into this cake
Cookie: see ya at lunch (Robotnik and her leave the stage by exiting stage left)
Bruce: I’ve had enough
Trunchbull: SILENCE! You wanted cake you got cake now eat it!
(we then get a montage of Bruce eating the cake, getting evermore full as he does and while this is happening we occasionally get shots of Oswald preparing to snipe Mickey, because why not right?)
(We then see Bruce is most of the way through but he stops)
Lavender: (whispering) he’s going to puke, I can’t look. (She looks away)
(We then see Bruce wanting to give up until…)
Matilda: (Gets up from her chair) you can do it Brucey! You can do it!
Hortensia: yeah you can do it!
Mario: go Bruce!
(Everyone that isn’t Trunchbull, Bruce, Robotnik or Oswald cheers Bruce on)
(Bruce then finds the motivation to keep going)
Trunchbull: SCILENCE! SCILENCE!
(Camera cuts to an annoyed Oswald who can’t get a clear shot of Mickey)
Oswald: dag nabbit. Now I have to…
(Camera then cuts back to Bruce finally finishing the cake)
Bruce: YES! YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
(Holds the empty plate with pride)
Bruce: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!
(Trunchbull then smashes the plate over Bruce’s head and then he burps)
(Everyone laughs except the villains)
(Bruce leaves the stage)
Trunchbull: the entire school will stay five hours after school, and any children who object will be thrown in the Choky TOGETHER! NOW KINTOBOR! GET OVER HERE NOW!
(Robotnik gets on stage with a thing being covered by a sheet)
Robotnik: greetings students. It’s me, Wacky scientist professor person Kintobor, and I’m here to unveil a brilliant creation I’ve been working on. (pulls the sheet to reveal a deactivated Metal Sonic) the urr… Multi Economical Taxi Against Land hedgehogs, Or M.E.T.A.L for short.
(Camera then cuts to Matilda who notices that Sonic’s missing)
Matilda: (Whispering) anyone seen Sonic?
(Before anyone responds we see Sonic rush (ha ha Sonic Rush ha ha) past everyone to get right to Metal Sonic)
Sonic: ROBOTNIK!
(Metal Sonic activates and starts going after our beloved hero)
Sonic: uh oh
(Metal Sonic then gets the first hit on um, Fleshy Mac-normal Sonic I guess)
Robotnik: eeerrm, as you can see kids, one of my robot’s main features is that it can determine who’s currently a threat and will go out of its way to eradicate the threat, as my good friend Sonic is demonstrating.
(We see Sonic and Metal Sonic are still clashing)
(Camera cuts back to Mario and company)
Mario: right, thats-a it. Rayman: you’re with a-me. Mickey, Bugs: get everyone out of here. Matilda: get outta here.
(Mario and Rayman then join in and help Sonic while Mickey and Bugs evacuate Matilda and everyone that isn’t Robotnik, Miss Trunchbull or Oswald)
(However, in spite of everyone’s best efforts. Metal Sonic is still able to defeat them, because this is the first fight between heroes and villains. Therefore the good guys must have their faces kicked in)
(Metal Sonic then knocks the Chaos Emerald that was found earlier out of Sonic)
(Metal then swoops in to steal the Emerald and gives it to Dr Robotnik)
Robotnik: looks like it’s 6 for me, and zero for you (Robotnik then leaves while laughing. Metal Sonic then joins him)
(Camera fades to five hours later when we see our six heroes, five of which are like, scarred n stuff)
(They then stop by the FBO car where they see the FBO agents and Pig watching a movie, probably Toy Story)
(The pig then takes note of our Heroes and tries to escape from their eyesight but when he gets out of the car, he trips up and goes unconscious which allows the heroes to get a good look at him)
Sonic: (whispering) this guy is worse than we thought
Matilda: (whispering) because he’s hurt?
Sonic: (whispering) no, because he’s clearly a rip off Batman.
Rayman: (whispering) let’s take him in
(Sonic and friends then carry the FBO Pig into the house without anyone noticing, because science and logic defiantly applies in this movie doesn’t it)
Harry: (To Matilda) Where were you?!
Matilda: Miss Trunchbull made the whole school stay late because some boy ate chocolate cake
Harry: that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. There were packages just laying out there for the world to see because no-one was there to take em in.
Zinnia: it’s so unfair that you’re always getting nice stuff from the catalogue and I don’t get anything
Harry: but its business baby
Zinnia: well if it’s business then why don’t you have it sent to the office?
Harry: because the cops may be watching the office
Matilda: the cops are watching the house
Harry: what?
Matilda: they’re parked outside right now
Zinnia: you are such an ignoramus; they are speedboat salesmen, really nice guys
Matilda: cops
Mario: not just any-a cops either, these guys are with the-a FBO. Fictional Boarder Operatives. The best in the-a business ya know.
(Harry and Zinnia Wormwood both look out the window)
Harry: speedboats? There are no lakes around here
Zinnia: well some people like to go away on the weekends. Some people have fun
Matilda: and some people are cops
Zinnia: they are not!
Matilda: are too
Harry: THEY ARE NOT COPS, NOW GO TO BED YOU LYING LITTLE EARWIG!
(Matilda then goes to her room)
(Harry and Zinnia continue to stare out of the window)
(Camera then cuts to Matilda going into her room only to find that that pig guy has disappeared)
Matilda: what the… where’s that pig guy?
Sonic: I- I dunno. He got up, smoke-bombed us and just disappeared into the night
Rayman: he didn’t even leave us with any information about himself.
(Our heroes process what just happened)
Narrator: so with the FBO watching her house, the principal terrorizing her school. And now the mystery of that pig person. It was a rare and happy moment when Matilda could just play with her friends. So rare in fact that we only see it once in the entire movie
(Camera time fades to the next day where we see Matilda, Lavender, Hortensia, Mario, Sonic, Rayman, Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny in a forest looking for things in the river)
Lavender: A FROG A FROG A FROG!
(Our other heroes go to see what Lavender found)
Hortensia: what is it Lavender?
Lavender: A FROG! (Something else then pulls on Lavenders net)
(Everyone else then helps Lavender pull then net to reveal that the other thing it caught was Espio the Chameleon from Knuckles Chaotix)
Espio: why here? Why now?
(Camera cuts to a random newt in a jar with our heroes gathered around outside of Crunchem Hall)
Lavender: it’s a salamander
Hortensia: it’s a chameleon
Espio: no I’m a chameleon. A chameleon who’s getting out of here. See ya Sonic
(Espio leaves the scene)
Matilda: ok then, well actually you guys it’s a newt, “Any small semi aquatic salamander from the genus Triturus.”
Bruce: “Some are brightly coloured and secrete irritating substances.”
(The Trunchbull then show up in Brum from, errm. Brum. Who is spluttering because you know, the Trunchbull is too heavy and junk)
(Everyone else tries to get into the building fast as Miss Trunchbull gets out)
Trunchbull: COME ON YOU STUPID, USELESS, FLAMING CAR!
(Camera then cuts to Matilda still trying to get into the building)
Trunchbull: WORMWOOOOOOD! SELL ME A GROUP OF USELESS LEMONS WILL YOU?!
(Camera then cuts to Trunchbull dragging Matilda to the choky)
Trunchbull: YOU’RE HEADING FOR THE CHOKY YOUNG LADY!
Matilda: choky?
Trunchbull: TEACH YOU A LESSON!
Matilda: what lesson?
Trunchbull: YOU AND YOUR FATHER THINK YOU CAN MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME!?
Matilda: my father?
Trunchbull: THE GUY WITH THE STUPID HAIRCUT!
Matilda: I’m nothing like my father
Trunchbull: YOU’RE THE SPITTING IMAGE!
(Trunchbull puts Matilda in the Choky)
Trunchbull: the apple never rots far from the tree
(Trunchbull then shuts the door on the choky)
(Camera then cuts to Miss Honey and friends)
Lavender: Miss Honey
Miss Honey: Miss Trunchbull starts in a few minutes Lavender I’d like you to get her a jug of water
Lavender: but Miss Honey
Miss Honey: there’s no time Lavender just do it
(Lavender puts the Jug under the tap and gets some water in it. She then puts the newt from earlier in the jug without anyone knowing)
(The whole class franticly sit down)
Miss Honey: now remember Miss Trunchbull is very strict about everything, don’t speak until you’re spoken to, so don’t smile, don’t laugh, don’t even breath loudly an…
(Miss Trunchbull enters the scene)
Trunchbull: don’t breathe at all.
Students: good morning Miss Trunchbull
(Lavender gives Miss Trunchbull the jug of water)
Trunchbull: shoo
(Lavender shoos back to her seat)
Trunchbull: I never understood why small children can be so disgusting; they’re the bane of my life…
(Camera cuts to Miss Honey realising Matilda’s missing)
Miss Honey: (silently) where’s Matilda?
Lavender: (through sign Language) in the Choky
(Camera cuts back to Miss Trunchbull)
Trunchbull: …they’re like insects, they should be gotten rid of as soon as possible (pretends to spray the students of the class for a bit) you see, my idea of a perfect school is one where there are no children, At all. Wouldn’t you agree Miss Honey?
(We see Miss Honey just nod her head as she, Mario, Sonic and Rayman leave the room)
(Camera cuts to the hallway where we peer into Robotnik’s class)
(Miss Honey and the heroes pass by and Robotnik takes note of this)
(Camera then cuts to Miss Trunchbull’s office where we see our 4 heroes trying to unlock the choky)
Mario: drat. It’s-a locked
Sonic: and we can’t find the key
Rayman: well it looks like we’ll need to break in. Any ideas?
(Mario notices an empty buzz saw frame then snaps his fingers)
Mario: I’ve got it
Sonic: what Marioty?
Mario: I’m-a gonna need you to hop in this buzz saw frame and, well… A-you know
Sonic: aw yeah, now we’re getting somewhere
(Sonic Jumps into the buzz saw frame and curls into a ball then proceeds to revs up really, really fast. So fast it ends up breaking the door off of its hinges and it releases Matilda)
(Matilda and Miss Honey hug and go back to class)
(Robotnik enters)
Robotnik: well well well if it isn’t So…
Sonic: nope
(Sonic then grabs Rayman and Mario then darts off before Robotnik can capture them)
(Robotnik gets an annoyed look on his face)
Robotnik: well that was rude wasn’t it. (sigh) oh well. Back to my class I guess
(Camera cuts back to Miss Honey’s class)
(Our Heroes enter as Miss Trunchbull is emptying someone’s pockets by hanging them upside down)
Trunchbull: the next time I tell you to empty your pockets you’ll do it faster
Random Student: yes Miss Trunchbull
(Trunchbull takes note of our heroes)
Trunchbull: my my Jen, this is perhaps the most audacious thing you’ve ever done
(Miss Trunchbull drops the random child and he rushes back to his seat)
Trunchbull: now Jen, let’s see if your teachings are as strong as your “bravery” (To Amanda Thripp) you
(Amanda gets up)
Trunchbull: can you spell?
Amanda: well Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell difficulty
Trunchbull: you couldn’t spell difficulty if your life depended on it
Amanda: she taught us with a poem
Trunchbull: (sarcastically) a poem how sweet, what poem would that be?
Amanda: Mrs D, Mrs I, Mrs F F I, (the rest of the class join in) Mrs C, Mrs U, Mrs L T Y.
Trunchbull: WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED?! “MRS D, MRS I?!” (To Miss Honey) YOU’RE SUPPOSE TO BE TEACHING SPELLING, NOT POETRY!
Rayman: in fairness Trunchie, poems do help kids with spelling an…
Trunchbull: SHUT YOUR HOLE YOU! (Goes back to her desk) I can never understand why small children take so long to grow up. Its like they do it deliberately just to annoy me
(The FBO Pig then peers through the window)
FBO Pig: well you see madam, children don’t control how long they take to grow up so…
Trunchbull: CAN IT RIGHT NOW YOU PORK POT BELLY!
FBO Pig: Who writes this garbage? (Smells the air for a bit and has a realisation) this has The Man That Makes’ plagiarism written all over it. Gotta go
Sonic: porker wait…
(The FBO Pig then leaves)
(Miss Trunchbull then pours herself a glass of water without realising the newt is in there)
(The whole class try not to laugh but ooooooh she knows they’re doing this)
Trunchbull: what’s funny? Come on. Spit it out. I like a joke as well as the next fat person
Mario: HEY, I-A HEARD THAT!
Sonic: yeah, that’s my insult!
Mario: umm… a-yeah? I guess
(Miss Trunchbull then looks at the glass and makes the most obvious realisation ever)
Trunchbull: (in fear) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! It’s a snake! (angrily) one of you tried to POISON ME! (To Matilda) you!
Matilda: it wasn’t me but I’d thought you’d like to know that this is a newt
Trunchbull: it was clearly you! You’ve got the motive, you didn’t like it in the choky did you? TOUGHT YOU COULD GET YOUR OWN BACK DID YOU!? DID YOU ACT ALONE OR DID YOU HAVE ACCOMPLICES!?
Matilda: I didn’t do it
Trunchbull: (psst) you’re obvious lying, but besides even if you didn’t do it I’m still going to punish you, you know why? Because I’m big and you’re small, I’m smart and you’re dumb, I’m right and you’re wrong
Sonic: (mumbles) where have we heard that before?
Trunchbull: and there’s nothing you or your so called “Pals” can do about it, you wanna know why? (Matilda stares angrily at the water and it starts shaking) because in this room, in this school. I. Am. GOD!
(The glass then tips over releasing the newt upon Miss Trunchbull)
(The Trunchbull then goes into a frightful frenzy)
(Everyone laughs at her)
(She eventually gets the newt off, it flies into a light bulb. Then it drops into some kid’s hands)
(Camera cuts back to Trunchbull who stares angrily at Matilda)
Trunchbull: YOU! YOU DID THIS!
Miss Honey: how could she had done it if she was all the way over here?
Sonic: yeah, she raises a good point. If anything you should be blaming me. The supersonic mischievous hedgehog with attitude that can oooooh I dunno. Move faster than the speed of sound!
Trunchbull: I’ll be watching you, all of you, when you skip merrily to lunch, when you grab your smelly little coats. I’ll be watching you, all of you (to the main characters) especially you! And I-
(Bugs and Mickey then just decide to wheel Miss Trunchbull out of the room)
Bugs: and that’s all from her folks
Mickey: yeah, come back next week to hear more of her ranting and raving
Bugs: this time about the existential crisis that comes with being a fictional character
(The three then leave the room)
Miss Honey: what just happened?
Mario: you’ll get use to it
Miss Honey: umm, Ok then? Errm- Class dismissed while I clean this mess. I’ll help you fill the bird feeder later
Lavender: (whispering to Matilda) thanks for not telling
Matilda: (whispering back) best friends don’t tell. She can really dance
Sonic: yeah, she should be a dance act
(The whole class leave except Matilda, Mario, Sonic and Rayman)
(Mickey and Bugs come back)
(Matilda goes over to Miss Honey’s desk)
Matilda: Miss Honey?
Miss Honey: what is it Matilda?
Matilda: I did it
Miss Honey: did what?
Matilda: I made the glass tip over
Miss Honey: aww, don’t let Miss Trunchbull make you feel that way nobody did it, it was an accident.
Matilda: I did it with my eyes
Mario: yeah, a-sure. And a-I can possess my enemies with my hat
(Matilda tries to make the glass tip over again but fails)
Matilda: I dunno. Maybe I made myself tired
Miss Honey: it’s amazing you feel so powerful. Many people don’t feel powerful at all an…
Matilda: it’s not like that
Miss Honey: oh. Well how would you and your little cartoon friends like to come over to my house for tea?
Matilda: I’d like that very much
Sonic/Mario: wait WHAT?!
(Camera cuts to later on when we see Matilda, Mario, Sonic, Rayman, Mickey and Bugs walking over to Miss Honey’s house, thus ruining our suspension of belief)
Matilda: I think these powers have something to do with my eyes and some strange energy that builds up in them, I feel like I could move anything. You do believe me don’t you?
Miss Honey: I think you should believe in whatever power you think you have, believe it with all of your heart
Sonic: but still, did no one think to blame me for that? I mean come on, with the way I wasn’t even acknowledged during that glass tipping you’d almost think I wasn’t even there.
(our heroes then stop just short of Miss Trunchbull’s house)
Miss Honey: a girl I know use to live in that house, (flashes back to Miss Honey’s past) her life was good and happy. But unfortunately when she was two her mother died of unknown causes. Her father was a medical doctor so he needed someone to look after things at home. So he bought in his step sister to look after his daughter. But that person was very mean to the girl, no points for guessing who this person was.
Matilda: the Trunchbull
Miss Honey: yeah, and things get worse, when the girl was five her father died.
(Camera shows Miss Honey’s dead father man)
Matilda: how did her father die?
(Shot of a police cars outside Miss Honey’s old house)
Miss Honey: the police thought he killed himself.
Matilda: why would he do such a thing?
(Fades back to our heroes walking)
Miss Honey: no-one knows. But after he died, the Trunchbull only got meaner. But the end gets happier once she gets older. She snuck out, rented a cottage from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just fifty dollars a month, planted a whole bunch of wild flowers and moved out of her wicked aunt’s house
Matilda: good for her.
(Our heroes stop walking)
Miss Honey: do you know why I told you this?
Matilda: no
Miss Honey: because you were born into a family that doesn’t always appreciate you. But soon, things will turn around in your favour.
Sonic: and this holds relevancy to us how?
Miss Honey: I’m sure it’ll crop up somewhere. Shall we go inside?
Matilda: yes please.
(Our heroes begin to walk until Matilda makes a realisation in front of Miss Honey’s cottage)
Matilda: this is the cottage from your story. The young woman was you! But then… no!
Miss Honey: yes, aunt Trunchbull.
(Mario and friends also get surprised)
Mario: MAMA-MIA! YOU MEAN-A THAT CRAZY WOMAN WAS YOUR A-AUNT!?
Miss Honey: yeah, would you guys also like to come in and have tea?
Sonic: sure
(Camera cuts to all of our heroes in Miss Honey’s run down cottage having tea)
Miss Honey: when I left my house. Well, aunt Trunchbull’s house I had to leave all of my treasures behind.
Matilda: treasures? What treasures?
Mario: Gold-a Coins?
Rayman: 1000 yellow Lums?
Sonic: the secret formula to the Nintendo 64?
Miss Honey: photos of my mother and father, and this lovely doll my mother gave me, Lissy Doll, I called her.
Sonic: I see. Me and the others are gonna go wait outside if that’s ok
Miss Honey: oh sure, go ahead
Mario: okie-dokie, let’s-a go.
(The camera then cuts to the exterior of the cottage)
Sonic: well Mario, I can’t I’m about to say this but… you’re not as bad of a guy as I thought you’d be.
Mario: gee. A-thanks. I-a suppose you’re starting to grow on me too.
Sonic: yeah. I’d almost go as far as calling you a decent pal, and as my decent pal I’m going to help you and the others to survive any encounter with Metal Sonic.
(The camera then cuts to a montage of Sonic fighting Mario and the others to help teach them how to defeat Metal Sonic later)
(As our heroes finish their bout Matilda and Miss Honey walk out of the cottage)
(Mario, Sonic and the others join Matilda and Miss Honey)
(Once our heroes see Miss Trunchbull, Bowser, Robotnik and Metal Sonic exit Miss Trunchbull’s house they hide in the bushes. What cowards am I right?)
Robotnik: So I can assume the Universes should begin merging right about… (presses a button on another remote) …now. Metal Sonic. You’re with Trunchbull. Bowser and I will start searching
(Metal and Bowser go off to find the final chaos emerald)
Sonic: (Whispering) what the heck did Robotnik do?
Mario: (Whispering) I’m-a not sure.
(Camera cuts to a shot of Miss Trunchbull loading up the A-Team’s van with Olympic gear until she sees a black cat)
Trunchbull: AAAAAAAH!
(Camera cuts back to the good guys)
Matilda: she’s afraid of a cat?
Miss Honey: black cats, she’s very superstitious
(Ok camera, cut back to the freaky deaky Truncharoony being a coward)
(The Trunchbull barks like a dog hoping to scare the cat but when that fails, well. It doesn’t end well for the cat let me tell you. It gets kicked)
Cat: MEEEEAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOW!
(The cat lands on its feet and walks it off)
Matilda: Poor kitty
Mario: I’m-a sure it’ll be fine
Cat: (off screen) Meow meow meow *@?£! (throws a can at Mario)
Mario: Ow!
(Miss Trunchbull and Metal Sonic Then get going in the A-Team van)
Matilda: let’s go get your treasures
Miss Honey: no Matilda
Sonic: don’t worry. I’ll do it for you
Narrator: oh crap! If Sonic gets the treasures, i’m done for. Ummm, but every time Sonic tried to get Miss Honey’s jazz back he eeerrrm… got teleported back to the same spot he started at.
(Sonic keeps getting teleported back to where he started 4 times and gives up)
Sonic: oh alright fine Mr. Narrator we’ll do things your way (mumbles) and thus waste my main ability as a character
(Our heroes then go inside Miss Trunchbull’s house)
Rayman: nice digs, though I’d probably wanna live here
(Our heroes then get a good whiff at Miss Trunchbull’s portrait)
Miss Honey: oh my. My father’s portrait use to hang there
Matilda: whoever painted the Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. A really strong stomach.
Sonic: yeah, in fact lemme just… (Sonic rushes off to the bathroom then comes back moments later panting) …alright I’m back.
(Miss Honey then looks to the left and sees her father’s chocolate box)
Miss Honey: (gasp) father’s chocolate box
(Our heroes go over to it)
Miss Honey: after supper, he’d take a chocolate, cut it in half, and he’d always give me the bigger half. But even since he died, aunt Trunchbull would always take the chocolate and say…
(Flashback)
Trunchbull: much too good for children
(Back to the present)
Matilda: have one
Miss Honey: oh no, she’d notice
Sonic: c’mon man, do it.
(Miss Honey takes the lid off the box, considers for a moment then closes the lid)
Matilda: so where’s Lissy doll?
Miss Honey: upstairs in my room
(Matilda then goes towards the stairs)
Miss Honey: Matilda wait (Miss Honey goes to follow her with the others joining behind her)
Matilda: WHAT! (Scares Miss Honey and they both have a laugh as they run up the stairs)
(Sonic and the others also follow our two heroes)
(Camera cuts to Miss Trunchbull and Metal Sonic as the A Team van breaks down)
Trunchbull: Grrrrrrr, No don’t you- Gaaaah!
(Miss Trunchbull and Metal Sonic get out of the van)
Trunchbull: YOU, BOLT BRAIN! FIND OUT THE PROBLEM WITH ALL OF OUR CARS!
(Metal Sonic scans that thing)
Metal Sonic: well it appears all of our vehicles have one common flaw, being sold to us by Wormwood Motors. A cheapskate place that sells broken trash to customers for a quick buck
(Miss Trunchbull then lifts the van to turn it around in a blind rage)
(She then gets back in the car because she’s having Metal Sonic push the car for her)
(Camera cuts to our heroes in Miss Honey’s old room)
Miss Honey: so this is where my father’s old portrait ended up. I always called him king Magnus, and he called me bumblebee.
Sonic: you mean like the Robot from Transformers?
(Matilda takes note of Lissy Doll)
Matilda: is that Lissy Doll?
(Camera cuts to a shot where we see the front door opening to reveal the silhouettes of Metal and Trunchbull then it cuts back to our heroes)
Sonic: so all that really needs to be done is some tidying up, a quick bit of dusting, a little re-decorating and you’d be good to go here.
Matilda: Miss Honey, I don’t think your father killed himself
Miss Honey: neither do I.
Trunchbull: (from downstairs) WORMWOOD! (Our heroes quietly go over to see what this is and the camera cuts to Miss Trunchbull) YOU USELESS USED CAR SALESMAN! I WANT YOU AROUND HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT AND IF YOU DON’T GET HERE SOON ME AND THE OTHER GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE ROADKILL! WE’LL HAVE THE ROBOT DO TO YOU WHAT HE DID TO THAT BLUE FRE- (Harry hangs up)
(Metal Sonic then scans the life energies of our heroes and notifies Miss Trunchbull)
Trunchbull: WHO’S IN MY HOOOOOOOUUUUUUUSSSEEE!
(Camera cuts back to the heroes)
Miss Honey: (whispering) Matilda, you go and hide. I’ll distract her
Rayman: (whispering) or Me, Mario, Sonic, Mickey and Bugs can fight her and Metal
(Camera cuts back to Miss Trunchbull and metal advancing towards Miss Honey’s Room)
(Miss Trunchbull opens the door to seemingly find that no one is in there)
Trunchbull: COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!
Sonic: oh alright since you asked so nicely
(Sonic, Rayman, Mario, Mickey and bugs all strike a punch at Miss Trunchbull and metal sonic then run to the other end of the hall)
(Miss Trunchbull and Metal glare at our heroes while Matilda and Miss Honey slip by)
(Miss Trunchbull and Metal then go after our heroes)
Miss Honey: (whispering) alright Matilda, you go downstairs, and I’ll help distract Miss Trunchbull
(Matilda sneaks downstairs)
(Camera cuts back to Sonic and friends fighting Trunch n Metal)
Sonic: remember team, we practiced for times like this in the Montage
(Miss Honey then slams the door shut causing Metal Sonic to turn his head to face her)
| (oh boy, we’re gonna reference the thing) |
(Metal Sonic then charges at Miss Honey but Sonic is able to save her by getting in the way and charging into Metal fast like in the OVA Movie)
(Miss Trunchbull then takes note of what’s going on)
Trunchbull: give up you blue pipsqueak, he knows everything you’re going to do from what Robotnik told me
Sonic: that might be true, but that’s not going to help him since I know everything he’s going to do. STRANGE ISN’T IT! GRRRRRRRRRR!
(Mario then takes a hammer to Metal’s head)
(Metal grabs the hammer and throws it and Mario over the balcony)
Mickey: uh oh
(Metal then defeats Mickey and bugs somehow)
(Sonic face palms at this)
(Miss Trunchbull then grabs Sonic and Rayman and throws them over the balcony like a shot put)
(The Trunchbull then jumps off of the balcony)
Trunchbull: TALLY HOOOOOOOO!
(Miss Trunchbull lands on the ground with such a thud that it causes an earthquake)
(Camera cuts to Matilda in the kitchen reacting to all this)
(Camera cuts to outside where we see the FBO Pig being affected by the earthquake)
FBO Pig: (shaking) WHOOOOOAAAAAAAH! WHAT’S HAPPENIIIIIIIING!
(FBO Pig then darts off to find a way in from the upstairs)
(Camera cuts to Miss Trunchbull heading for the kitchen while Metal attempts to finish our heroes off)
(Camera cuts to Matilda hiding under the kitchen table cowering in fear)
(Miss Trunchbull’s silhouette looms over the table cloth)
(When Miss Trunchbull flips the cover she finds that Matilda isn’t there, wait what?)
(The camera rotates upwards to reveal that Matilda is hiding above the legs of the table)
(Miss Trunchbull then starts eating cake like a doggone animal)
(Matilda then slowly begins to climb downward)
(Camera cuts to Miss Honey who takes note of Matilda and then slams the front the door)
(Miss Trunchbull then goes to investigate thus allowing Matilda to come out of hiding)
(Some random junk then spills into the kitchen from another set of stairs)
(following the junk we see Miss Honey reunite with Matilda)
(The FBO Pig also comes down following Miss Honey but he does it by falling down the stairs)
FBO Pig: yowsers, these stairs can really do a number on ya
Matilda: you again?
FBO Pig: never mind that kid, to the basement!
(The FBO Pig then takes Miss Honey and Matilda to the basement)
(Camera cuts back to a wounded Mario and the gang still fighting Metal)
Sonic: (exhausted) if we can just hold out a little longer we might be able to-
Mario: forget the robotic can opener, let’s get out of here
(Mario then rounds everyone up and they go into the kitchen before Metal can kill them and then into the basement with Matilda, Miss Honey and the FBO Pig)
(They then lock the basement door)
Matilda: hey guys
Sonic: howdy, we just got back from a near death experience
(They take note of all the villains’ tech that’s down here)
Rayman: why is there so much technology down here?
(Camera cuts to Miss Trunchbull and Metal Sonic heading towards the basement)
(The two villains enter the kitchen and force the basement door open despite the fact our heroes locked it)
(The camera cuts to our Heroes)
Miss Honey: uh oh
(Miss Honey, Matilda and the rest all end up making an escape)
(Camera cuts to Miss Trunchbull)
Trunchbull: Some rats are gonna DIE TODAY!
(Miss Trunchbull and Metal Sonic pick up some Olympic hammers and chase the heroes through the exit door in the basement)
(Camera cuts to our heroes as they see the two villains break open the doors)
(Matilda, Miss Honey and the FBO Pig keep running)
(Sonic and co on the other hand decide to fight)
(This ends with them being un-victorious)
(Trunchbull Pulls out a walkie talkie)
Trunchbull: hello? It’s me again. And let’s just say that most of your good guy troubles have been taken care of
Robotnik: (through walkie talkie) bring everyone except Mario and Sonic into the basement, this will be good.
(Camera cuts to Matilda, Miss Honey and The FBO Pig who are quite a distance from the Trunchbull’s house)
Matilda: (panting) that was a close one
FBO Pig: (panting) yeah you’re telling me, name’s Night Pig kid, pleased to meet ya. But I gotta go. I have a feeling we’ll run into each other again soon.
(Night Pig goes off to leave)
Matilda: but what about Mario, Sonic and all them?
(Night Pig then stops)
Night Pig: they’ll get out eventually, but hey before I go, one word of advice, practise whatever powers you’ll gain. They’ll come in handy in the future. Night Pig out.
(Night Pig then jumps and swings away)
Miss Honey: Matilda, I want you to promise me you’ll never go back in that house again.
Matilda: I promise
Narrator: so Matilda finally caught the name of that pig guy and escaped from the Trunchbull, as for Mario and company? Ha. See for yourself.
(Camera cuts to a POV shot of Mario waking up outside Miss Trunchbull’s house)
Mario: mama-mia. (Makes the realisation that the surrounding area is… different somehow)
(Mario then gets Sonic to wake up)
Sonic: what happened?
Mario: we must have gotten knocked out by Metal Sonic during the a-fight. But I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t the bad guys just kill us while we were down?
Sonic: well there must be a reason for this, come on. Let’s go find Matilda and get her to help us find the rest of us good guys
(Mario and Sonic then leave Miss Trunchbull’s house)
(As Mario and Sonic keep running they start to notice that elements from their universes: Question Mark boxes, Power ups, Loop-de-loops, Speed Boosters, exedra, are here too)
Sonic: uh oh, looks like we’re starting to run outta time. Gotta speed up
(Mario and Sonic then starts speeding up)
(Camera cuts back to Matilda in her room)
Matilda: Dad?
Harry: (off screen) WHAT!
Matilda: yell at me ok?
Harry: SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE!
(Matilda almost shuts the door with her mind but fails)
Matilda: yell at me again
Harry: YELL AT YA?! I’M GONNA COME IN THERE AND POUND YOUR SORRY LITTLE HIDE!
(Matilda then slams and locks the door in Harry’s face)
(She smiles at this)
(Camera cuts to her practicing her powers… on some cereal. Eh, whatever floats her boat I guess)
Narrator: Matilda was starting to get the hang of her new powers, the key to mastering and unlocking those powers was practice. And for some reason, negative memories of Miss Trunchbull and the ever handsome Harry Wormwood.
(Matilda then has flashbacks of previous scenes)
(After the flashbacks are over Matilda was able to pour the cereal using just her mind)
(Matilda then smiles and eats a spoonful with her mind)
(Little bitty pretty one starts playing in the background as the camera cuts to Matilda playing with her powers while dancing)
(after Matilda is done playing she turns off the music and opens the curtains… wait for it. Using her mind, whoaaaaaaaaaah dude)
(she notices the FBO agents heading for the garage)
(Camera cuts to the FBO Agents searching through the garage)
(Matilda stands just outside without the FBO People knowing)
Peewee: shouldn’t we have a search warrent?
Night Pig: nah mate, I’m a Super hero so it’s totally fine for you to do this just by mere association with me. Now that that’s wrapped up, I’m taking the box, one of you dopes take the camera
Peewee: why must you grab the box?
Other FBO agent: yeah, what gives?
Night Pig: because I can take myself seriously when I want to, I have amazing balance, also because I am The Night Pig. Master of Stealth
(Matilda then moves the box out of Night Pig’s reach)
(Night Pig goes to move the box but notices it’s in a different position)
Night Pig: what the heck? (Mumbles) oh yeah, it’s this scene
Matilda: you folks are gonna be in a lot of trouble very soon
Peewee: it’s the female minor
Night Pig: I’ll handle this (to Matilda) shouldn’t you be in school Matilda?
Matilda: I hope you guys have a search warrant, in a law book I read in the library it says if you don’t have a warrant you could lose your job or even go to federal prison
Night Pig: well luckily for me I’m a super hero so I don’t need one and since these guys are following me they shouldn’t need warrants either.
Matilda: are you sure about that?
Night Pig: well let me ask you this. When have you ever seen a Super hero movie where the main characters have to go and fill out permission forms to do the things they do?
Matilda: never?
Night Pig: exactly, and it won’t be us going to federal prison. That would be your father.
Peewee: yeah, and if you’re good and let us do our job we’ll make sure you end up in a good federal orphanage. The kind that doesn’t have rats or sewage leaks.
(Matilda uses her mind to disable the FBO car’s handbrake causing it to roll backwards. The young psychopath what is she doing?!)
Matilda: there’s another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign
(Night Pig and the FBO agents then take note of this)
(They then start running)
(Matilda then takes the tape out of the camera like a criminal using her mind again)
(Night pig then catches a brief glimpse of this)
Night Pig: I’ve gotta report this to the media
(The camera then cuts to her getting rid of the evidence by tossing it in the garbage. Why is she doing this? Is she sentimental or something?)
Narrator: so she was able to buy her father some time to come to his senses because. And I’m not kidding here, she has bigger fish to fry
(ah, I See, so the Camera then cuts to late at night where we see Matilda getting ready to head back to Miss Trunchbull’s house)
(camera then cuts to Matilda walking to the front door)
Mike: where’re you goin twerp?
Matilda: out
(Mike then gets a small carrot and prepares to launch it at Matilda)
Mike: hey dip face, have a carrot
(ol’ mike-a-doodle catapults the carrot at Matilda but Matilda stops it mid-air)
Matilda: nah, you eat it
(Matilda then flings the carrot back at mike causing him to choke on it. Kind of unjustified don’t you think?)
Harry: (To Michael) CHEW YER FOOD, YOU’RE AN ANIMAL!
(Camera cuts to just outside the wormwood household where we see Matilda begin to walk but then Mario and Sonic quickly bring her to the bushes Oh come on even the main characters are no good in this?!)
Mario: before you go off into the a-night we need to warn you that… well, things are going to seem a bit-a weird to the likes of you.
Matilda: how so?
Sonic: our friends got kidnapped and now we gotta rescue them under the pressure of a countdown clock
Matilda: well I’m already off to do some rescues of my own
Sonic: then let’s go
(Our three heroes then start to navigate their way to Miss Trunchbull’s house)
(When they get there they see it beginning to turn into a sort of amalgamation of the house and Robotnik’s Lair. Oh and some Bowser’s castle too I guess)
Matilda: ok, you two head inside, I’ll take the roof
Sonic: ok then? Lets go
(Mario and Sonic then go into Miss Trunchbull’s house)
(Matilda then climbs to another roof that happens to be opposite the window where Lissy Doll is)
(Camera then cuts to Mario and Sonic wondering around the house looking for the basement. Which they were JUST IN A FEW PAGES AGO! But that’s beside the point)
(Mario and Sonic then find the basement they should’ve found immediately and head inside it)
(Our heroes then begin searching the basement)
Mario: man, you’d almost think the bad guys want us to infiltrate all of their-a garbage
(The Basement door then locks up)
Sonic/Mario: UH OH!
Oswald: yup, ya’ll are done for now, buckos!
(Oswald gets out. And I’m not kidding here, an AK47)
Sonic: (gulp)
(Mario and Sonic then run as Oswald fires the life out of those… none… sentient… bullets. just go with it you!)
(The camera then cuts back to Matilda as she begins to unnecessarily mess with the bad guys by bringing them… the ultimate torture of hockey stick hell. how this helps get the doll is a big mystery)
(She moves Miss Trunchbull’s chair backwards)
(Miss Trunchbull then sits down only to fall over, despite the fact she should have heard the sound of her chair moving)
Robotnik: you ok?
Trunchbull (Yelling) I’M FINE YOU FOOL!
(Our villains then hear a thud coming from upstairs)
(Camera then cuts to our heroes and Oswald reacting to the same sound)
Oswald: (Stops firing and perks his ear up) you guys hear that?
Sonic: yeah (pause) it’s probably nothing
(Mario, Sonic and Oswald then start to hear more thuds)
Oswald: uh oh, I’m getting outta here
(Oswald then runs to check on the other villains)
(Mario and Sonic then use this to hide under the damn table like uncharacteristic cowards)
(the camera then cuts back to the villains being all confused by heavy shot-put balls rolling down stairs)
(Miss Trunchbull then looks up and sees her portrait shaking and gasps)
(This portrait then commits suicide by jumping in the fire place and burning to whatever the painting equivalent of death is. Poor thing)
(Trunchbull looks up the stairs and sees Ol’ Magnus Mc Portrait)
Trunchbull: MAGNUS!
(Miss Trunchbull and the villains then see Mr Ominous Magnus Portrait over here go and prop itself where the Trunchbull Portrait once was. Kind of rude don’t you think?)
(The Camera then cuts to Matilda using her Powers to convince Lissy Doll to be all “alright let’s go do this then”)
(The Doll then catches some gnarly wind first and then Matilda finally gets the doll. The power of doll-napping is in her hands folks. Oh and by the way, while Matilda was doing this, Night Pig was recording footage for the Media like a creep. Just thought we’d bring this up now)
(Matilda then climbs down, not realising her ribbon has caught on a dang branch, tree branches these days am I right)
(The Night Pig then jumps down and turns off his video camera)
(The Camera then cuts to Miss Trunchbull and the villains finally calming down)
Trunchbull: (gasping) I thinks it’s over now
(The Heroes, now including Rayman, Bugs and Mickey Emerge with 6 Chaos Emeralds in toe)
Sonic: sup Robuttnik
Robotnik: YOU AGAIN! HOW’D YOU FREE THE OTHERS!
Sonic: oh it was nothing really. All we did was take advantage of the fact that Oswald was gone during that whole ghost scare and free the others using my buzz saw move. See ya.
(Sonic and the heroes then make a dash for the door)
(The camera then cuts to the outside where we see Mario and the gang run out of the house)
(The villains then follow suit and get in the Eggmobile from Sonic, only to find Matilda’s ribbon)
(The Camera then time fades to the next morning where we ol’ Miss Honey waiting outside the school)
(Matilda and friends get off the bus)
Matilda: hey Miss Honey, I have a surprise for you
(She shows Miss Honey the doll of doom)
(Mario, Sonic and the others then look at each other with confusion because as far as they were concerned Matilda was on the roof)
Miss Honey: (takes the doll) how did you get this?
Mario: how should we-a know. She was doing things on the a-roof as far as we know
(Miss Trunchbull and Robotnik then show up via physics breaking rocket ship. Don’t ask, the writer was off his rocker when he wrote this)
(Miss Honey has to hide the doll behind her back as the villains approach)
Trunchbull: Kintobor and I shall take class today, have fun being criticised to death
(The villains pass our heroes pass by instead of asking what’s behind Miss Honey’s gosh darn back. We would use the other version of that phrase but come on, this is a kids movie you guys)
(The Night Pig and a news team then swoop in)
Night Pig: and here we see our psychic child going to school. (To Matilda) Kid, could you tell us how you use these powers?
Matilda: well, uuuuuuummmmm
(Everyone ends up in an awkward silence)
News Reporter: are you sure this kid has psychic po…
Night Pig: YES I’M BEING HONEST! STOP PATRONISING ME!
News Reporter: yeeeeeaaaaah, I think we shouldn’t run this story (to their news team) come on you guys, let’s get out of here.
(The news team then pack up their bags and begin leaving)
Night Pig: wait, I’m still getting those royalties right?
News Reporter: oh, stuff your royalties BatPig.
Night Pig: NO NO NO NO NO NO, COME BACK! PLEASE! I NEED THIIIIIIIS!
(The main characters also leave the scene, but they go into the school while the news team leave the movie period)
(Night Pig throws the microphone off screen and goes to follow the main characters)
(The camera cuts to our main characters in Miss Honey’s class)
Miss Honey: maybe I can put the doll back while she’s in her office an… no no no no that’s too risky
Matilda: Miss Honey, its fine
Miss Honey: Matilda you promised me you wouldn’t go back in that house
Matilda: I didn’t, (whispering) I did it with my powers
Miss Honey: oh right, powers
(Miss Honey then mulls over what she’s gonna do now)
(Matilda then lifts a jug with her powers)
(Miss Honey puts the jug down)
(Matilda lifts it up again)
(Miss Honey gets a look at the others looking at the jug with their jaws on the floor)
(Miss Honey then realises that nothing is holding the jug in the air and looks at Matilda with a surprised look on her face)
Miss Honey: (whispering) powers
(Matilda nods)
(Night Pig then shows up)
Night Pig: yeah, hi. I just wanted to say I CALLED IT!
Sonic: no kidding porker, no kidding
Night Pig: what did you call me Sonic?!
Sonic: Porker heh heh. You are a future Porker Lewis right?
Night Pig: I. AM THE NIGHT PIG! DEFENDER OF REEL DEAL CITY! And yes, you’re right about me being from the future. Mind if I hang with you guys?
Matilda: umm, sure why not
Sonic: yeah, we could always use a member of the FBO to help arrest the bad guys.
Night Pig: cool
(Miss Trunchbull then enters but before she sees the floating jug Miss Honey grabs it)
Trunchbull: GET IN YOU LOT, GET IN GET IN! RUN RUN RUN DON’T KEEP ME WAITING! (to Miss Honey) WATER! (Pours herself a glass) HOLD THE NEWT! (she takes a sip)
Rayman: so what do ya want anyway?
Trunchbull: sometimes in life (she pushes a bunch of desks to a wall) horrible and unexplainable things happen (more desks get the abusive push treatment) these things are a test of character (she then pushes more desks, please help these poor desks find a better home by calling 0800 4578 333 today) and I have character. Did you know, that it is illegal to enter someone’s home without permission? (she then takes out Matilda’s ribbon) which one of you owns this DISGUSTING RIBBON! (She then throws the ribbon on the floor, spits on it and then stomps the life out of it. Oh great, are we gonna have to call Ribbon Abuse services too?!)
(Miss Honey then goes next to Miss Trunchbull. A very suicidal Idea being honest but hey, what are ya gonna do?)
Miss Honey: hey, umm I was the one at your house last night I…
(Miss Trunchbull then grabs Miss Honey’s arm. Call the police now this is STRANGER DANGER FOLKS!)
Trunchbull: I broke your arm once jenny I can do it again.
(Miss Honey then grabs Miss Trunchbull’s arm)
Miss Honey: I AM NOT SEVEN YEARS OLD ANYMORE AUNT TRUNCHBULL! (as she says this she forces Miss Trunchbull to Lego of her arm. Ha, “Lego”)
(All of the Children, Including Night Pig but excluding Matilda, Mario, Sonic, Rayman, Bugs and Mickey)
Trunchbull: SHUT YOUR HOLES!
Robotnik: (from outside) ya know what. I think now’s the perfect time to reveal ourselves
(Robotnik and the other villains burst into the room)
Oswald: you better fess up son, or else the mouse gets it (points an uncharacteristic pistol at Mickey)
Night Pig: she did it (points at Matilda)
(Miss Trunchbull then grabs Matilda by the neck)
Trunchbull: I’M GOING TO SEND YOU TO A PLACE WHERE NOT EVEN THE CROWS CAN LAND THEIR DROPPINGS ON YOU!
Night Pig: PUT ER DOWN YOU! (Runs and jumps for the Trunchbull) WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA-
(She just whacks him in the face and he slides on the floor)
(a complete rando then takes note of some strange happening that is beginning to occur)
Rando Child: the chalk
(our heroes and villains that aren’t Matilda mind you, take note of the freaky chalk moving by itself like this is a spooky ghost movie or something)
(the chalk seems to have a personal vendetta against the Trunchbull however as it begins to write the following)
All kids (except Matilda): Agatha, this is Magnus. Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. Then get out of town. If you don’t, I will get you. I will get you like you got me. That is a promise.
(Matilda then makes the chalk break in two then sends two chalkboard rubbers to strike the Trunchbull like Tie Fighters from Star Wars)
(It’s Super Effective, The wild Trunchbull fainted)
(Everyone then gets a look at this feat)
(The Trunchbull then gets up)
(Our heroes and villains, except the Trunchbull, Matilda and the other kids, prepare to clash)
Sonic: alright you guys, let’s get ready to lock n load
Robotnik: well good luck with winning SONIC!
(Mario then dodges Bowser’s claw and grabs his tail)
Mario: ya might wanna back up kids, this is about to get heavy
(Mario then spins Bowser around until he lets go in such a way to where it sends Bowser through the wall to the outside)
(Sonic and the other good guys and bad guys that aren’t Matilda, Miss Honey, Miss Trunchbull or the other kids go and continue their fight outside)
(while this is happening Miss Trunchbull then grabs some random kid and throws him through the window)
(Matilda manages to use her powers to make him do an unnecessary loop-de-loop and then has him push the Trunchbull onto the globe)
(And while that was happening Mario and friends are umm, still kicking some Heine)
(The children then laugh a whole bunch)
(Matilda then uses those powers to spin spin spin the Trunch, roughly on the globe. Rubbishly rubbishly rubbishly life is like a drink)
(The globe then gets stopped by ol’ Matilda Mc Psychic over here which causes Miss Trunchbull to spin into Miss Honey’s desk)
(everyone then runs over to check on ol’ Trunchie poo over here. Yes this includes the other heroes and villains. You may feel free to ask why but don’t expect satisfying answers darling)
(Miss Trunchbull then gets up all dizzy like and everyone gets outta her way, well except for Lavender)
(Once the Trunchbull regains proper composure she and bowser then decide to start charging at Lavender)
(Matilda then sends Lavender upwards just in time using those sweet sweet powers of hers. Anyone else jealous?)
(Bowser Stops in time but Miss Trunchbull then goes through the door and falls over)
(all the other children in the school then get a good look at ol’ trunchie-o)
(they then throw their lunch at her which in turn makes you wonder what they’re all going to have for lunch, but I digress)
(Miss Trunchbull then runs away like a little coward)
(Camera cuts back to Lavender who is being lowered down by Matilda)
Lavender: woooooow. I didn’t know I could do that
Matilda: pretty cool right?
Sonic: hey, get a load of what’s going on outside
(Camera cuts to Miss Trunchbull getting in the Eggmobile)
(As she starts up the Eggmobile, Bowser Robotnik and the other villains end up being slammed into her. Though the Eggmobile fails to follow physics)
(The villains then make a seemingly cowardly retreat)
(everyone then starts celebrating)
(Matilda, Sonic, Mario and the gang go outside and celebrate with everyone else)
Sonic: and you can consider the world saved
Narrator: but it’s really not been saved
Mario: what do you mean?
Narrator: (chuckles) well, to the surprise of everyone. Miss Trunchbull came back armed with a Shotgun and all the other villains came back in the Death Egg Sonic foreshadowed earlier.
(The Death Egg causes a massive earthquake)
Sonic: WHAT’S HAPPENING?! We need to get some help!
(Bowser then uses his Koopa Clown Car to kidnap Miss Honey and fly off to the Death Egg)
(Robotnik then manages to use a laser to send Mario and Sonic to Angel Island, which is beginning to fall into the Ocean)
Knuckles: Sonic? Mario? How’d you wind up here? And why are there so many Question Mark Boxes everywhere? ROBOTNIK’S MADE OFF WITH THE MASTER EMERALD!
Sonic: well that explains the Death Egg. Well there’s no time Knux, we gotta go get Tails. (to Mario) you go get Luigi and Yoshi!
(Mario Rushes off to the Mushroom Kingdom to get Yoshi and Luigi’s help)
(Sonic and Knuckles then rush off to West Side Island)
(Meanwhile with Luigi and Yoshi in the Mushroom Kingdom, now with added garbage from other universes)
Luigi: Mario? Wherever you are, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLP!
(Mario then shows up via a magic portal)
Mario: sup-a Luigi?
Luigi: MARIO! YOU’RE A-BACK!
Mario: yeah, I’m a-back now lets-a go!
Luigi: where?
Mario: No time, just hop into this a-portal
(Mario, Luigi and Yoshi then jump into a portal that leads back to Crunchem Hall)
(We then see Sonic, Tails and Knuckles reunite with Mario and chums as well as Matilda, Mickey, Rayman, Bugs and The Night Pig)
Mario: alright, Sonic. Do you have a-that Tornado thingie you and-a Tails always fly around in
Sonic: we took it through that portal over there
Night Pig: great, now the rest of us need a car
Mario: I a-know a guy. Let me just ask him if I can borrow his-a car.
Sonic: ok, lets rock and roll
Night Pig: but what about the rest of us slow pokes?
Sonic: oh, um… you can get in that trolley cart over there
(And then most of the other characters with the exception of Tails and Knuckles got into it)
(Sonic then grabs the handle and starts revving towards the Death Egg with Tails and Knuckles following close behind)
(Camera cuts to Mario in Mute City from F-Zero)
(Mario then spots Captain Falcon)
Mario: HEY, CAPTAIN FALCON!
Captain Falcon: oh what now? Are you here to gloat?
Mario: um, no. I need a favour from you.
Captain Falcon: oh umm, sure man. What do ya need?
Mario: I need to borrow the a-Blue Falcon for something
(Captain Falcon then thinks about this)
Mario: I promise you’ll get put into a future project
(Captain Falcon thinks some more)
Captain Falcon: what’s the password?
Mario: (grumbles) (clears throat) “F-Zero is better than a-Super Mario Kart”
Captain Falcon: you are now worthy.
(Mario hops into the Blue Falcon and darts off at great speed towards Matilda’s world)
(Camera cuts to Robotnik and bowser in their vehicles)
Sonic: what up Robuttnik?
(Robotnik then turns around to see what’s going on and finds Sonic and the others that aren’t Mario have caught up with him and bowser)
Robotnik: you again?! How’d you catch up so fast?!
Sonic: isn’t it obvious? It’s in my name, buster!
Robotnik: well you’re too late, me and the others are already in the process of taking over the universe.
Sonic: not if we have anything to say about it!
Narrator: and then the terrain got like really hilly all of a sudden
(The terrain then goes like really hilly all of a sudden which causes the baddies to gain distance away from the goodies)
(Robotnik and Bowser then do an evil laugh)
Narrator: and then a large part of the ground in front of our heroes suddenly disappeared
(That large part of the ground in front of our heroes suddenly disappears but our heroes are able to stop just in time)
(The villains laugh as they get away, taking Miss Honey with them)
Matilda: what are we going to do?
Sonic: I dunno, not all of us are fast, Tails and the tornado alone can’t carry all of us and we don’t even know whose side Night Pig is on (points at the Night Pig)
Night Pig: I’m with you guys
(As our heroes are pondering they begin to hear the sound of the Blue Falcon’s breaks)
Sonic: you guys hear that?
Luigi: Yeah, IT’S THE-A BLUE FALCON!
Night Pig: one second
(Night Pig then runs towards the Blue Falcon)
Matilda: where are you going?
Night Pig: (from a distance) to stop Mario from careening off the cliff!
(The main characters then look at each other with confusion)
(Camera cuts to The Night Pig who is still running towards the Blue Falcon. Under real world circumstances this would be suicide, but it’s ok here because Night Pig is a cartoon character, and thus is specially animated for these situations. So in other words: DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS!)
(Night Pig then stops and gets ready to stop the Blue Falcon by Jumping on it)
(Night Pig then jumps on the Blue Falcon and attaches a Parachute to it in order to slow it down faster)
Mario: WHAT THE… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Night Pig: relax dude, this parachute should hopefully prevent your demise
Mario: hopefully?! Aren’t you like, from the a-future?!
Night Pig: BRACE YOURSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLF!
(The Blue Falcon then stops just short of this pit)
Night Pig: (panting) Phew, that was a close one
Mario: tell me about it. Now everyone that isn’t a Sonic The Hedgehog character, get in here
(They all get in the Blue Falcon)
(Sonic attaches a tow cable to the tornado and the Blue Falcon)
Sonic: alright, lets back it up
(The Blue Falcon then backs up while Knuckles and the Night Pig carry the Tornado)
(The Blue Falcon then revs up as Sonic places a ramp at the end of the Cliff)
(The Blue Falcon then accelerates at speed)
(Sonic runs away from the ramp and then he and Knuckles go to jump off the ramp)
(The heroes then manage by some miracle, to make this big ol’ jump)
(this allows them to keep going on their adventure at supersonic speed)
(Cuts back to the villains, still cruisin to the Death Egg)
Robotnik: I still don’t understand why you went and kidnapped Miss what’s her face here instead of Princess Peach
Bowser: oh you know, I felt like a change of pace
Night Pig: OR IT COULD JUST BE THAT WE FORGOT TO INTRODUCE HER EARLIER IN THE STORY!
(The Bad guys realise that the heroes have miraculously caught up)
Robotnik: OH COME ON! HOW ARE YOU GUYS CATCHING UP THIS QUICKLY (to Sonic) AND DON’T TELL ME IT’S BECAUSE YOU RUN FAST! I ALREADY KNOW!
(Sonic then grins)
Robotnik: well it doesn’t matter. We’ve won
(Robotnik snaps his fingers)
Narrator: and then this big airship shows up and our villains end up going into it
Mario: WHAT THE?
Night Pig: oh yeah, I forgot to mention. I’ve been after the narrator this whole time. This wanted poster for the guy has a HUGE payout. Now I can see why.
Mario: WHY WOULD ANYONE BE AFTER A NARRATOR OF ALL PEOPLE!
Night Pig: oh you know, because he’s the actual mastermind of this whole plot.
Sonic: so what you’re saying is that…
Night Pig: I think the audience get it by now, we don’t need to reiterate for them. Anyway, the Narrator is inside the Death Egg. That’s all I can say for the moment.
Sonic: Tails, revv up the tornado, but first, I gotta collect me some rings
(Sonic then speeds off and collects at least 50 rings while dodging Badniks and Bowser’s Minions along the way)
(He then comes back to the Blue Falcon at blazing speed)
Sonic: alright, who’s got a checkpoint I can borrow?
Knuckles: I got one right here Sonic
(Knuckles then places the checkpoint on the Blue Falcon)
(Sonic then activates the checkpoint which causes a star circle to appear around the top)
Sonic: wish me luck getting that final emerald
Matilda: good luck
(Sonic jumps into the circle and gets sent to the Special Stage from Sonic 2 where he has to get a certain amount of rings before reaching a checkpoint)
(Get 50 rings)
(Stage begins as Sonic has to collect rings and dodge bombs)
(Sonic is able to accomplish this task with relative ease)
(Cool)
(Get 100 Rings)
(Sonic has relative difficulty pulling this task off but is able to come through)
(Cool)
Narrator: umm, and then the Special Stage got like really hard
(Get 15-@#$^)
(GET 999 RINGS BUCKO, ENJOY NOT GETTING THE EMERALD!)
Sonic: uh oh, gotta up my- (gets hit by a bomb and loses a few rings) and prevent that from happening
(The bombs then start coming in rapid fire so Sonic has gotta do a whole lot of jumping with some of the jumps barely dodging the bombs and collecting the rings situated in the holes between the bombs)
(this goes on until Sonic has 998 rings, in which case he manages to accidently jump into one of the bombs, causing the total to go down to 991 rings)
(Sonic almost fails the stage entirely but then by some miracle 9 rings appear and Sonic gets them which nets him 1000 rings, but the counter only goes up to 999 in most video games)
(The Chaos emerald jingle plays as Sonic grabs the final emerald)
(Sonic then gets sent back to the group, but first the camera white fades to a screen which reads the following: SONIC HAS ALL THE CHAOS EMERALDS)
(The text then changes to say: NOW SONIC CAN BE SUPER SONIC)
(Sonic even gets a continue)
(The camera then white fades back to the Blue Falcon)
(Sonic comes back)
Sonic: yo dudes I got the emerald, now all I have to do is grab at least 50 rings and I then it’s transformation time baby! Yo Tails, you revved up the Tornado yet?
Tails: (from the pilot seat) yup, it’s ready
(Sonic hops on the wing, don’t act like you haven’t)
Matilda: shouldn’t you just sit in a seat in the back?
Sonic: Pfffffffth (laughs) a back seat? You’re adorable, you and Mario are with me
(Mario and Matilda then get on the wing too)
(Night Pig then dethatches the Tornado from the Blue Falcon and our 4 Tornado convados fly off toward the Death Egg)
Night Pig: alright I’m gonna jo- uh oh. One second.
(Night Pig then uses a portable time machine to time travel a minute or two later in another area)
(Camera cuts to the Tornado)
Matilda: I still think we should address the safety concerns here, one of us could fall.
Sonic: oh alright we’ll address it. (to the audience) kids, do not hop onto the wings of bi-planes. You could get hurt, this message was brought to you by hindsight. Preventing angry letters from parents since 1957.
(The Tornado then begins to encounter Lakitus and sky badniks)
(The Badniks start firing their weapons while the Lakitus fire spiked balls)
(The Tornado has to do a whole lot of dodging until it eventually gets shot, forcing Mario, Sonic and Matilda to jump into a landing dock in the Death Egg)
Sonic: TAILS, NOOOOOOOOO!
(Our heroes then make a mad dash into the rest of the Death Egg)
(Camera cuts to our villains)
Robotnik: so what do you guys wanna like, do with Miss Honey?
Narrator: well I say we give her a good torturing
Bowser: eh, why not.
(A private alarm goes off to signify that the good guys have intruded)
Narrator: uh oh. Let’s just send Metal Sonic after em.
(Metal then emerges and goes after Sonic and pals)
(The camera cuts to our heroes hiding behind the Death Egg Robot to act as foreshadowing for later)
Sonic: (whispering) alright gang, what are we going to do?
Mario: (whispering) not-a sure, we’ll have to figure out a way past those-a guards
(As Mario and Sonic ponder this, Matilda is able to use her powers to pull a distant lever and open a door which distracts the Koopa and Goomba guards)
(Mario and Sonic then make the obvious realisation that Matilda has powers despite being witnesses to earlier instances of said powers)
Mario/Sonic: (whispering) oh yeeeaaaah. Thanks Matilda. Let’s go
(Our three heroes proceed to enter the door that just opened, walking right past the guards)
(Camera then cuts to an empty area where we see some Motobugs)
(The Motobugs then hear a strange Time transcending noise then a whoosh)
(They go and investigate the corner where it came from)
(we then see a silhouette whoosh across the screen)
Motobug 1: what was that?
Motobug 2: I dunno, keep looking
(The silhouette then whooshes in the other direction and one of the Motobugs is missing)
Motobug 1: what the…
(The whoosh then happens again and this time the other Motobug goes missing)
(The whoosh then stops halfway across the screen to reveal your pal, The Night Pig)
Night Pig: typical evil doers, they always fail to account for me
???: (through a time communicator) yeah, because you technically don’t exist yet you moron!
Night Pig: (into the communicator) c’mon supes lemme have this moment
???: NO! NOW GET BACK TO WOOOOOOORRRRRRK! THE TIMELINE’S STILL ALL BROKEN!
Night Pig: oh alright
(Goes to walk towards the good guys but is stopped when he bumps into Metal Sonic)
(Metal’s eyes begin to glow as he and Night Pig begin fighting)
(the two then take their fight off screen)
(The camera then cuts to Matilda, Mario and Sonic sneaking around searching for the villains)
Sonic: hmmmmm
(Metal and Night Pig then burst through a wall)
Mario: WHAT THE?!
Night Pig: sup, just fighting Metal Sonic at the mo… GAAAAHH!
(Metal Sonic then takes note of our heroes)
(Sonic then smugly grins and gets prepared to fight Metal Sonic)
Sonic: alright, I’m gonna take on Metal by myself, don’t anyone try to help me, you guys go find the rest of the bad guys
Night Pig: eh, your funeral I guess.
(Sonic and Metal then have at it in a fighting way, however it’s different this time because the two seem to be evenly matched this time. Which means Sonic can like, get some hits on Metal Sonic for once as they race across the Death Egg)
(Camera cuts to our two fighting fools as Sonic collects a bunch of rings)
(Metal tries to catch Sonic off guard but our plucky blue boy manages to jump on Metal’s head, causing him to be stunned as Sonic grabs more rings)
(Camera cuts to Sonic still grabbing rings)
Sonic: psst, this is too easy, I’ll be Super in no time.
(Camera then transitions to reveal that ol’ Sonic is being monitored by the bad guys)
Robotnik: heh, lets see you take on my Death Egg Robot!
(Robotnik then goes to get in it)
(Camera cuts back to Sonic running fast; he already has 45 rings by this point)
(He then runs into a seemingly empty room)
(Sonic sees 5 more rings, he goes to get them, but the door they’re behind closes and the door Sonic came in through also closes)
(Sonic then sees a shadow rising from the floor, he looks over and realises that IT’S A TRAP)
Robotnik: hey Sonic, didn’t think you or your friends would get to us without notice did you?
Sonic: DR ROBOTNIK! I SHOULD HAVE FIGURED YOU’D KNOW I WAS HERE!
Robotnik: yes, and guess what. The narrator’s got the other villains after your little friends. Now GET A LOAD OF THIS!
(Robotnik presses an alarm button)
(The Death Egg’s alarm sounds off)
(Camera cuts to the other good guys reacting to this)
Mario: WHAAAAA…
Night Pig: uh oh
(Bowser drops in front of Mario, Matilda and Night Pig)
Bowser: OH, HEY MARIO! YOU WEREN’T LOOKING FOR THAT TEACHER WERE YOU?
(The camera pans to reveal Miss Honey tied up in a chair)
Matilda: MISS HONEY!
(Matilda goes to rescue her but is knocked away by Bowser)
Bowser: well what do ya know kid, your father was right. You’re not even worth a good kidnapping
(Bowser presses a button and sends Miss Honey to another part of The Death Egg)
(Camera cuts back to Sonic and Robotnik)
Robotnik: you see Sonic, it’s over, and we’ve won at last
Sonic: we’ll see about that
(Robotnik then shuts the head of the Death Egg Robot while he’s in it and he activates The Death Egg Robot)
(Sonic then spin dashes and jumps at the Death Egg Robot, getting the hit in the process)
Robotnik: why you… TAKE THIS
(Robotnik then sends out one of the spiked hands a short distance but Sonic dodges)
(the hand retreats)
(Robotnik does the same with the other hand and the same results happen)
Sonic: looks like you’ll have to try harder than that to get me!
(Sonic then bops at the Death Egg Robot 4 more times not realising that Robotnik has opened the entrance to let Metal join the fight)
(after Sonic’s forth bop Metal grabs him by the neck)
Sonic: uh oh
Robotnik: now that’s more like it
(The entrance closes)
(The camera then cuts to Mario fighting Bowser)
Mario: NIGHT PIG, MATILDA! YOU TWO SAVE MISS HONEY, I’M-A GONNA BE HERE A WHILE!
(Night Pig and Matilda then go off to find Miss Honey)
(Camera cuts to Matilda and Night Pig)
Night Pig: alright, see if we can’t find the bad guys on this tracking device I placed on your father earlier
Matilda: why would you want to track my father?
Night Pig: FBO BUSINESS!
Matilda: ok then, whatever helps us find Miss Honey
Night Pig: well she’s on the top floor anyway. C’mon
Matilda: but how are we gonna avoid getting caught?
Night Pig: we don’t gotta worry, with my mastery of the art of stealth and your psychic powers, we’ll be undetectable.
(A lift opens and a few Bob-ombs and Caterkillers emerge as our two heroes hide)
(The baddies get to advance a short distance before they notice the door close)
(The baddies shrug it off and keep moving)
(Camera cuts to Matilda and Night Pig in the lift, with lift music playing)
Narrator: eventually the two made it to the top floor, but little did they realise that when they got there, they were met with umm… Storm Troopers from Star Wars.
Storm Trooper 1: put ya hands in the air where we can see em
(Matilda and Night Pig put their hands in the air where the Storm Troopers can see em)
Night Pig: (whispering to Matilda) this looks like a major pickle, but you know what to do. Distract the Troopers and I’ll bring my two co-conspirators
(Matilda then nods her head, Night Pig leaves the screen and Matilda uses her psychic powers to make a random mouse droid fly in the air)
Storm Trooper 2: th- THAT KID KNOWS THE WAYS OF THE FORCE!
(Matilda stops using her powers and runs away while the Storm Troopers are distracted)
(The Storm Troopers just about see Matilda moving away from them)
Storm Trooper 1: well don’t just stand there. Let’s get her.
(all the Storm Troopers then run after Matilda)
(Camera cuts back to Sonic, who gets flung at the wall so hard he loses all his rings)
Robotnik: don’t you see Sonic? We’ve won! I guess you could say it’s game over for you.
(Sonic goes to grab his rings but they all disappear before he can get them)
(Before Metal Sonic can deal the finishing blow however, Da Jodel Rudel starts playing which throws Metal and Robotnik off)
Robotnik: wha, what’s going on here? SOMEONE FIX THIS NOW!
(Sonic then uses this distraction as an opportunity to escape)
(Robotnik then sees Sonic buzzsawing the door open and escaping)
Robotnik: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, CURSE YOU SPEAKER SYSTEM!
(Camera cuts to Mario fighting Bowser)
(Mario finally gets to grab Bowser by the tail and throw him off a railing)
(Mario runs off to find Night Pig and Matilda)
(Camera pans down to reveal that Bowser hasn’t actually been defeated yet)
(Camera cuts back to Mario running until he bumps into Sonic)
Sonic: oh, it’s just you thank goodness
Mario: have you seen Matilda and the Pig Person on your travels
Sonic: no, but we gotta go find em
(Mario and Sonic then rush off to find Matilda and Night Pig)
(Camera then cuts to Matilda running from the Storm Troopers as they attempt to shoot her. The key word being “attempt”)
(she then reaches a dead end)
(The Storm Troopers then stop just behind her)
Storm Trooper 1: alright boys, lets finally hit something for once in our lives.
(everyone then hears a sort of Laser-ing Noise)
(The camera pans to reveal that a rectangular hole is being created in a wall just left of Matilda)
(The piece of wall then falls down to reveal two silhouettes)
???: alright, who’s evil space station is this anyway? (to Matilda) is it yours kid?
(Matilda shakes her head)
???: good. Because if it was, you’d be for it now (chuckles)
(The two silhouettes then walk out into where Matilda and the Storm Troopers are to reveal themselves as none other than Super Sheep and Hugo “where I Go” the Shape Shifter)
Hugo: so kid, where’s The Night Pig now?
Matilda: getting his two co-conspirators?
Super Sheep: oh, well he just did kid. We’re the ones he was talking about.
Matilda: What?!
Storm Trooper 1: EVERYBODY FIRE!
Super Sheep: whoop, looks like there’s no time for introductions kid, we’ve got fish to fry
(The Storm Troopers then fire their blasters at our 3 heroes)
Hugo: right, that’s it. Kid, take this riot shield
Matilda: what riot shie-
(Hugo turns himself into a riot shield)
(Matilda grabs this riot shield)
Super Sheep: of all the enemies I could be fighting in my big on-screen debut, it had to be guys with really bad aim. Oh well, I’ve clearly expected too much from “The Man That Makes.”
(Super Sheep then starts beating up the Storm Troopers)
(Super Sheep beats all of the Storm Troopers up like the overpowered bunghole that he is, which in effect ruins all tension built up until this very moment because now there are two overpowered characters that could end the story right now. But I’m getting ahead of myself)
Super Sheep: well now that thats out of the way how about introductions. My name is Super Sheep, please don’t tell the Superman of this time that I exist, and this shape shifter you’ve just used as a riot shield is Hugo.
Hugo: yeah, and by the way, OW!
Matilda: well, I’m Matilda
Super Sheep: well fantastic, now that we all know each other, let’s go find that Night Pig shall we?
Matilda: but what about Miss Honey?
Super Sheep: sure, her too
(Our 3 heroes then go off on the search for The Night Pig)
(Camera cuts to Mario and Sonic going up the lift)
Mario: ok, so our action plan is to reunite with Matilda and Night Pig, then go off and fight the-a baddies
Sonic: yup, by the way did you have trouble facing bowser
Mario: only a little bit more than usual, why?
Sonic: I nearly died against Robotnik and Metal Sonic.
Mario: hmmmmmm
(Ding)
(our heroes have reached the top floor to find Night Pig waiting there)
(Night Pig takes note of this and readies himself for action only to realise it’s just Mario and Sonic)
Night Pig: oh, it’s just you guys.
(We then see Matilda show up)
Night Pig: oh hey Matilda. I’m just waiting on my peeps with Mario and Sonic.
Matilda: well I did run into a Sheep and “Shape-Shifter” who seem to know you.
(Super Sheep and Hugo then show up)
Super Sheep: oh there you are Night Pig.
Night Pig: sup supes. How are things in the future?
Hugo: uuh- yeah no- the future’s still rubbish Night Pig
Sonic: ok, now let’s roll. We got a universe to save. But first I’m gonna need some rings.
Super Sheep: sure thing Sonic (Super Sheep reaches into his own back) by the way, has anyone mentioned you look kind of cute in your old design.
Sonic: what do you m-
Super Sheep: you’ll find out in 2 or 3 years. That is if Hugo, Night Pig and I can fix the space time continuum in time.
(Super Sheep finds five 10 ring monitors in his back and brings them out)
(Sonic looks on in confusion)
Sonic: how long have you-
Super Sheep: listen mate, the audience probably won’t bring this up unless we do. So can we please not?
Sonic: sure, whatever makes me able to go super.
(Sonic then breaks all the monitors and gains 50 rings)
Hugo: right-o boys, now that that’s been done, let’s go save the universe… and the future too because lord knows that not enough is at stake in movies these days.
(Our 6 heroes then run off to the main area where the villains are located)
(Camera cuts to the Narrator and Miss Honey in an armchair)
(Our heroes then find them)
Sonic: give it up you, you… you narrating… person?
Narrator: oh Sonic, you and your pals have already lost. (flicks a remote control to show the chaos that’s happening outside. It’s like Sonic Forces, only before that game was ever conceived)
(Our heroes watch on in horror as the world gets taken over)
Matilda: why are you doing this?
Narrator: it’s simple. I’m tired of heroes winning all the time and us narrators just having to tell the tale. We never get enough credit, and neither do the villains. So I figured, why not team myself up with a bunch of villains once I was made aware of the purpose of my existence. And you should know my daughter.
(The narrator spins around to reveal himself as…)
S.S/S.T.H/S.M/T.N.P/M.W/H.T.S.S: HARRY WORMWOOD?!?!
Super Sheep: SO YOU’RE THE GUY THAT RUINED THE UNIVERSE AN… (Thinks about this for a second) YOU’RE NOT HEX MOOTHER!
Harry: that’s right. And as it turns out, my actor was also the director of the Matilda movie as well so yeah, I’m all powerful baby! Oh bowser, Robotnik! Get in here!
(The villains get in here)
Super Sheep: well guys, looks like we’ve got a future fixing frenzy ahead of us
(Our heroes and Harry then start to charge at each other as their fight ends up taking them all over the Death Egg, the villains are following and trying to help Harry by the way. Just sayin)
(The fight takes our characters back to the entrance, except there are like 50,000 Death Egg Robots being activated and then deployed onto the earth to do damage)
Harry: looks like you lot have got nowhere to go except down, and then Super Sheep was given a laser-proof ball and chain so heavy he couldn’t fly away.
(Super Sheep then gets given the ball and chain around his ankle)
(Harry then force pushes our heroes off the edge)
(Most of them fall but the Justice Trio (Super Sheep, The Night Pig and Hugo) linger in the air for a brief period of time, look at the camera and then fall)
(Camera then cuts to our Heroes falling)
Mario: what are we going to do now?!
Super Sheep: well first we’ve got to get this ball and chain off me.
Sonic: there’s only one thing that can help with that
(Sonic prepares to start buzzsawing until Super Sheep springs something on him)
Super Sheep: only the power of Kylie Minogue music can save us now.
Sonic: I’m sorry, what?
(Super Sheep whips a saw out of his back and gives it to Hugo and Night Pig and then proceeds to pull a stereo out so that he can play “Love at First Sight” (2001) by Kylie Minogue. Don’t ask) alright lads, saw away to the beat
(Hugo and Night Pig saw away to the beat until Super Sheep is free)
(The futuristic music stops as Super Sheep swoops everyone up as they all fly down safely to the ground, conveniently enough they land next to Rayman and the gang fighting bad guys, remember them from earlier?)
Mario: Hey guys, we-a came to help.
(Mario and the gang then help Rayman and friends fight bad guys)
Sonic: so as it turns out, the narrator is not only the narrator, but he’s also the ruler of the world. And he’s Matilda’s father.
(Matilda makes a realisation)
Matilda: uh oh, we forgot Miss Honey!
Super Sheep: oops we messed it up baaaaaaaaaad.
Sonic: well it looks like we’ll have to rescue her on the return trip. But first, I’m gonna need all the rings I can get (Sonic rushes off to grab 150 more rings then comes back) alright, this should be enough rings to go Super for a while, now let’s do this.
(Sonic then jumps in the air and then finally turns into Super Sonic)
Super Sonic: right, Mario, Matilda, Sheep guy, Transformo and Night Pig are with me. Everyone else, defeat as many bad guys as you can.
Knuckles: gotcha Sonic. And be sure to grab the Master emerald on the way
Super Sonic: oh, right. Thanks for the reminder knux
Super Sheep: ok then. Everyone that can’t fly, get in my back.
(The non fliers get in Super Sheep’s back; don’t act like it’s not a thing and our 6 heroes’ then fly off to the death egg)
(Sonic of course grabs more airborne rings on the way because when he goes super, he loses one ring per second and once the counter hits zero he turns back to normal)
Super Sheep: right lads. And girl, what is our plan of action?
Super Sonic: we go in, Matilda and I will retrieve Miss Honey and the Master Emerald and then join you guys in kicking some villainous butts.
Hugo: right-o, let’s go do this.
(Our Heroes then fly into the Death Egg where Mario, Super Sheep, Hugo and Night Pig start beating up every henchman they encounter while Super Sonic and Matilda go off to find the Master Emerald)
(The camera focuses on Super Sonic and Matilda flying all the way to the top floor)
(they then find the Master Emerald)
(Robotnik then shows up)
Robotnik: well, well, well. If it isn’t So… oh fiddlesticks you’re Super now.
Super Sonic: umm, yeah. What are you going to do?
(Robotnik then presses a button and Metal Sonic shows up to grab the Master Emerald and carry it off at speed just as Super Sonic turns around)
(Super Sonic then goes off to give chase)
Robotnik: so Wormwood, looks like it’s just you and me. Time to die child! (As Robotnik says this, an army of his Badniks then gang up on Matilda)
(Matilda then proceeds to use her physic powers to break a pipe away from the wall and drop it on the robots before they cotton on to what she’s doing, but don’t worry. Every time a Badnik is destroyed, cute little animals are freed, should really have mentioned that earlier)
Robotnik: WHAAAAT?!
Matilda: what’s the matter, are you confused?
Robotnik: why yes, how’d that pipe break my robots?
(Matilda then runs off to find Miss Honey)
Robotnik: HEY, COME BACK HERE!
(Camera cuts to Metal Sonic with the Master Emerald and Super Sonic still giving chase)
(This goes on until Metal finally sticks the Master Emerald in an advanced version of the Death Egg Robot created specifically for this Movie, we’re calling it the Death Egg Robot Mk S3K)
(This new version of the Robot then Powers up)
(The new Robot then throws its arm in an attempt to crush Super Sonic)
(The Camera cuts to Mario and crew making their way to the top floor)
(When they reach the top floor, the first idiotic thing they idiotically do is rush into Harry’s area like idiots without much of an action plan)
(Camera cuts to Harry sitting in the armchair again)
Super Sheep: STAND DOWN AND CEASE YOUR OPERATION YOU VILE VILLAIN!
Harry: oh yeah, and who’s gonna stop me?
Super Sheep: us of course, because we’re the good guys
Harry: yeah, that would be true. But what if the villain in question is the Narrator
Night Pig: well then all that means is that we’re gonna have to try harder.
(Harry then charges a Hadouken from Street Fighter but our heroes are able to get out of the way in time)
Harry: and then Mario and company all ended up- (Hugo manages to shut his mouth by turning into a sock and wrapping himself around Harry’s mouth. Careful Hugo, you could end up making this Movie go from G/PG to 18 in a millisecond)
(The other members of the gang start beating Harry up until he sends out a shockwave that sends everyone away)
(He then spits the sock out)
Harry: and then our intrepid heroes and the handsome Harry Wormwood got sent to another dimension.
(Our Heroes and Harry then get sent to Hyrule from The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, but reality has in fact gone array)
Mario: wait. What’s going on-a here nooooooooow-a!
Super Sheep: he’s not just taking over Matilda’s universe, but all other universes. I just hope she’s ok.
(Camera cuts to Matilda finding Miss Honey and rescuing her in the Death Egg, the two hug, but before they can make their grand escape, Dr Robotnik shows up)
Robotnik: (sarcastically) oh how wonderful, you two have united once again. (Normal evil tone) Too bad it’ll your last reunion
Miss Honey: wait a minute my good sir. I’m sure we can work this out, I mean…
Robotnik: “I’M SURE WE CAN WORK THIS OUT?!” BAAHHH! Clearly you’ve never played a Sonic game before. Oh well, you’ve had your chance, time for some death
(Robotnik goes to kill Miss Honey and Matilda but Matilda uses her powers to scare Robotnik until Super Sonic burst in through the floor)
Super Sonic: hey, let’s get you two outta here, this part of reality is gonna blow!
(Super Sonic then gets on a walkie talkie)
Super Sonic: (Walkie Talkie) Tails, fire up the Torna… I mean, a plane that has 3 seats. And meet me at the entrance
(Sonic then takes Matilda and Miss Honey off to the entrance)
(Camera cuts to Tails waiting in a 3 seated plane)
(Super Sonic then Shows up and puts Matilda and Miss Honey in the Plane)
(The Death Egg Robot MK S3K and Metal Sonic then show up)
Super Sonic: just go Tails, I’ll catch up
(Tails leaves as Super Sonic charges right for the robot)
(Super Sonic actually manages to land a few hits on the robot until the Death Egg itself starts to explode)
(This then makes the Death Egg Robot Mk S3K send itself, Metal and Super Sonic to Hyrule so that Sonic can conveniently reunite with his other hero friends)
(Super Sonic is then able to defeat The Death Egg Robot MK S3K and retrieve the Master Emerald)
Super Sonic: alright, now to take care of…
(Super form runs out and Sonic goes back to normal)
Sonic: oh right, kind of forgot about that. And Hyrule has no rings as far as I can see
Harry: Metal! Finish them off!
(Metal Sonic then shows up)
Super Sheep: I’ll handle this maniac. I mean besides, he’s just Syntha-Sheep but you know, before The Man That Makes was born to steal the Idea from SEGA.
(Super Sheep then stares Metal down in an almost serious manner that hides his true intentions)
(The camera then cuts to a side view of this staring contest which goes on for an additional five seconds until suddenly Super Sheep grabs Metal Sonic by forcing his arm around Metal Sonic’s Shoulder and Playing the song “My Love” by Justin Timberlake but skipping the first verse. And the Lyrics are adjusted slightly of course)
Super Sheep: I can see us holding hands Walking on the beach, our feet in the sand I can see us on the countryside Sitting on the grass, laying side by side You could be my toaster, let me make you my punch bag, you amaze me Ain’t gotta do nothing crazy See, all I want you to do is be my bag. (He then defeats Metal Sonic in one fell swoop, thus robbing Sonic of a very tense moment. sorry folks)
(Super Sheep then gets a look at everyone’s confused faces)
Super Sheep: what? You guys don’t think I’d actually marry a robot Sonic do you? Or was it the song? In which case you’ll come to love it in about 10 years.
Harry: no, now lemme kill you all already
(The fight between our heroes and Harry then continues until The Night Pig stops the whole thing)
Night Pig: STOOOOOOP! (everyone stops and pays attention) look at us all, what are we even fighting for in the first place? Why has our conflict escalated to all of this universe fusing business? Where did the relations between Narrators and Characters go wrong? Who’s war are we really fighting here?
Harry: WE’RE ALL FIGHTING OUR WAR YOU IDIOT! I mean besides all I ever wanted was to be all powerful.
Night Pig: and you were, until Super Sheep called the Fictional Gods while you were distracted by my garbage excuse for a speech
Harry: wait WHAT?!
(Roald Dahl then show up to arrest Harry Wormwood)
Roald Dahl: WORMWOOD! WHAT DID YOU DO YOU MORON! YOU’RE NO LONGER ALLOWED YOUR POWERS (Roald Dahl then takes Harry’s powers away) Now, Let’s fix the multiverse and end this how it ought to be ended.
(Roald Dahl then fixes the multiverse and sends our heroes back to the Movie Matilda)
(Our Heroes look around at the fixed Matilda world with pride)
Tails: (from off screen) SONIC!
(Tails, Knuckles, Luigi, Yoshi, Matilda and Miss Honey reunite with our heroes)
Sonic: yo Tails! How’d taking care of Matilda and Miss Honey go?
Tails: it went great Sonic
Knuckles: so, where’s the Master Emerald?
Sonic: It’s right here
(Sonic pulls the Master Emerald out of hammer space and gives it back to Knuckles)
Luigi: so what does everyone want to do now?
Super Sheep: well, our work here is done. Hugo, Night Pig. Let’s head home
(The Justice Trio then walk off to go home until…)
Miss Honey: how would you all like to come back to my place for tea?
(The Justice Trio stop)
Super Sheep: did someone say tea? Why not, we might as well fill up before going home.
Sonic: will there be chilli Dogs?
Roald Dahl: sure Sonic, I can make the party if you wish
Miss Honey: well that would be nice
Roald Dahl: hey, it’s the least I could do for my creations, and the guys who helped save the multiverse.
Sonic: so who’s our narrator going to be now?
Roald Dahl: I’ll take care of this. And so Miss Honey was able to move back into her old house, where Matilda and friends were all able to have a huge tea party to celebrate their efforts.
(Camera time fades to the next afternoon at Miss Honey’s old house where all of our heroes are having a huge tea party with all the heroes’ favourite foods)
Matilda: hey Miss Honey, did you know that the heart of a mouse beats at a rate of 650 times a minute.
Mickey: really? (Checks his own heart rate) I should probably go get that checked soon
Matilda: it beats so fast It doesn’t sound like it’s beating at all. More like it’s humming.
Miss Honey: really? Where did you read this?
Matilda: from a book in the library.
(Harry, Zinnia (remember her?) and Mike (remember him) show up in the car as Zinnia gets out)
Zinnia: (To Matilda) right you. Get in the car we’re leaving
Matilda: what?
Zinnia: grab your cookies and milk and let’s get outta here.
Matilda: where are we going?
Zinnia: (as she’s grabbing Matilda) we’re moving to quam.
Harry: yeah, get in the car Malinda
Matilda: Matilda
Harry: whatever
Matilda: but I like my house, I love my school. It isn’t fair.
Super Sheep: don’t worry kid, life’s unfair. But I have it worse because I’m a Sheep who at any moment could be dragged off to become someone else’s din dins.
Harry: yeah, what he said now come on Matilda
Matilda: wait a second, Miss Honey you could adopt me
Night Pig: how?
Matilda: one second guys I have the adoption papers
Zinnia: what?
(Matilda pulls the adoption papers out of her bag to everyone’s surprise)
Zinnia: hey where’d you get those?
Matilda: from a book in the library, I’ve had em since I was old enough to read
Zinnia: are you hearing this harry?
Matilda: all you have to do is sign them
Mike: I’ll be an only child again
Super Sheep: of course the human has a way out of everything
Harry: SHUT UP! I CAN’T THINK WITH ALL THESE SIRENS!
Zinnia: (to Matilda) you’re the only daughter I ever had Matilda, and I never understood you one little bit. Who’s got a pen?
(Zinnia and Harry then start signing the papers)
Roald Dahl: and so, Matilda’s parents did the only decent thing they ever did for their daughter and signed those adoption papers.
(time jump to Harry and Zinnia going into the car and leaving with Michael)
Zinnia: chow
Roald Dahl: and so Harry and Zinnia got away
Night Pig: not on our watch.
Roald Dahl: Quiet you. But Matilda and Miss Honey both got what they always wanted. A loving family (we get a montage of all our heroes hanging around)
(Camera then time jumps to our heroes having to leave to go back to their universes)
Sonic: well Matilda, We’ve gotta go back to our universes.
Super Sheep: and in the case of Me, Hugo and The Night Pig. Back to the future.
Mario: so long Matilda, but I’m-a sure we’ll run into each other again one day.
Roald Dahl: and so our heroes went home to enjoy life now that the multiverse was saved. But a lot has changed since the beginning of the story. Mario and Sonic finally became friends, That Sheep guy and his cronies fixed the future, Matilda was in a nice loving home. Even Oswald became a nicer guy. So yeah, the story’s over kids. Roll the credits
(the credits roll as we see an animated montage of our heroes in their worlds)
(after the credits are over we then see “22 years later” written on the screen)
(We then transition into Quam in the good future where we see the Wormwood’s car get stopped when it crashes into another car)
(We then see the Justice Trio swoop in to survey the damage until they recognise the Wormwood’s car)
Super Sheep: oh hey, look at that. Night Pig, why don’t we pay them a visit.
(Super Sheep then knocks on the car window)
(the car windows roll down to reveal the Wormwoods, still the same age despite the 22 year gap. Eh, must be a fictional universe thing)
Harry: ummm… hey Mr I… wait a second, you three seem familiar
Hugo: I take it you’re The Buckos ol’ Night Pig tried to arrest in order to fix the future?
Zinnia: ummmmm. No?
Night Pig: yeah, nice try Harry, you’re under arrest for nearly destroying the multiverse.
(Camera then cuts to Harry, Zinnia and Mike in jail cells)
Hex Moother: (Off Screen) hey, (camera pans to reveal Hex in a jail cell next to Harry) is this your first time being arrested?
Harry: yeah why?
Hex Moother: welcome to crime school.
(Camera pans to the Justice Trio looking in)
Night Pig: are we sure that Harry and company should be put in the same jail as Hex?
Super Sheep: relax dude, its not like they’re going to team up and escape moments after we say “That’s all Folks.”
Hugo: Speaking of which (pulls in a Looney Tunes Style portal looking thing)
Super Sheep: Th- th- th- th- That’s All Folks. (Proceeds to run away so that Porky Pig can’t sue him into next Thursday)
(End of Film, you can go home now. Oh wait)
Sam Gordon's Media Journal 