Time: 2017
Cast: Rayman (gotta get to Nintendo fast), Julia (she has autism and gets roped into Rayman’s adventure), The Rabbids (BWAAAAAAH), Mario “Jump man” Mario (Rayman’s target), Globox (Rayman’s best friend), Luigi Mario (Still Mario’s Brother), Agent Ed (straight outta Tonic Trouble), Roddy St James (because flushed away), Rita (the sewer rat), Shadow the hedgehog (the ultimate life form), Zavok (The leader of the Deadly Six), Chaos Zero (the mutated Chao made out of water who does more here than he does in forces), Metal Sonic (Dr Eggman’s Ultimate Robot), Elmo (gotta Sesame Street fast), Big Bird (a giant yellow bird), Murfy (See you in Rayman 4), Lego Batman (best batman), Spiderman (does whatever a spider can), Bomber-man (mass destruction across the land), Dark Rayman (it’s all in the name dude), Lightning McQueen (Ka-chow), Jackson Storm (Faster than Lightning), Smash Bros announcer (he does announcing things), Darrell Cartrip (he’s from the Cars trilogy), Star Lord (and the quest for the cameo appearance), Honeydew (a random YouTube reference most people won’t understand) Super Sheep (the high flying Sheep guy), Jazz Jackrabbit (very obscure video game character), Smokey (has the best dang garage in all of Thomasville), Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (still pre-dates Mickey by the way), Matilda Wormwood (Because Matilda 64), Casey Newton (Because Super Tomorrow 3D Land), Ladybug (why not right), Cat Noir (catastrophic puns), The Night Pig (The pig of the dang night), Hugo the Shape-Shifter (he’s done so much shape-shifting even he doesn’t know what his base form is anymore)
(January 2017)
(The camera pans into the Ubisoft building where in goes into the basement where we see Rayman, Globox and Ed from Tonic Trouble)
Rayman: well Ed, I failed again
Ed: let me guess, Ubisoft rejected your Ideas for a brand new Rayman game in favour of yet another Assassins Creed game.
Rayman: yep, pretty much.
Ed: I gotta ask you, why you haven’t given up yet?
Rayman: because… well… I just have to keep trying or else I could end up being stuck in the basement forever
Ed: you think you got problems? I only ever had like 2 games but even then one of them wasn’t even released worldwide! I was going to have a sequel called Tonic Adventure, but then it got cancelled because I was “too unpopular”
Rayman: I can think of a few other reasons
Ed: Really? You’re gonna suggest They Ripped off the title for so… (pause) actually that does sound plausible.
Rayman: now if you excuse me, I’m going to try and get Ubisoft to make a brand new Rayman game again
Globox: go get em tiger
(Rayman exits the basement to do the thing stated above)
(Cuts to a montage of Rayman trying to convince Ubisoft to make a new Rayman game but constantly getting rejected)
(Cut to black)
(Fade from black where we see Rayman 5 months later getting thrown back into the basement with a letter following afterwards and then the door closes)
Rayman: well, at least I can say I tried. Now I gotta read this dang letter (Rayman starts reading the letter) “dear Rayman, we at Ubisoft cannot make any Rayman games because we’re busy doing another assassins creed…” typical Ubisoft “…and we’re working on a project involving Rabbids and Mario.” WAIT WHAT!? A CROSSOVER STARING THE RABBIDS AND MARIO!
Ed: boy, talk about a low blow.
Rayman: well there’s only one thing for me to do now.
Ed: what’s that Rayman?
Rayman: I’m gonna go over to Nintendo and annihilate the Mario Bros.
Ed: WHOA BRO! Does that not seem a bit like overkill to you?
Globox: you took the words right out of my mouth Ed (to Rayman) dude, just wait until they decide to make a new Rayman game. That’s what the Beyond Good and Evil guys did
Rayman: yeah but look at how that’s turning out
Globox: (thinks about it for a second) ok you have a good point but I’m staying here
Rayman: suit yourself buddy
(Rayman storms out of the basement)
Rayman: I’M COMING FOR YOU MARIO!
(Rayman dashes out of the building)
(After we see Rayman run right off the screen we fade to a broken bridge way where the movie’s title shows up)
(Rayman stops at this bridge way and notices the title)
Rayman: well now we’re getting somewhere, don’t know who this “Julia” is but, I’m sure she won’t be much of a bother.
(Rayman then brings the title down so that it can act like a bridge)
(Rayman crosses the bridge and keeps going)
(We cut to Japan where we see the Nintendo headquarters)
(We pan into Nintendo and across all the developers hard at work until we go into Mario’s office where we see Mario and Luigi gazing out the window)
(The Phone Rings)
(Mario picks it up)
Mario: hello welcome to Nintendo this is a-Mario Speaking how can we a-help you?
Ubisoft Executive (on the phone): well we should warn you that we saw Rayman storm out of our offices saying something about coming after you.
Mario: oh, is this about that “Mario and Rabbids: Kingdom Battle” game?
Ubisoft Executive: most likely
Mario: well a-thanks for the advanced a-warning. (Puts down the phone) well now what are we gonna do?
Luigi: well Mario, there’s only one thing a-to do now. (Dramatic pause) we gotta stop a-Rayman from getting here
Mario: good a-plan, let’s-a make a-some calls
(We fade back to Rayman, still on course toward Nintendo)
(We then see a cross-road where the signpost which has Sesame Street pointing right and Nintendo pointing left and in front of that sign we see Sonic waiting there)
Rayman: what the heck? S-S-S-Sonic?
Sonic: that’s right, I’m gonna stop you from making it to Nintendo
Rayman: well if you want to stop me, you’re going to have to catch me
(Rayman goes to the left)
(When Rayman goes to the left sonic reveals the truth by spinning the sign so that it tells travellers the truth)
Sonic: (to the audience) what a moron, alright I’m gonna go “stop” him so that he doesn’t get suspicious. (Sonic dashes off in Rayman’s direction)
(Cuts back to Rayman who is still running)
Rayman: that’s odd, why is sonic not chasing me?
(Rayman sees Sonic coming up fast)
Rayman: ok, now he’s chasing me
(Rayman and Sonic start fighting while continuing on the path)
(The two keep fighting for a while until Rayman defeats Sonic only for Rayman to get kicked into the warp pipe from Mario bros by Sonic)
Sonic: heh, jokes on you Rayman (Speeds back to Nintendo)
(Fades to Rayman coming out of the other side of the pipe)
(Rayman has a wave of realisation)
Rayman: hey wait a minute
(The pipe goes down)
(Rayman tries to go in it but hits the ground face first)
Rayman: dang it, might as well explore this place
(Rayman explores this place only to find out he’s in Sesame Street)
Rayman: OOOOOHHH COME ON! WHY HERE?! WHY NOW!?
(The Sesame Street gang then show up wearing backpacks and carrying suitcases)
Rayman: alright hold on one second, what’s with the backpacks? And where are you going?
Big Bird: oh hi Rayman, We’re going on a tour around the world to learn about different cultures, you want to come with us?
Rayman: (sarcastically) sure why not
Big Bird: that’s terrific, why don’t you pair up with Julia
Rayman: Who?
(Camera pans to Julia)
Rayman: you’re kidding right?
Big Bird: well you said you wanted to go on this trip
Rayman: actually my tall yellow friend I’m just trying to get to Japan pronto and I took a wrong turn and ended up here
Elmo: oh it’s OK Rayman; Elmo knows that one of our stops is Japan.
Rayman: (sarcastically) well isn’t that terrific
Big Bird: Before we go Rayman we just want to tell you that our new friend Julia has Autism
Rayman: (sarcastically) well isn’t that fu… (Stops being sarcastic) wait what?
Elmo: Julia does things just a little differently
Rayman: am I hearing things?
Big Bird: Just remember not all people with autism act like Julia does
Rayman: well how does Julia act?
Big Bird: Julia might not answer you right away, so it’s a good idea to use fewer words and wait a little bit. It’s not that she doesn’t like you or anything; it’s just that she needs time to respond
(Everyone except Rayman and Julia Leave the screen)
Rayman: (whispering) what do I do? I gotta get out of this situation somehow
Julia: world tour, world tour.
Rayman: so you must be Julia, the same Julia that was referred to in the title, my names Rayman.
(No response)
Rayman: hi Julia, I’m Rayman
(Still no response)
(Rayman gets a bit annoyed)
Rayman: hi Julia, I’m Rayman
(Once again no response)
(Rayman does the sonic waiting pose)
(Murfy flies down to check on Rayman)
Murfy: hey Rayman.
Rayman: (Relieved) oh thank goodness it’s you Murfy. Listen, I just took a wrong turn at this crossroad and now I’m taking care of some snot nosed Sesame Street character, and talking to her is like talking to a brick wall.
Murfy: well good luck with that. Have fun reliving Rayman Jr and Rayman activity centre, See you in Rayman 4
(Murfy flies off)
Rayman: no no no wait, DON’T LEAVE ME HERE WITH HER! PLEASE JUST PUT ME BACK ON TRACK TO NINTENDO, I’M IN EDUTAINMENT HELL, MY CREDIBILITY IS DROPPING BY THE SECOND AND I’M BECOMING ONE OF THOSE CHARACTEEEEEEERS!
Julia: Rayman
Rayman: yes kid, my name is indeed Rayman now let’s go. (Rayman’s brain): well at least we have a convenient front for our Nintendo ruining plan.
(Rayman and Julia go and start their incredible adventure)
(The camera pans out and transitions to Shadow’s TV where we see him, Zavok, Metal Sonic and Chaos Zero watching the show)
Shadow: something seems off about this
(Doorbell rings)
Zavok: I’ll get it
(Zavok opens the door to find Mario)
Mario: (kind of intimidated) Hey Zavok, shadow, Metal sonic. Oh and chaos too. I just a-wanted to tell you that Rayman is a-possibly trying to kidnap and/or kill me so could you a-by any chance be a thorn in his a-backside?
Shadow: we’ll do it.
Mario: Really?
Metal Sonic: yes, we just saw Rayman invite himself onto a world tour.
Shadow: he’s possibly using this tour as a front to hide his scheme.
Mario: well go get him and any possible accomplices.
(Shadow and friends go off to get Rayman)
Mario: well that was easier than expected
(Fades back to our two title characters walking towards the airport while Rayman reads the script for this movie)
Rayman: Man, this script is terrible, who even writes this garbage? Why would they stick me with a character from Stupid Street? I bet you a rap song worth about 50 cents that the audience have already predicted how this rubbish is going to turn out. And these jokes, oh boy these jokes are terrible. there’s Too much reliance on Meta humour and self deprecation I’d say.
Julia: airport.
Rayman: yeah and we’re going to the airport
Julia: Elmo
Rayman: Elmo? What are you mentioning Elmo for? What is he like one of your best friends or something?
Julia: best friends, yes
Rayman: (Mumbling to himself) why did the writer pair me up with her?
(Our heroes arrive at the airport)
Rayman: so where is our first destination (mumbling) not that I particularly care.
Julia: London
Rayman: London? Really?
Julia: yes
Rayman: well when do we go to Japan little miss smarty pants!
Julia: Japan last
Rayman: (sarcastically) well gee whizz isn’t that spectacular
Shadow: YOU!
Rayman: what the… Shadow? Zavok? Metal Sonic and Chaos? What do you guys want with me?
Metal Sonic: YOU GUYS! MY SCANNERS INDICATE THAT THE CAST OF SESAME STREET ARE HERE TOO!
(Shadow, Zavok, Chaos and Metal Sonic start screaming like they saw the ultimate crossover)
Shadow: I can’t believe we’re in the same room as the gang from Sesame Street!
Big Bird: I take it you really like our show
Rayman: you do realise who that show’s primary audience is right shadow?
Zavok: we don’t care though
Rayman: and why don’t you care?
Metal sonic: we own all the DVDs, have read all the books and own all the merchandise
Rayman: I’ll be one second
(Rayman goes off screen, bangs his head against the wall and then comes back)
Rayman: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!
Shadow: no we’re not kidding you, now prepare to be destro…
Rayman: aaaaaaaand done.
Shadow: wait what did you just do?
Rayman: I just uploaded a video of you guys admitting your obsession with Sesame Street.
(Shadow pulls out his pistol)
Shadow: ok first off, how did you upload a video so fast? Secondly, where was the camera? And finally, when did you get so smug? Not that any of that matters because I’m gonna put a bullet hole in your head
Rayman: (sarcastically) oh I’m so scared
Shadow: PSYCH, chaos control!
(Shadow teleports away)
Zavok: (angrily) you’ll pay for revealing our secret online. See you around, limbless.
(Zavok, Metal sonic and Chaos Zero all walk off screen)
Rayman: hang on, that’s not right. Let me check the script.
(Rayman checks the script)
Rayman: my goodness, this script is still terrible
Airport announcer: gate 45 is open for flight 78 to London
Big Bird: we gotta get going
(Cuts to a montage of a plane flying to London)
(Plane lands in London)
Elmo: alright everybody, let’s go on an adventure
(Julia goes to follow the others but is stopped by Rayman)
Rayman: (to Julia) You. (Pause) you’re coming with me
(Rayman and Julia separate from the group)
(Fades to our title characters roaming the streets of London)
Rayman: So since you’re a kid, what’s your favourite toy?
(no response)
Rayman: (mumbling to himself) oh yeah, I forgot I have to use fewer words. (To Julia) what’s your favourite toy?
Julia: Fluffster
Rayman: who’s “Fluffster?”
(Julia gets out Fluffster who is a brown stuffed rabbit)
(Rayman pulls a shocked expression and we then transition into Rayman’s head where we see a mental depiction of Fluffster acting like a Rabbid then we transition back out of his head)
| With this face |
Rayman: YOOOOOOOU!
(Rayman just kind of stands there)
Rayman: (deep breath) keep it together man
(Our heroes just keep going until they reach Kensington)
Rayman: hey kid, I know someone rich who could get us to Japan.
Julia: Japan last
Rayman: come on kid I got my own problems that need solving A.S.A.P and I need you to be my surrogate sidekick right now.
Julia: be a sidekick, yes
Rayman: (relieved) thank you
(Rayman knocks on Roddy’s door but when the door opens no one is in there)
(Rayman and Julia both share a confused glance)
Lego Batman: (from behind them) sup dudes, Batman here and I’m gonna stop you.
(Rayman and Julia look at each other then back at Lego Batman)
Rayman: (bursts into laughter)
Lego Batman: What’s so funny limbless?
Rayman: you think you can defeat us? Look at the size of you Shorty.
Lego Batman: nope, still don’t get it.
Rayman: I could squash you with my foot
Lego Batman: hang on, let me just… (Bursts out two mini mushrooms and uses them to shrink Rayman and Julia to his size) go ahead limbless, try squashing me with your foot now!
Rayman: how? We’re tiny.
Lego Batman: exactly, now I’m gonna kick your butts
Julia: no fight
Lego Batman: too bad kid, you chose the wrong side
(Lego Batman starts to kick their butts into the house)
Rayman: let me guess, did Mario sent you too?
Lego Batman: yeah, he did, and guess what limbless.
Rayman: what is it now batman? Did he put a bounty on my head?
Lego Batman: (pulls a shocked expression but then realises what must have happened) you read ahead in the script didn’t you?
Rayman: yup
Lego Batman: alright back to fighting (Rayman and Lego Batman fight one another)
(Lego Batman throws his batarangs at both Rayman and Julia)
Rayman: wait, why are you going after her, she’s literally not throwing a punch your way.
Lego Batman: she might not throw punches now, but sooner or later she could destroy me when I least expe… (Rayman uses a long distance punch on Batman then he and Julia bolt it to the bathroom) oh now you’ve gone and done it (Lego Batman comes after our heroes)
Rayman: you’re gonna have to try harder than that bricksy bats.
Lego Batman: oh really now? (Grabs a bunch of Lego bricks and builds the Scuttler from his movie) come at me bro
(Rayman stands there for a bit then pulls one of the pieces off)
Lego Batman: what are you doing?
Rayman: hey kid, we gotta build a staircase, c’mon
(Rayman and Julia then break the Scuttler and reuse the pieces to build a staircase to the top of the toilet then hop on it)
Rayman: excellent job kid, now we have to figure out a way to get back to our normal size
Lego Batman: oh no you don’t limbless (Lego Batman then takes the staircase breaking the pieces as he ascends)
(Rayman and Julia make it up just in time but so does Lego Batman)
Rayman: wait Batman, what is the bounty on my head anyway?
Lego Batman: (stops advancing on our heroes) wait, let me get this straight, you read far enough ahead to know that there is a bounty on your head, but not enough to know the amount its worth?
Rayman: you got it
Lego Batman: here’s this wanted poster I have (Lego Batman shows our heroes the wanted poster of Rayman which is worth £4500,000 and 78p)
Rayman: holy cow, I’m worth that much?
Lego Batman: yeah, and these posters have been mass produced and sent to different worlds by Mario, so don’t think your safe.
(Lego Batman then kicks our two heroes into the toilet)
Lego Batman: but lucky you, I’m already super rich so I don’t really need the money being honest so I’m gonna flush you down the drain.
Rayman: no wait batman, don’t you know the kid has autism?
Lego Batman: no matter what you or your friend say, it’s still not gonna change anything limbless.
Julia: no flush no flush
Lego Batman: too bad, you’re going down
(Lego Batman flushes them down the loo)
Rayman: NOOOOOOOO (bubble noises)
(And so our heroes go down the toilet till they reach the sewers)
Rayman: ouch. Hey kid, you think we can find my respect for Ubisoft down here? (Realises Julia won’t get it) ah you wouldn’t get it anyway kid lets go.
(Our heroes travel the dark sewer until they find the entrance to Ratropolis)
Julia: way out, Yay
(Rayman and Julia both run into the pipe only for Julia to fall into Ratropolis while Rayman just uses his helicopter hair to glide down safely)
Rayman: you know kid if you had helicopter hair like me you could fall from any height you want. But you don’t, so you can’t. Now let’s go
(Rayman and Julia then go searching for Roddy for a while until they find the Jammy Dodger Mark 2)
Rayman: hey kid, you think either of the Jammy Dodger boats are sponsored by the company that makes real Jammy Dodgers? (Rayman waits for Julia to respond to his joke) ah forget it.
(Roddy and Rita show up)
Rayman: oh hi Roddy, you think you and Rita can help us get to Japan?
Roddy: well that depends
Rayman: on what exactly my mousy friend?
Rita: it depends on if you have a good reason on why we shouldn’t turn you in
Rayman: errrrrrm… the money Mario’s paying you, I’ll double it. What more could you want?
(No response)
Rayman: and I’ll help you start a petition for a Flushed Away sequel
Rita/Roddy: deal
Rita: but the Jammy dodger mark 2 only has enough fuel to get you two under the airport so hang on (Rita then presses the button that makes the Jammy Dodger Mark 2 go at its top speed then it races off until we go underneath London City Airport)
Rita: well, this is our stop
Rayman: in the words of a certain demigod I know, “what can I say except you’re welcome.” Bye then
(Rayman and Julia enter a warp pipe to London City Airport)
(Cuts to London City Airport)
(Our heroes come out of the warp pipe then grow back to normal size using Mario’s Mushrooms)
(Rayman smells himself)
Rayman: Yeeeesh, how doe’s Mario do this in every game?
(Rayman sees Shadow the Hedgehog then hides himself and Julia from his sight)
Rayman: (whispering) ok kid, here’s the deal. The reason I want to go to Japan is because that’s where Nintendo headquarters is situated, if we can get to Nintendo you might be able to get a tour of the company while I take care of… (pause) …Important business. But we gotta be quiet and keep a low profile ok?
(Our heroes then try and sneak past Shadow the Hedgehog)
(lots of noise ends up overwhelming Julia)
Julia: Noise, Noise!
Rayman: Shush kid, you’re gonna get us in trouble
(Shadow then notices our heroes)
Rayman: oh no not again
Shadow: well well well, if it isn’t the limbless “legend” who couldn’t even keep a low profile at an airport. Pathetic
Rayman: oh great, now I have to fight you in order to not miss my flight to Japan
Shadow: very well, come at me limbless. Just keep Julia out of this.
Rayman: ummmmmmm, ok then?
(Rayman and Shadow end up having an epic fight)
(Shadow Uses Chaos Control in order to catch Rayman off guard)
(Shadow appears behind Rayman and gives him a roundhouse kick)
Rayman: right that’s it, I’m gonna press this button
(Rayman presses a random button with a smug look on his face)
Shadow: is that all you got? I could press buttons with a smug face an- there’s an anvil above my head isn’t there?
(Camera shows Anvy the Anvil)
Rayman: dag nabbit, gigs up Anvy
Anvy the Anvil: aw maaaaaaaan.
Shadow: you think I haven’t seen enough cartoons to see this played out cliché coming? Pathetic
(Shadow charges up a Spin dash but gets interrupted by Rayman punching him into a pile of bricks)
Shadow: ok first off, nice punching skills, I did not see that coming, secondly, Ouch! And finally, what the heck we’re you thinking?
Rayman: whoa shadow, where’s your more “edgy” vocabulary?
Shadow: well you know, they’re forcing me to censor myself in a desperate attempt to keep the rating below 12A/PG-13.
Rayman: and yet they’re letting you keep the realistic weapons and the gratuitous violence and on top of that allowing me to say the word “hell” earlier?
Shadow: I know right?! Now back to killing you (Shadow homing attacks Rayman)
Rayman: well shadow Julia and I would love to stay and chat but we got places to be, business to attend to and, you know, all that jazz.
(Rayman and Julia end up running from shadow)
Shadow: hey come back here “limbless.”
(Shadow gives chase)
(Camera cuts back to Rayman and Julia running some more)
Rayman: we gotta find the gate that leads us to Japan.
(Shadow shows up)
Shadow: not on my watch buddy!
Rayman: what is your problem shadow?
(Shadow pulls the greatest face ever conceived)
Rayman: bye then
(Rayman and Julia dart off to the nearest gate hoping to get to Japan)
Shadow: this isn’t over yet
(Camera cuts to our heroes in the plane)
Rayman: well kid, hopefully we can finally get to Japan
Airplane Captain: good afternoon passengers this is your captain speaking, welcome to galaxy air we will be taking you to New York City
Rayman: oh no there’s been a mistake
(Before Rayman can leave the plane the seatbelts force themselves on everyone)
Rayman: what the heck? Since when did seatbelts start forcing themselves on to people?
Airplane Captain: and before takeoff we would like to thank “Auto-seatbelts.com/Ray-stoppers” for providing the new automatic seatbelt technology you see before you.
Rayman: GRRR CURSE YOU “AUTO-SEATBELTS.COM/RAY-STOPPERS!”
(Cuts to a montage of the plane flying until we see our heroes outside one of the New York City airports)
(Big Bird and the Sesame Street gang walk by and stop in front of our heroes)
Rayman: wait let me get this straight Elmo, so your world tour has thus far taken you from The U.S to the U.K then back to the U.S?
Elmo: yes
Big Bird: come on guys lets go
Rayman: oh fine, let’s go do this
(Spiderman then shows up out of nowhere)
Spiderman: hey everybody, friendly neighbourhood Spiderman here, and there’s a criminal amongst you
Big Bird: really, where is the criminal Spidy?
Spiderman: he’s the one with no limbs thats kidnapping you’re friend right now.
(Rayman stops shocked then turns around)
Rayman: errrrrrrrm, a-se-a-se-a-se-a-se-a… WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE KID!
(Rayman books it taking Julia with him)
Spiderman: hey get back here Mr.
(Spiderman gives chase to our heroes)
(Camera cuts to Rayman running with Julia in hand)
Rayman: I still don’t understand, why is everyone suddenly out to get me? How many wanted posters did they put up?
(Spiderman then shows up in front of our protagonists)
Spiderman: stop right there criminal scum
Rayman: but Spiderman, what is going on here? Why do you of all people need the money provided by stopping me? Are you not getting paid enough money from you’re current movie gig with Marvel and Disney in shared custody with Sony?
Spiderman: because I want to help keep the world safe and wi-
Rayman: “with great power comes great responsibilities” we get it can we please hurry up and get to the exciting fight scene
Spiderman: oh thats it buddy you’re coming with me
(Spiderman tries to entangle Rayman in his web but misses)
Rayman: ha, you missed
Spiderman: (sarcastically) oh no, how will I ever defeat such a powerful opponent (non sarcastically) hey I know (Spiderman uses the Taser web from Homecoming to shock Rayman)
Rayman: ouch
Spiderman: well that should be you taken care of, have fun in jail punk. Now to take this kid back to her friends, Spiderman style
(Spiderman swings off taking Julia with him)
Rayman: oh no, what am I gonna do? Without Julia I won’t get to destroy Mario. Then again I won’t be able to do much better with Julia either but I might as well save her because this movie is suppose to be called “The Misadventures of Rayman and Julia” for a reason
(Rayman then gives chase to Spiderman then realises that he will never catch Spiderman on foot)
Rayman: TAXI!
(A taxi stops and Rayman gets in)
Rayman: quickly, follow Spiderman if you can find him dude
Taxi driver: oh alright dude don’t get ahead of yourself.
(Taxi drives off to find and follow Spiderman)
(Camera cuts to Spiderman still swinging around New York City)
(Spiderman notices that this taxi has started to follow him)
Spiderman: Rayman just doesn’t know when to give up does he, hang on kid I gotta put you down so that I can fight Rayman
(Spiderman then stops swinging then he drops to the ground and puts Julia down)
(The taxi then stops a short distance away from Spiderman Then Rayman gets out of the taxi)
Taxi driver: hey buddy ya gonna pay me?
Rayman: oh right, let me just… (Rayman finds $5 on the ground and gives it to the Taxi driver) (To Spiderman) Alright you, let me and my friend go on our adventure and we might be able to help you in Avengers Infinity war. Or at least I will considering the fact that this kid comes from Sesame Street and let’s face it, no one from that show would survive you’re little Infinity War.
Spiderman: no chance Rayman, I’m gonna kick your butt, send you to jail and get the reward money.
Rayman: even if you do throw me in jail what would you do with the extra money? The only reason I want to go to Japan is because I want to eerr talk things out with the Mario brothers about doing a Mario and Rayman crossover.
Spiderman: yeah right.
Rayman: But I just want Ubisoft to make Rayman games more often thats all, and maybe at least a cameo role in Mario and Rabbids Kingdom Battle can help me get that wish.
Spiderman: so you’re doing all this for the sake of being featured in more games? For the sake of possibly being forced to reboot the franchise over and over again. And just for the record, I’d use the reward money to get myself some therapy.
Rayman: therapy? Why do you need therapy?
Spiderman: well you know how Uncle Ben has died in different movies and comics for the sake of the origin story getting retold again?
Rayman: yeah why?
Spiderman: well I’ve witnessed the death of Uncle Ben so many times across different versions of my origin story that I’ve grown kind of meh to it and I need therapy to overcome the meh-ness.
Rayman: wow, that’s dark. I’m sorry dude. But you’re not gonna stop me from chasing my dreams, come on kid lets go.
Spiderman: oh no you don’t Rayman
(Spiderman swings to the front of Rayman to block his way)
Rayman: well you asked for it, time for some spider clobbering, hey kid, how are you’re listening skills? Because I’m gonna need you to do exactly as I say ok?
Julia: ok
Rayman: for now I need you to not do anything, just follow me around
(And so Rayman starts fighting Spiderman in an epic fight scene)
(Spiderman tries to use his web shooters to catch Rayman off guard but Rayman keeps hiding behind random objects)
(Rayman then tires throwing punches Spiderman’s way but Spiderman’s Spidy sense kicks in and allows him to dodge all the punches)
Rayman: curses, I forgot he has Spidy sense.
(Rayman has a good long think about what he’s going to do next then he gets a brilliant idea)
Rayman: hey kid, Catch.
(Rayman throws a tube of bubbles and Julia catches it)
Julia: bubbles
Rayman: that’s right kid, blow as many bubbles as you can, I think Spiderman would love to pop some bubbles
(Julia blows lots of bubbles of various sizes toward Spiderman)
Spiderman: why are you telling the kid that blowing bubbles is gonna help you?
Rayman: well you see Spiderman I just wanted to let the kid have a little fun, now go ahead and pop some bubbles will ya.
Spiderman: umm, really? (Suspiciously) Ok then
(Spiderman attempts to pop the bubbles but then Rayman shoots a plunger at Spiderman’s face)
Spiderman: (Muffled) what the heck dude, why did you shoot a plunger at my face?
(Spiderman tries to get that plunger off his face but Rayman throws a bunch of punches Spiderman’s way)
Rayman: kid, you gotta help get the plunger off Spiderman.
(Spiderman gets the plunger off his face with the help of Julia but gets himself launched by Rayman’s wound up fist)
Rayman: night night Spider-boy, come on kid we gotta get going
(Our heroes start walking to reunite with the others)
(Julia looks behind her)
Julia: peek-a-boo
Rayman: “Peek-a-boo?” who are you playing peek-a-boo wi- (Rayman then notices a bomb heading their way) WATCH OUT KID! (Rayman gets himself and Julia out of range just before the bomb explodes) nice save kid, we would have exploded had you not pointed out that incoming bomb.
Julia: boing, boing, boing, boing.
Rayman: what is going on here? The only person I know that uses bombs as weapons is…
???: Hey Rayman my old “buddy!”
Rayman: you?!
(Bomber-man exits the shadows for the sake of some dramatic reveal)
Bomber-man: that’s right Rayman, it’s me. That really cool dude no airport would let past the security.
Rayman: whoa be careful Bomber-man, I don’t think today’s mass audience would appreciate that joke considering rec…
Bomber-man: oh boo-hoo Rayman I’m gonna get you and claim my reward money so that I can bribe Konami to give my rights to a better company. Don’t get me wrong, “Super Bomber-man R” was a good game but I want someone else to make my games dag nabbit.
(And so Bomber-man and Rayman start fighting across New York City)
Bomber-man: hey Rayman! Here come my awesome bombs
(Bomber-man gets out a bomb, shakes it until it doubles in size then throws it at Rayman)
(Rayman dodges the explosion)
Rayman: ha, you missed
Bomber-man: have I Rayman?
Rayman: what do you mean by that?
(Turns out that the explosion had defied all science and flipped a switch which made a crane drop a heavy box that contained lots of dynamite)
(Rayman notices the shadow of this box and gets out of the way as the box hits the ground with such an impact that it forces Bomber-man and Rayman to bounce up once then fall back on to the ground again)
(Bomber-man throws lots of bombs so fast that it only takes two frames of animation to throw one bomb)
Bomber-man: have fun exploding Rayman
(Bomber-man escapes)
(Rayman then gets back up, realises what’s about to happen then high tails it out of there before all the bombs and dynamite can explode)
(The bombs then explode thus causing a big explosion which destroys a bunch of buildings)
Rayman: wow that was close, and ouch that hurt quite a lot. Welp, time to head on back to meet “the gang.”
(Rayman walks off to reunite with his temporary gang)
(Camera fades to the gang from Sesame Street at the airport)
(Rayman comes on screen)
Big Bird: what happened to you?
Rayman: let’s just say stuff went boom and a spider has now gone night night now let’s get going.
Big Bird: well alright then let’s go everybody
(Police officer shows up)
Police officer: hey before you leave we have to arrest Rayman on charges of kidnapping and assault on our local Super hero Spiderman
(We see Rayman in disguise with a moustache)
Rayman: errrrrrm, he’s over there
(Camera pans to Dark Rayman listening to random music)
(Police officer then goes over to arrest Dark Rayman)
Dark Rayman: oh hey officer how’s li- (now getting arrested) hey wait what’s going on what are you doing?
Police officer: you’re under arrest for beating up Spiderman and kidnapping children
Dark Rayman: but I didn’t do either of those things, you got the wrong Rayman! It was the other me I tell ya, THE OTHER MEEEEE!
(Dark Rayman is then taken off screen)
(Rayman gets out of the disguise)
Rayman: right, lets get going already
(The gang then go off to Scotland)
(Camera fades to the gang in Scotland during the evening)
Rayman: wait a second, why did we not just go to Scotland after the U.K?
Elmo: huh, we never thought about that.
Big Bird: alright gang, lets g- (Realises that Rayman and Julia have disappeared) where did Rayman and Julia go?
(Cuts to Rayman and Julia walking)
Rayman: well kid, I just had a brilliant idea, if I can’t get to Mario in Japan right now, then I can find an event that Mario usually participates in and dest- talk things out with him there instead and arrange a tour of Nintendo for you when you do get to Japan. But what event to choose?
(Rayman and Julia stop to have a think about what events Mario usually participates in)
(Julia notices a poster for a racing event)
Julia: vroom vroom
Rayman: why are you making car no- (sudden moment of realisation) why did I not think of that before? But where are we gonna find a racing event in Scotland?
(Julia points at the poster)
Rayman: hey I recognise that poster. That’s the poster for the Amazing Racing extravaganza, Julia you genius. Mario always participates in this event every year. We are gonna find Mario before we’ve even visited an entire continent thanks to you. Turns out you’re not a useless sidekick after all.
(Our heroes rush off to where the Race is being held, which is next to Edinburgh)
(Camera fades to our heroes outside the Amazing Racing extravaganza at night)
Rayman: alright Julia, we’re gonna find Mario, talk things out, get out of here then we can both go our separate ways.
(Our heroes then enter the Amazing Racing extravaganza)
Rayman: alright Julia, we gotta ask if Mario will be competing in this Race first.
(Our heroes see Lightning McQueen)
Rayman: we should ask Lightning, he seems like he knows his stuff (to Lightning) hey, hey Lightning
Lightning McQueen: huh? Oh hey Rayman, how have you been?
Rayman: oh I’ve been doing ok considering the fact that Ubisoft always seems to keep me in their basement.
Lightning McQueen: oh really? so who’s you’re new friend over there?
Rayman: huh? Oh that’s Julia; she’s the newest addition to Sesame Street.
Lightning McQueen: huh, is that right?
Rayman: yeah, oh and she has autism, that’s what makes her unique.
Lightning McQueen: wait what?!
Rayman: that was my reaction when I found out too.
Lightning McQueen: so are you and her competing in this racing extravaganza?
Rayman: well actually we came all this way because we were wondering if Mario would compete this time
Lightning McQueen: well that’s the bad news; Mario unfortunately will not be competing for some reason, says he’s too busy working on a crossover featuring himself and the rabbids. Oh well I- are you ok Rayman?
(Rayman takes a few deep breaths to control his anger)
Rayman: I’m fine now. Come on Julia we gotta go, Mario’s not here
Smash Bros Announcer: and now, we’re closing the gate as all our competitors are here and it looks like Rayman and his pal will be competing together on behalf of the Super Mario Brothers
Rayman: whoa whoa whoa, we’re not competing there’s been a mistake, we should get going goodbye now
Smash Bros Announcer: too late, we already closed the gate now get on the track and into your car. Don’t worry drivers; we modified your cars so that they can keep up with even the fastest of our runners so now everyone has a feasible chance of winning
(Rayman, Julia and everyone else go on to the track)
Rayman: so where’s our car?
Smash Bros Announcer: it’s this Mercedes Benz GLA.
Rayman: really? We’re doing the product placement thing? Boy this script just keeps getting worse and worse
Smash Bros Announcer: hey, somebody’s gotta pay for this movie ya know, how else would the creator be able to afford rent.
(Our heroes get in the car with Rayman in the driver’s seat)
Smash Bros Announcer: welcome race fans to the Amazing Racing extravaganza where we have lots of competitors competing to win our grand prize. And what a group we have racing, we have Lightning McQueen from the Cars trilogy, Sonic the Hedgehog from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, The Flash from The Flash comics, Super Sheep from those Super Sheep movies, SpongeBob Squarepants from SpongeBob Squarepants, Optimus Prime from Transformers, Batman from the Batman comics, Crash Bandicoot from the Crash Bandicoot series, Dash from The Incredibles, Jackson Storm From Cars 3, Vanellope von Schweetz from Wreck it Ralph, Dick Dastardly and his teammate Muttley from Wacky Races and last but not least, Rayman from the Rayman games and his teammate… (Looks at his notes) errm let me see here (back to the audience) …Julia (tries not to laugh) from Sesame Street. (Bursts into laughter)
Darrell Cartrip: Boogity Boogity Boogity boys, let’s go racing.
(The camera cuts to the interior of Rayman and Julia’s car)
Rayman: well Julia, be prepared for some raw speed
(Camera cuts to the starting line where we see Lakitu from the Super Mario series come down and does the “3,2,1, go” thing and the race gets started)
Smash Bros Announcer: and they’re off with the Flash taking the lead, because of course the Flash would take first place, why not
(Camera cuts to a side view of Sonic the hedgehog running that race in second place as he and the other racers make a right turn while picking up the first set of Item boxes from Mario Kart)
Smash Bros Announcer: and the Racers have already got the first set of Item boxes; let’s see what some of them got.
Darrell Cartrip: It looks like Sonic has got himself a banana peel he can throw either behind or in front of him
(Sonic tosses the banana peel behind him)
(Jackson Storm drives over the banana peel which causes him to spin out for a bit allowing everyone to overtake the guy)
Race Announcer: (as this is happening) oh and it looks like Sonic has given Storm the slip.
Darrell Cartrip: Looks like Storm has a lot of ground to make up in order to get back into this race
Jackson Storm: oh you are gonna pay for that Sonic
(Jackson Storm gets back on the track and continues racing)
(Camera cuts to Rayman and Julia’s car which has 3 Red shells spinning around it ready to be fired)
Rayman: I hope this works
(Rayman then fires one red shell at Lightning McQueen)
(Lightning then gets out 3 Banana peels which trail behind following him)
(The red shell Rayman fired then hits one of the Banana Peels)
Rayman: dang, he’s got banana peels! It’s ok, we just have to not let him get right in front of us.
(Rayman then slows the car down so that Batman can get in front of him and Julia)
(Lightning positions himself in front of Batman and uses one of the banana Peels to make Batman spin out)
Smash Bros Announcer: looks like Lightning just caused Batman to spin out using a banana peel
Darrell: thanks in part to Rayman and Julia strategically letting Batman pass them.
(Rayman then hits the accelerator and the car goes faster to the point where they pass Lightning)
Darrell: I can’t believe it; Rayman and Julia just passed Lightning McQueen
Lightning: whoa, did not see that coming
(Camera cuts to SpongeBob who has 3 Mushrooms from Mario)
(SpongeBob then uses the mushrooms to skip the next turn and take 3rd place)
(Rayman fires another red shell which hits SpongeBob causing him to spin out and get passed by the other competitors)
(Rayman then fires the last red shell which hits Sonic which causes him to fall over and get passed by Rayman and the other competitors)
(Camera cuts to the interior of Rayman and Julia’s car)
Rayman: aw yeah baby we got this in the bag, all we have to do is take the Flash out of first, hope no-one hits us with their items and that grand prize is as good as ours
(Camera cuts back out of the car)
Smash Bros Announcer: and it looks like our racers have hit the second set of item boxes at the left turn
Darrell: let’s see what interesting strategies will be at play with this batch of items
(Camera cuts to Jackson Strom who is quite far behind everyone getting a Bullet Bill)
Jackson Storm: aw heck yeah baby, it’s time for my cool comeback
(Jackson Storm then turns himself into the Bullet Bill which allows him to blast past most of the other competitors until he reaches 4th where he then turns back into Jackson Storm)
Jackson Storm: ha, so many losers so little time
(Camera cuts back to Rayman and Julia’s car where our heroes have got a Bob-omb)
Rayman: hey Julia, get ready to take the wheel
(Rayman puts Julia in the driver’s seat)
Rayman: sorry I can’t teach you how to drive
(Rayman climbs onto the roof of the car and whips out the Bob-omb and prepares to throw)
(Rayman throws the Bob-omb at the Flash and gets a successful hit causing the Flash to fall behind which now places Rayman and Julia in 1st place)
Sonic: hey, hey you! Yeah you
Rayman: what now Sonic can’t you see me and Julia are in 1st place?!
Sonic: oh really dude, because if I recall you’re still wanted! So I decided to bring in some friends
(Shadow, Zavok, Metal Sonic and Chaos zero all come on the screen in a Monster Truck)
Shadow: oh hey “limbless” remember us?!
Rayman: oh no, it’s you guys
Zavok: that’s right; we’re back in this motion picture event of the year (To the audience) please get the academy to give us an Oscar for best animated feature
Rayman: wait what? Are you praising this movie right now?
Metal Sonic: look Rayman, we’re being paid to praise this movie
Rayman: ok, where is this joke coming from?
Chaos Zero: well honestly we don’t know, it’s just in the script see?
Rayman: I think we get the joke by now, this script is still terrible
Shadow: wait, where is Julia right now?
Rayman: oh she’s driving this car right now why?
Shadow: wait what?
Rayman: whoop, gotta go bye (Rayman gets back in the car) (camera cuts back into the car) alright Julia I’ll take the wheel again. By the way how did you learn to drive so fast?
(Camera cuts to Shadow and the gang)
Shadow: Zavok, Uzi, now!
Zavok: but what about Julia?
Metal Sonic: dude, we can save her, Apprehend Rayman and collect our cool paycheques
Zavok: good point (Passes Shadow his Uzi)
Shadow: alright “Limbless,” ya wanna play rough? Try winning the race in a crashed car
(Shadow loads up his Uzi)
Rayman: oh dang, what are we gonna do Julia?
(Julia looks up at the night sky)
Julia: (Singing) twinkle twinkle little star
Rayman: dag nabbit Julia now’s not the time fo-(Gets a brilliant idea) oh yeah
(Rayman whips out an invincibility star from Mario)
Julia: star?
Rayman: hope this works
(Rayman goes to put the star on the car but almost gets shot by shadow so he retreats)
(Camera cuts to shadow and the gang)
(Shadow goes to fire again but he’s outta bullets)
Shadow: damn, I’m outta bullets, looks like we’re gonna have to ram them.
Zavok: that sounds like a deadly idea, let’s do it
Metal Sonic: I’m gonna raaaaaaaaam em
Shadow: why’d ya feel the need to put it like a cartoon weasel? Now let’s ram em
(Shadow then takes the wheel and steers their monster truck toward our heroes)
(Camera cuts back to Rayman who tries to put the star on the car but shadow ends up ramming Rayman and Julia’s car into the Cliffside)
(Camera cuts to the inside of Rayman and Julia’s car where we see Rayman and Julia as spooked as ever)
(Camera cuts back to Shadow)
(Shadow prepares to ram our heroes again but Rayman puts the star on the car thus making it invincible just in time)
Shadow: uh oh
(The monster truck then gets knocked back because Rayman and Julia’s car is now invincible and a little bit faster than before)
Rayman: ha, take that losers! Na na na na na!
(and so our two heroes end up crossing the finish line as the invincibility wears off thus winning the race)
Smash Bros announcer: and it looks like Rayman and Julia have won tonight’s race folks
Darrell: I gotta say those guys in the monster truck we’re not on any of our lists of competitors
(We then see a time jump to the winning ceremony)
Smash Bros announcer: ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the winners of our race, Rayman and Julia
(Rayman and Julia come on the stage)
Rayman: alright cut the garbage “pal” what’s our prize?
Smash Bros announcer: you’re grand prize is… (dramatic pause) getting knocked unconscious and getting kidnapped by the only group of Youtubers we could afford
Rayman: wait what?
(Our two heroes get knocked out then the screen fades to black)
(The screen fades out from black to reveal an underground cave system)
(Rayman and Julia sit up in pain)
Rayman: (in pain) oooooooooh man, that was really painful, now what other event does Mari-(hits his head on the ceiling) Ouch (very awake) what the heck? (Looks around at all the rocks everywhere) where are we?
???:(In a booming voice) welcome to our underground cave system
Rayman: yeah thanks for the knowledge pal but I gotta ask you Mr. disembodied booming voice, who are you and how do we get outta here?
???:(In a booming voice) we are the Yogscast; a crew consisting of many wonderful pe- (gets interrupted by Rayman)
Rayman: wait hang on, the Yogscast? Like, the YouTube people that do a lot of Minecraft stuff?
???:(In a booming voice) well, yeah I mean, we were the only group of Youtubers the studio executives could find who wanted to do this role for free
Rayman: for free?
???:(in a regular voice) well yeah, we got shazamed into doing this via this contract.
(Rayman’s jaw drops because of how shocked he is)
???: why are you so surprised? The whole movie industry is currently stuck making sequels, reboots, adaptations and nostalgic cash grabs.
Rayman: (sarcastically) oh yeah, like we’re any different.
???: (back to a booming voice) SILENCE FOOL! And now I shall reveal myself to you and you’re partner in crime
(The mystery person reveals himself to be Honeydew from the Yogscast)
Rayman: whelp, apparently Youtubers count as fictional characters now so we gotta prepare for this movie to be dated upon release
Honeydew: SILENCE! You two must be trained under our wing if you want to make it out of here in one piece
Rayman: so we have to fight our way out of here?
Honeydew: pretty much
Rayman: why’d ya kidnap us again?
Honeydew: to put you through the trial to see if you are worthy of being members of the Yogscast brotherhood
Rayman: really, “the Yogscast brotherhood?” uuuuuugh, I gotta tell ya Julia the next thing we know we’ll be forced to join the galactic guardians
Star Lord: (off screen) you called?
(camera pans to the left to show the Guardians of the Galaxy while playing hooked on a feeling)
Rayman: (Song stops) no not you, the other galactic guardians
Star Lord: there were other galactic guardians? come on guys, lets. Go. Sue the pants off of em. (Star Lord and the guardians leave to go submit a lawsuit)
Rayman: (angrily) ummm you’re welcome! (Mumbling) ungrateful idiots
Honeydew: right, where were we. Ah yes, your training montage
Rayman: fine, whatever
(We then get a training montage where we see Rayman and Julia doing combat training while the song “diggy diggy hole” plays then at the end fighting an evil monster and winning)
(Montage ends with a shot where we see Julia with a sword and Rayman with his fists and the time has shifted to the 15th August)
Honeydew: congratulations, you two are now a part of the Yogscast brotherhood, and from this moment forward, you can call us for help whenever you need it
Rayman: (sigh of relief) thank goodness, you have no idea what we’ve been through but, why are you helping us now painfully obvious YouTube cameo?
Honeydew: because you’re both one of us now, go and achieve your goals
Rayman: well enjoy your current predicament; I can’t wait for you and your team to obviously just show up for the climax, but first I gotta let you know there’s a uuum, false Mario at Nintendo Japan
Honeydew: good to know
(Rayman and Julia finally open the front door in a mountain)
Rayman: whoa, something tells me we’re not in Scotland anymore
(The camera then shows lots of mountains in a grand way, and then it reveals that our heroes are standing next to a two seated version of the Tornado from Sonic in a hilarious way)
Rayman: well that’s convenient
(Our heroes then jump in the Tornado and take to the skies)
(The camera fades to the inside of Nintendo Japan where we see Mario, Luigi, Shadow, Zavok, Metal Sonic, Chaos and Sonic the Hedgehog)
Mario: you mean to tell me, that none of you could stop Rayman?
Shadow: hey man, Rayman is really hard to catch yet easy to find considering the fact that he is a man that has no arms or legs. Pretty funny how that all works out
Luigi: well, I guess there’s only one thing left to do now
Sonic: let’s do it dude
(Mario picks up the phone but before we can find out who he’s calling the camera fades back to Rayman and Julia still in the Tornado some time later)
Rayman: well Julia, once we get to Nintendo of Japan our little adventure will be over, you can go back to being with your friends, I can dest- work things out with Mario and clear my name of all this “wanted” business then you can spend the rest of your life in happiness and I can spend my life with my friends, stuck, in the basement, of Ubisoft. Probably to never make another new game of my own ever again. (Rayman realises how depressing that sounds) umm. So yeah, fun things are in store for me.
(The camera then cuts to a short distance behind the Tornado where we see Super Sheep flying in the sky)
(Super sheep secretly uses his laser vision to cause the Tornado to begin to crash land)
Rayman: we’re going down!
(Super Sheep shows up)
Super Sheep: hey peeps hows life?
Rayman: JUST GET THE PLANE TO SAFETY!
Super Sheep: well Tails was searching for this plane; we gotta go to Sheepopolis to drop you guys off while I take this thing back to Tails so that he can fix it
(Super Sheep then takes our two heroes to his home city of Sheepopolis)
(Camera then cuts to all three of them in Sheepopolis)
(Super sheep then safely puts down the Tornado)
Super Sheep: alright everybody out, right now come on
(Rayman and Julia get out of the Tornado)
Rayman: thanks for the lift pal
Super Sheep: no problem dude, I gotta go get this plane back to Tails. Then after that I’m gonna go and errrm, protest against humanity for knowingly turning us animal people into meats. Catch ya later
(Super Sheep flies off to get the Tornado back to Tails)
Rayman: well Julia, we best find a portal seeing how we got thrust into a completely different version of earth and hope that portal takes us right outside of Nintendo of Japan
(Julia sees a poster for a bunny hopping contest)
Julia: boing boing boing
Rayman: what are you doing now Julia? (Rayman then takes note of this poster) umm no, not this time
(Julia then starts feeling sad)
(Rayman then realises that this event is sponsored by Mario and Rabbids Kingdom Battle)
Rayman: I change my mind, let’s go to this bunny hopping contest
(Julia’s face then lights up with excitement)
(Camera fades to the bunny hopping contest which is in a convention centre filled with lots of rabbits from various franchises)
(We then see Rayman disguised as someone else and Julia still dressed normally wondering around this convention centre)
Rayman: (whispering) alright Julia you go do the contest, I’ll find out if Mario is here
(Julia and Rayman then separate to do the things they gotta do)
(Camera cuts to Rayman blending into the crowd until Jazz Jackrabbit notices him)
Jazz: hey you, yeah you. The names Jazz, Jazz Jackrabbit. What’s your name buster?
Rayman: (trying to sound like a 10 year old) uummm my name is (awkward pause) Jimmy.
Jazz: really? Ya don’t look like a neutron to me, but whatever, and for the record, I’ve got my eye on you “jimmy”
(Jazz then heads off)
Rayman: (whispering) phew, that was close
(Rayman then notices that the Rabbids are coming)
Rayman: oh no not these guys again
(The Rabbids then start surrounding Rayman)
Rayman: look guys, I don’t need any of your Bwaaaaaaaaaah-ing today, go away
(Rayman tries to go in a specific direction but gets stopped by more Rabbids)
Rayman: hey, get out of my way, the lot of you, I’m trying to find Mario over here
(The Rabbids look at each other for a few seconds then back to Rayman)
Rabbids: (constant Bwaaaaah-ing)
(Rayman then starts getting really angry)
Rayman: (in a sort of going insane kind of way) oooooh you Rabbids, you dumb, annoying Rabbids, first you steal my franchise, then you ruin my life, and now you’re trying to deafen me with your retched screaming, well not for long
(Rayman then finally lets all that anger out by punching all the Rabbids into oblivion then proceeding to destroy the entire convention centre)
(While Rayman is destroying the convention centre in a blind rage everyone is being evacuated out of there, including Julia)
Rayman: (after having punched all the Rabbids) WHO’S NEXT! (sees Jazz Jackrabbit) OH YOU’LL DO NICELY!
Jazz: Jimmy are you ok? (Gets tackled by Rayman) oi, what’s the big idea man?
(Rayman then takes off his wig to reveal that he is Rayman)
Jazz: RAYMAN?! But… Why are you doing this?
Rayman: because my good friend, those Rabbids, and their precious Mario have wronged me for the last time
Jazz: well gee, looks like I’ll have to calm you down
(Jazz reaches for his blaster but realises it’s not there)
Rayman: (gets out Jazz’s blaster) oh, looking for this are we?
(Rayman then shoots Jazz with his own weapon)
(Rayman then starts shooting every Rabbid he sees)
Super Sheep: (from a distance) OI!
(Rayman turns around with an angry look on his face)
(The camera then turns around to focus on Super Sheep)
Super Sheep: there’s no need to fear, I’ve come to save the day
(Super Sheep then flies down and lands a short distance from Rayman)
(Rayman and Super Sheep then have a fight until the convention centre ends up being destroyed)
(We cut to Rayman and Super Sheep watching the destruction from a distance)
Rayman: (now calmed down) whoa
Super Sheep: well Rayman, that’s just the beginning of your new problems
Rayman: what do you mean by “new problems?” you know I’m already wanted right?
Super Sheep: well Rayman it’s not just being wanted that you gotta worry about now, you also have to worry abo- (Realises that Rayman is gone) weird, that usually happens while I’m spewing exposition not before-hand. Oh well (Super Sheep then goes off to find Rayman)
(The camera pans the police outside the building)
Police officer: So, Mr Bird, was it?
Big Bird: yes that’s my name
Police officer: ok, so you’re saying that you last saw Rayman and your friend Julia on the plane to Scotland and then they disappeared
Big Bird: that’s right they disappeared as soon as we got there
Police officer: I see, well while we search for your friend while you look at this piece of paper.
(Police officer goes to find Julia)
(The Sesame Street characters then look at the paper then Big Bird turns it over to reveal that it’s the wanted poster for Rayman)
Police officer: hey Mr Bird, we found your friend
Big Bird/Elmo: JULIA!
(The Sesame Street cast then reunite in a big emotional group hug)
(The Camera fades back to Rayman who is currently hitching a ride on the back of a pickup truck with planks of wood and metal)
(Rayman lets out a sigh of remorse as he looks up at the starry sky)
???: hey, whos back there?
Rayman: oh just me, the guy that’s trying to escape his problems
???: well since your here now I might as well catch your name
Rayman: oh, well my names Rayman, maybe you’ve heard of me recently?
???: Rayman huh? I was starting to think I’d never bump into you
Rayman: so you know about how I’m wanted?
???: yep, I’ve heard about all the recent incidents you’ve gotten yourself into
Rayman: so where are we going?
???: we’re off to help the world of that one novel called “Moby Dick” to do some repairs, you’re welcome to help out if ya want
Rayman: thanks driver
???: who said anything about me being human?
Rayman: so if you’re not human then what are you mysterious pickup truck driver, and while we’re at it, what’s your name?
???: My name is Smokey, and I am indeed the pickup truck itself
Rayman: oh really? So you come from the Cars franchise?
Smokey: yep, I do. Well sit tight Rayman, its gonna be a while till we get there
(The camera then moves behind a tree which causes the transition to Moby Dick where we see reconstruction going on)
(Rayman gets off and notices all the other obscure cameos helping out)
Rayman: so that’s the damage that earthquake did 11 years ago
Oswald: You think that’s the worst of it? You should have seen what it was like back then
Rayman: weren’t you trying to kill us back then?
Oswald: hey your right (chuckles), those were very different times
Rayman: yeah, those were very different times
Oswald: well catch you around Rayman
(Rayman then sits down and reminisces for a moment)
(We then see both Matilda and Casey walk on screen and sit next to Rayman)
Matilda: Hi Rayman, what are you doing here?
Rayman: oh hey guys, I’m just remembering some old memories and wondering where I went wrong
Casey: we heard that you now have a huge bounty on your head
Rayman: yep, I have. It’s a long story involving Mario, Rabbids, Sesame Street and a bunch of fighting
Casey: well that sounds interesting
Rayman: yeah, it is.
Matilda: hey Rayman, remember when we drove Miss Trunchbull out of Crunchem Hall?
Rayman: yeah, it was back then when I was about to go on my first 3D adventure. Oh where did the time go?
Matilda: who knows.
Rayman: yeah
(Rayman then starts having flashbacks to Matilda 64 and Super Tomorrow 3D Land)
(Flashbacks end)
Rayman: those were the days, oh how I’ve fallen.
Casey: can you remember why you got replaced in the first place?
Rayman: something to do with not being as “marketable” as a bunch of Rabbids
Casey: are you sure that’s where everything went wrong for you?
Rayman: yeah, I’m very sure, I’m not sonic you know
(Super Sheep shows up)
Super Sheep: precisely.
(Camera pans to Super Sheep)
(Super sheep goes and sits next to Rayman)
Rayman: what now? You here to turn me in?
Super Sheep: to be honest, that’s what I’m supposed to do. But I’m not going to because honestly I’ve started to feel bad about causing your little tornado crash.
Rayman: so that was you was it?
Super Sheep: hey, you got lucky, Mario paid me some extra money upfront so I technically don’t have to turn you in; other people normally won’t get the money until the job’s done.
Casey: oh really?
Super Sheep: oh hi Case, how’s life been since our last adventure?
Casey: oh pretty good thanks, so what did you mean by “precisely?”
Super Sheep: well, like Rayman said, he’s not Sonic.
Rayman: yeah, I’m not Sonic, what does that have to do with me being replaced by other Ubisoft brands?
Super Sheep: well, in your anger induced quest to gain more relevance and destroy what you’ve been replaced by… and Mario, you’ve failed to realise that people still think of you as a quality franchise.
Rayman: well yeah but, I just wish Ubisoft paid more attention to me that’s all
Super Sheep: think of it like this, at least when they do make games of you people in the real world can guarantee it’s going to be great, at least you know what your fan base wants, at least you have a brand identity. Sonic has none of that nowadays
Rayman: I suppose you’re right
Super Sheep: yep, and it’s a good thing I was feeling nice enough to tell you this before you did something that could get Mario killed over and over again
Rayman: oh you mean like lying to a group of Youtubers about a fake Mario?
Super Sheep: yeah, something like tha… (sudden realisation) you did exactly that didn’t you?
Rayman: yup
Super Sheep: right, that’s it Mr, we’re saving Mario pronto (turns to Casey and Matilda) you two coming?
Casey: sure, why not. It’s not like we’ve both gone time travelling already
Super Sheep: cool, let’s go
Matilda: and while we’re at it we might as well get Rayman’s new friend to help too
Rayman: you mean Julia? No way. She can hardly throw a punch let alone save the universe. Besides, she’s better off without me anyway
Casey: yeah but look at these newspaper clippings real quick (Rayman looks at the clippings given to him by Casey) who is that besides you in all those pictures?
Rayman: well that’s Julia obviously
Casey: exactly, and it wouldn’t be right for you to just ditch her because of a lack of fighting experience
Rayman: alright, you win but we can’t let ourselves be seen by anyone
Casey: well, let’s all go. To Paris
Rayman What? Why?
Casey: that’s where sesame street’s next destination is.
Rayman: alright, let’s do this. TO PARIS!
(Our heroes 4 then batman transition their way to Paris)
Matilda: how’d we get to Paris so fast?
Super Sheep: that’s the power of the transition taxi service, transcending the fabric of time and space to get us where we want to go more or less instantaneously
Rayman: hey, who’s that guiding the Sesame Street puppets?
(Camera then Pans to the Sesame Street cast being guided by Ladybug then back to our heroes except Super Sheep looks completely different)
Casey: hey why the disguise?
Super Sheep: let’s just say me; Hugo and The Night Pig haven’t had the best of encounters with this character lately
(Ladybug and the Sesame Street gang then head towards our heroes)
Ladybug: and this is the Eifel Tower where… (Notices our heroes) I think I’ve met one of you before
Super Sheep: (Italian accent) I dunno what you’re talking about sister, I’m definitely a new face you’ve never seen before
(Ladybug gets suspicious)
Ladybug: really? Well I guess if you were to turn upside down or run too fast your “moustache” won’t fall off
Super Sheep: (laughs nervously) No, my moustache is totally 100 percent really legitimate no questions asked, watch this. You watch right here polka dots.
(Super Sheep then runs back and forth then returns without a moustache)
Super Sheep: see?
Ladybug: well where is your moustache?
(Super Sheep then feels where his moustache would be only to realise it’s gone)
Super Sheep: (normal voice) oh uuuuuuum, well, I… JIGS UP, ABANDON SHIP KIIIIIIIIIIDS! (Rips off the rest of the disguise)
Ladybug: hold it Sheep. We’ll have to settle our differences to capture that limbless freak
Rayman: not if I have anything to say about it
Big Bird: is everything ok Ladybug?
Ladybug: don’t worry about it bird, I’ll de-evilise this limbless man and we can get back to the to…
Rayman: ok first off, I haven’t been evilised or whatever you call it. And second of all, I’ve finally realised the error of my ways just in time to change gears and wanna save Mario.
Ladybug: who’s gonna fall for that ruse?
Rayman: (to the audience) well if it’s a fight she wants, it’s a fight she’ll get
(Rayman then winds up a punch)
(Ladybug sees this and prepares for it)
(Rayman then sends his punch flying only for Ladybug to deflect it by spinning her Yo-Yo really fast)
Rayman: ouch, what the heck man? That’s one of my punching hands you know!
(Ladybug jumps at Rayman to throw a punch but Rayman dodges, does a few wall jumps between two buildings and landing on a rooftop then he runs off)
(Ladybug goes to follow him)
(Camera cuts to Rayman running and jumping from rooftop to rooftop)
Rayman: well so much for not letting anyone see me I guess
(Ladybug then shows up quite a distance behind Rayman)
Rayman: oh hi, madam von bug right?
Ladybug: the name’s Ladybug and you’re going down
Rayman: not if I have anything to say about it bug breath
(Ladybug and Rayman then start running and jumping towards each other and start fighting each other)
(The fight goes on for a minute until Ladybug trips over Rayman’s foot)
Rayman: looks like the bug’s getting crushed under the weight of my superior step
(Rayman goes to kick Ladybug away until she grabs his foot mid-kick)
Rayman: huh?
Ladybug: NOW CAT NOIR! (Throws Rayman in the air)
(Camera then cuts to Cat Noir who then jumps up in the air after Rayman and hitting him down with his baton)
(As a result Rayman hits the ground face first with force)
(Rayman slowly gets up and dusts himself off)
Rayman: (cracks his back so that it is straight again) oooh man, I gotta get outta here
(Ladybug and Cat Noir then fall down athletically to the ground)
Cat Noir: going somewhere? We were just about to take you on a prison world tour
Rayman: oh? (sarcastically) I had no idea there was a prison world tour
Super Sheep: (off screen) (dramatically) the prison world tour you say? (Camera then cuts to Super Sheep walking out of the shadow of a building) yeah, I’ve heard of that kind of garbage before, (normal voice) it’s terrible. Well not worth the mental scarring (shudders)
(Camera cuts to a different angle where we see Rayman, Ladybug and Cat Noir)
Ladybug: Super Sheep, get him
Super Sheep: (to the audience) well, she asked for it, she’s the boss
(Super Sheep then runs over to Rayman and starts pretending to inspect him when in reality he’s eyeing up Cat Noir)
Ladybug: what are you doing?
Super Sheep: well ya gotta inspect your target before you bag em, ain’t that right litter box man?
Cat Noir: the name is Cat Noir lamb breath
Super Sheep: at ease yarn mouth, I haven’t got a grip on my target yet
(the camera then cuts to a P.O.V shot of Super Sheep looking at Rayman and Cat Noir)
Super Sheep: just gonna make sure that my laser is lined up correctly aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnd…
(Super Sheep then fires a laser at Cat Noir)
(Cat Noir Dodges)
Ladybug: hey, what was that for?
Super Sheep: you wanted me to try and get him didn’t you?
Ladybug: I MEANT THE LIMBLESS GUY YOU NUMBSKULL!
(Rayman start running back to the Sesame Street cast)
Super Sheep: (to Rayman) RUN RAYMAN! RUN LIKE THE WIND, DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU GOTTA DO! (To Ladybug) and as for you and your little cat nap friend, I’ll kick you both through the catflap
(Camera then cuts back to the Sesame street gang, Matilda and Casey)
Casey: so I heard about your new friend over here and her adventures with Rayman
Big Bird: well it all sounded very exciting, and rather dangerous
Matilda: I’ll bet. (To Julia) so they say you’ve been on many grand adventures. Is this true?
Julia: yes
Casey: so where have you two been?
(Julia makes car noises)
Matilda: ooooh, you went racing did you?
Julia: yes (shows a newspaper clipping of her and Rayman on the winning podium)
(Rayman then shows up)
Rayman: guys we gotta get outta here an… oh, Mr Bird I…
Big Bird: …believe you have something to say
Rayman: oh, we’re just going to jump right there are we? (deep breath) I’m sorry
Big Bird: for what Ray?
Rayman: I’m Sorry… for using you guys as a front for a scheme to destroy Mario (to Julia) especially you. (to everyone in the Sesame Street gang) can any of you forgive me?
Big Bird: well we can all forgive you, though I don’t think I can say the same about those guys
(Rayman then looks up to find Shadow, Chaos Zero, Zavok and Metal Sonic on the roof gazing down at him)
Shadow: hello “Limbless,” finally ready to get destroyed?
Rayman: you guys!?
Zavok: we thought you’d finally been knocked for good but, seeing as you’re still here. It looks like we’ll have to finish you ourselves
Elmo: are you sure pounding Rayman into the ground is a good idea Mr?
Shadow: Listen Elmo, we’re doing this for your own good, the way we see it, we’re saving the show we care about from this… this… corruption that Rayman has brought upon it.
(The 4 Sonic characters jump down onto the ground ready to face Rayman)
(We cut to a P.O.V shot of Metal Sonic scanning Rayman)
Metal Sonic: Target acquired, Prepare to be Assimilated
(Camera cuts to a Smug Rayman)
Rayman: we’ll see who gets assimilated first.
(The 4 Sonic characters and Rayman prepare to fight)
Julia: WAIT!
Shadow: what now? Are you gonna sing a song about how we can all be friends? Well it’s too late now. (Signals to the other sonic characters to get Rayman)
(Zavok then charges at Rayman which sends him into the city centre)
Julia: RAYMAN! NOOO!
(The 4 Sonic characters then go off to track down Rayman)
(Camera then cuts to Rayman falling and landing near where Ladybug and Cat Noir are fighting Super Sheep)
(Rayman gets up)
(Super Sheep then slides over to Rayman)
Rayman: you ok?
(Super Sheep gets up and dusts himself off)
Super Sheep: I’m fine; these guys are just tougher than I thought given the fact I’m a Superman knock off
(Ladybug and Cat Noir show up)
Cat Noir: looks like the sheep is getting sheered
(Camera then pans to the 4 Sonic characters)
Shadow: and the Ray is finally being… …reflected back… …at itself. Nailed it
(Camera cuts back to Rayman, Super Sheep, Ladybug and Cat noir looking confused)
Super Sheep: yeeeeaaaah, I think you should leave the puns to me and kitty galore over here
Cat Noir: that’s it wise guy you’re going down!
(Super Sheep then starts fighting Cat Noir)
(Ladybug notices this and goes to help Cat Noir out)
Shadow: well limbless looks like it’s gonna be four on one
(Shadow then throws a punch Rayman’s way but he dodges and is able to get a three hit combo in before Zavok gives Rayman a powerful punch)
(Rayman then decides to grab a street lamp and then uses his momentum to propel himself back to the fight)
(When he comes back Chaos simply grabs him and tosses him in the air then jumps up and smacks him down, which means now he does more here than in forces)
(As Rayman falls he then gets pounded to the side by Metal Sonic)
(The camera then cuts to Super Sheep fighting Ladybug and Cat Noir)
(Super Sheep is backed into a corner, notices Rayman then flies away to help)
(Ladybug and Cat Noir go chase after him)
(Camera cuts to Rayman still flying then he hits the wall of a building)
(Super Sheep flies on screen)
Super Sheep: you ok?
(Rayman gets up)
Rayman: yeah, I’m fine, but I’m not sure for how long
(Ladybug and Cat Noir then show up to the scene)
Rayman: uh oh, we’re done for now
(The Sesame Street gang, Matilda and Casey then show up)
Julia: WAIT!
(Ladybug and Cat Noir then stop what they’re doing)
Ladybug: what is it kid?
(Julia points to a newspaper with a picture of Mario on it)
Ladybug: What’s Mario got to do with this?
Rayman: well thanks to my own misdoing the Yogscast people are going to destroy his gluteus maximus
Ladybug: WHAT!?
Super Sheep: come on you, no time to explain, we need to get to Japan quickly
(Shadow, Zavok, Chaos and Metal Sonic then show up)
Shadow: I believe no one is going anywhere
Super Sheep: guys, there’s been a change of plan, we gotta go save Mario and-
Zavok: Zip it sheep, we don’t give a hoot about that plumber anymore. We’re just after that Limbless freak
Casey: but no matter what his initial intentions might have been, he’s learned before he made his biggest mistake
Shadow: but still, we believe he needs to die for his actions
Rayman: but if your ways are set based on first impressions, isn’t that going against part of the message of the show you 4 claim to love?
Metal Sonic: RIGHT, THATS IT!
(Metal Sonic then prepares to charge at Rayman)
Rayman: uh oh (gets out of the way as Metal crashes into the building)
(Rayman and the others then start running)
Zavok: they’re getting away
Chaos Zero: Not on My watch, you guys got the Chaos Emeralds?
Shadow: (shows the Green Emerald) I swiped em while Sonic wasn’t looking
Chaos Zero: Good, I’m gonna need those soon
(Chaos then turns into a puddle and goes into the Sewers)
(Camera cuts to Rayman and friends running)
(Camera pans to a Manhole cover a small distance in front with a puddle spewing out of it)
(The puddle then transforms back into Chaos Zero)
(Camera cuts back to our heroes who end up hitting their brakes and stopping a small distance away from Chaos Zero)
Big Bird: who’s that anyway?
Rayman: that my birdie friend is Chaos
Big Bird: how do you know that?
Rayman: it’s simple, Sonic told me. Now if you’ll excuse me.
(Rayman then charges a punch)
(Rayman lets the punch rip)
(The camera tracks Rayman’s fist until Chaos ends up stopping it)
(Camera cuts back to Rayman)
Rayman: looks like I’ll have to go closer
(Rayman then goes and runs to get closer to Chaos)
(Chaos then unexpectedly throws Rayman’s fist back at him)
(Rayman gets hit square in the face by his own fist)
Rayman: ooooh dang, looks like I’ll have to be more careful
(Chaos then stretches his arms to try and grab Rayman but Rayman keeps jumping and ducking to avoid Chaos’ grabs)
(The camera then cuts to the shadows where we see… well, Shadow throw the Chaos emeralds into Chaos, transforming him into Perfect Chaos)
(As he is Transforming our heroes then climb their way to higher ground because the whole city’s flooding and storm clouds envelope the city)
(We see a shot of the whole city flooding with Zavok, Shadow and Metal Sonic flying to Japan in the Eggmobile from Sonic)
Rayman: OH NO, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!
Super Sheep: I’ll check the internet
(Super Sheep then whips out an old wireless computer to look up how to defeat Perfect Chaos, reads it for a bit then puts the computer back)
Big Bird: well?
Super Sheep: We’ll need to make a few calls first
Sonic: (Off Screen) hey, what’s going on here?
Rayman: (relieved but also suspicious) hey Sonic, you going to turn me in after this is over?
Sonic: well actually Rayman, (sarcasm) in a shocking twist (end sarcasm) I ended up over hearing Shadow talking with the other villains about “taking advantage” of some mistake someone made
Casey: what mistake? You mean the one Rayman made when he lied to those Yogscast guys?
Sonic: (Thinks about how all this adds up) I could see that being what they were talking about. I’ll distract Chaos while you guys run off to find a plane to Japan
Rayman: but what if we get cornered and can’t escape?
Super Sheep: dude, you and Julia are the main characters of this picture, I’m sure you’ll think of something
(Our heroes go to run)
Sonic: oh, wait a minute
(The heroes stop)
Rayman: what?
Sonic: catch
(Sonic throws the Phantom Ruby from Sonic Mania and Julia catches it)
Julia: ooooh, pretty
Sonic: nice catch kid, that thing may look pretty, but from what my past self told me, this “Phantom Ruby” as he put it, is very powerful. Keep it safe, I suspect those bad guys might want to use it’s incredible powers to rule the world.
(Our Heroes then start running away)
(The Camera then cuts to the Yogscast guys in a Japanese forest still searching for Mario)
Honeydew: be careful boys, the faker could be anywhere
Other Yogscast Member: hey, what’s that?
(The camera cuts to a shot where we see the Eggmobile land and Shadow, Zavok and Metal Sonic get out)
Shadow: greetings boys
Honeydew: what do you three want?
Zavok: you remember a guy called Rayman with his pal Julia mentioning about a “fake Mario” in Japan?
Honeydew: yeah, why?
Shadow: let’s just say that since then there’s been reports of a fake version of this movie’s Heroes
Honeydew: where did you get this info from?
Metal Sonic: let’s just say we have a really credible source feeding us this critical info to help us save the world
Honeydew: aren’t you guys Sonic villains?
Shadow: that is true, but please. Help us save the world
(Honeydew thinks about it)
Honeydew: alright, you’ve got yourselves a deal
(Shadow and Honeydew Shake hands and the Camera cuts back to Paris with our heroes running)
Ladybug: so how do you propose we defeat a giant water monster?
Super Sheep: it’s ok, our old pal Sonics got that covered
Ladybug: yeah but I suspect he’ll need some help
Super Sheep: ok, you and Kitten whisper go help sonic with Perfect Chaos. Big Bird guy, you get your little preschool friends gang to safety. Rayman, Julia, Casey, Matilda and I will distract Perfect Chaos so that ol’ Polka dots, Kitty Galore and Speedy gon-crisis can defeat him
(Ladybug and Cat Noir then leave to try and help Sonic)
(Big Bird and the other Sesame Street characters that aren’t Julia go and find a way to safety)
Rayman: alright A-Team, let’s get to work. Matilda, Casey. Fashion us up a weapon, Super Sheep, get his attention. Julia and I will figure out how to work this “Phantom Ruby” thingy Sonic gave us.
(The Camera cuts to Sonic the Hedgehog Running across the water towards Perfect Chaos)
(He then uses the Boost move to get through Perfect Chaos’ outer layer then he bops around inside till he reaches the top which damages Perfect Chaos)
(As Perfect Chaos roars the camera pans back to Rayman)
Rayman: alright Julia, try rubbing the thing
(Julia tries rubbing the Ruby but nothing happens)
Rayman: darn (To Matilda) how’s that weapon coming on?
(Camera cuts to Matilda and Casey working together to find weapon pieces)
Matilda: we’re doing surprisingly well actually
Rayman: Ok great (to Julia) try shaking it
(Julia tries shaking it like she’s in Wario Land Shake it but it is no good)
Rayman: drat, there must be a way to work this thing
(Camera cuts to Super Sheep flying around distracting perfect Chaos)
Super Sheep: heeeeeeeey, wart-zilla! It’s me, yer ol’ pal Su-
(Perfect Chaos then uses his mouth Laser and afterwards Super Sheep ends up all grey like in the cartoons)
(Perfect Chaos then uses one of his water tentacles to pin Super Sheep to a wall near our main Characters)
(Rayman and Julia notice this then pick up the pace in figuring out how the Phantom Ruby is activated)
(Perfect Chaos then sends two more Water tentacles, one to the left of our main characters and one to the right of them and begins to close them in)
Rayman: well Julia, I think this might be the end
Julia: the end? No!
Rayman: I’m afraid so
Matilda: oh no, they’re not going to make it
Rayman: (to Matilda and Casey) you two, if you see Globox or any of my friends and Colleagues at Ubisoft, tell them it was nice knowing them
Julia: NEVER THE END! (she then activates the Phantom Ruby which distorts the space-time around our two main heroes and causes them to rise a small distance off the ground, then after that happens our two heroes then get teleported to Casey and Matilda)
(Rayman then stares at Julia with a bewildered look on his face)
Rayman: but… how did you activate the Ruby?
Julia: not the end yet
Rayman: I suppose not, but now we gotta save Super Sheep
(Our two heroes then go off to help Super Sheep)
Casey: wait, you’ll need this
(Casey gives Rayman a weapon)
Rayman: what is this thing?
Casey: a makeshift Freeze Ray.
(Rayman then uses the Freeze Ray to Freeze the Tentacle Super Sheep is trapped in)
Super Sheep: (Muffled) oooooooh, I See. Lemme just…
(Super Sheep then Lasers his way out of the Tentacle)
Super Sheep: alright kiddie winks, lets rock and roll, hop in my back and let’s get dangerous
(Rayman and Julia then hop into Super Sheep’s back, don’t act like you haven’t. And then Super Sheep flies off towards Perfect Chaos)
Rayman: so what’s the plan this time wise guy?
Super Sheep: Sonic is going to boost into Chaos once more then your pal Julia will use the magical space-time Ruby Rock thing to I dunno, drop an anvil on Perfect Chaos and we can hope it defeats Perfect Chaos.
Rayman: well this better work.
(Super Sheep whips out a phone)
Super Sheep: (on the Phone) yo Sonic, you ready to boost?
Sonic: (through the phone) Ready, but I’ve been thinking about experimenting with the whole “Triple boost” thing mentioned in these Project Sonic 2017 design documents
Super Sheep: (On the phone) well maybe you can do it with the Main Characters
Sonic: (Through the phone) perfect, I’ll have Ladybug and Cat Noir distract him.
Super Sheep: (On the phone) Great, I’ll drop the payload now
(Super Sheep then drops Rayman and Julia towards Sonic)
(Sonic Sees them)
Sonic: Ladybug, Cat Noir, you two Distract Perfect Chaos, I’ve got some boosting to do
(Sonic then Jumps and Catches Rayman and Julia in his arms and our 3 heroes land in the safety of a rooftop)
Julia: plan?
Sonic: ok, here’s our plan. We’re going to do a triple boost into Perfect Chaos, then when we’re on top of him, the kid will activate the Phantom Ruby and hopefully the combined powers of both our triple boost and the Phantom Ruby should be enough to defeat him. Ready guys?
Rayman/Julia: Ready
Sonic: Let’s do this!
(Our three Heroes then begin to prepare for a Triple Boost like in Sonic Forces)
Sonic: TRIPLE, BOOST! (Our Heroes then Triple boost across the water until they reach the inside of Perfect Chaos)
(They Bop around Inside Perfect Chaos)
Sonic: (When they reach the top) NOW KID!
(As the Triple boost damages perfect Chaos, Julia Activates the Phantom Ruby and it helps defeat Perfect Chaos, putting an end to his reign of destruction and saving Paris)
(Our 3 heroes then land in the un-flooded streets of Paris in front of a downed Chaos Zero)
Sonic: alright Chaos, tell us what you know about this plan or you’ll be getting frozen by a makeshift freeze ray
Chaos Zero: alright, alright I’ll talk. Shadow, Zavok and Metal Sonic wanna manipulate the Yogscast into killing Mario for the sake of ruling the universe.
Rayman: so, 4 of my biggest obstacles have turned out to wanna kill Mario themselves?
Super Sheep: (To the audience) get a load of captain obvious over here, though it does raise the question of why they bothered to help Mario in the first place and not just, you know, let Rayman do it for them and save a ton of hassle.
Rayman: right, we gotta save Mario
Julia: save Mario?
Rayman: yeah Julia, we need to save mine and Sonic’s friend, and your new friend.
Ladybug: Cat Noir, Casey, Matilda and I will be right behind you
Rayman: great, let’s go
Super Sheep: wait, let me make a few calls first (Super Sheep whips out his phone) (on the phone) Hello Hugo, Night Pig? We’ll meet you in Japan ASAP, if this Mario Murder plot is as heavily armed as me and this team think it is, we’ll need to work together. Get to Nintendo and protect Mario till we get there
(Super Sheep hangs up and our heroes go off to an airport outside of Paris)
(Camera cuts to Japan where we see Mario at Nintendo HQ)
Mario: hey, that-a Rayman is-a still at large. Why has no one taken him down?
(Night Pig and Hugo then Land right outside of Nintendo HQ)
Mario: WHAT THE?
(Camera cuts to Hugo and The Night Pig)
Hugo: Right, let’s wait around until someone comes along to try and kill Mario.
(We then get a time jump to later at night where we see Hugo, Night Pig and Mario roasting marshmallows over a camp fire)
Night Pig: doing anything nice this weekend?
Mario: not much, just continuing work on that a-Mario and Rabbids Kingdom battle game, it’s-a very nearly complete. You guys doing anything?
Night Pig: not much really, just, you know, doing superhero stuff, foiling Hex Moother and the Rouges Gallery’s evil plans. You know the usual.
Mario: aaaaaaaahh, I a-see.
(Our 3 side characters start to hear an army of footsteps)
Night Pig: you hear that?
(The sound grows louder as the source reveals itself to be the Yogscast guys)
Honeydew: WE SHALL VANQUISH THE VILE FAKER, AND HIS LITTLE FAKE CHUMS TOO
(Night pig looks on with a bored look on his face while Hugo’s just confused, then they begin laughing at the Yogscast army)
Honeydew: what’s so funny?
Night Pig: (still laughing) well, you see ya foolish fools, Super Sheep told us a threat was coming Mario’s way and, well… you guys look like you’re just here to boost this movie’s “relevancy” while YouTube is still big. Now run along and play fake army elsewhere we have a threat to face.
Honeydew: whelp, it’s your funerals. (To his army) GET THEM!
(The Yogscast guys then go and fight Mario, Hugo and The Night Pig)
(The camera then cuts to our main characters on a plane to Japan, well, except Super Sheep, because he can fly)
Rayman: alright team, we’ll need to make sure that we can take on whatever crazy threats come our way
(Camera cuts to Julia’s window as she sees what she thinks is a shooting star coming towards the plane)
Julia: Shooting star
(Rayman then goes to see this “shooting star”)
Rayman: that shooting star looks like its heading straight for us.
(The camera then pans towards this “shooting star” to reveal that it is actually Metal Sonic headed straight for that plane)
(Camera cuts to a P.O.V shot of Metal Sonic scanning that plane and finding Rayman and company then the camera cuts back to our heroes)
Rayman: hang on a moment
(Metal Sonic then charges through the centre of the plane which causes our heroes to start falling from the sky)
Rayman/Julia/Ladybug/Sonic/Cat Noir/Casey/Matilda: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Metal Sonic: guess who?
Rayman: you?!
Metal Sonic: that’s right you insolent Ray, I’m back to crush you and your little palsy walsies
(The camera then cuts to a P.O.V shot of Metal Sonic Scanning Super Sheep’s life data)
Super Sheep: not if our superior skills have anything to say about it
(Camera cuts to a close up of Metal Sonic, whose red eyes illuminate)
Super Sheep: what are ya gonna do tinny? Use those little light bulbs that bli-
(Metal Sonic then replicates Super Sheep’s Laser Vision which he just about dodges)
Super Sheep: OH JEEZ LOUIZE! WHY DIDN’T I SEE THIS COMING?
Rayman: no time, we’ve got a tin that needs a can opener to ruin
(Rayman and Sonic then try and flank Metal Sonic only for him to outsmart them both because, you know, he thought to replicate Super Sheep’s powers and abilities)
(Rayman and Sonic then bump into each other as a result)
Metal Sonic: your butts are organic tissue, time for a good flushing.
Rayman: we’ve gotta figure out a way to defeat Metal Sonic
Sonic: but there’s just one problem, we’ve already begun a descent towards our coffins
Rayman: don’t worry, Julia’s got the magical “Phantom Ruby” remember? She can conger us up a safety net and we’ll all be safe
Sonic: but still, we need to take Metal down or el-
(Metal Sonic then pounds all of our heroes so that they fall at terminal velocity)
(As our heroes are falling Julia gets the brilliant idea to use the Phantom Ruby to summon parachutes for everyone except Rayman and Super Sheep because, you know, helicopter hair=Gliding for Rayman and Super Sheep has this magical ability to, umm what’s it called? Oh yeah, fly)
(Everyone opens their parachutes and Rayman starts gliding using that helicopter hair of his and as for Super Sheep, well he can fly so yeah.)
(The camera then cuts back to Mario, Hugo and the Night Pig still fending off the Yogscast and doing a decent job at it)
Hugo: So Mario, how do you suppose we continue to fend off these guys until Super Sheep and all them get here?
Mario: hold out for as long as we can
Night Pig: cool
(Night Pig then starts throwing random objects at the Yogscast Army, including the kitchen sink)
(The Yogscast Army then start overwhelming the trio)
(This goes on until the rest of our heroes show up)
Rayman: OI!
(The Yogscast Army stop and turn towards Rayman and company)
Rayman: leave our friend alone, there is no fake Mario, I’ve been bamboozling you guys to help me fill some ridiculous agenda and-
Honeydew: so you lied to us?
Rayman: well, I…
(Honeydew then goes after Rayman)
(Rayman and Honeydew then start fighting until Rayman gets cornered)
Honeydew: looks like your demise is around the co-
(Honeydew gets knocked out by Mario)
Rayman: (in relief) thanks, I didn’t think you’d wanna he-
Mario: oh I’m not doing this to help-a you, I’m doing this so I can beat you up myself
Rayman: what?
(Mario starts advancing towards Rayman)
(Rayman then starts backing up)
Mario: if no-one I-a hired or made wanna get you via those-a wanted posters could-a stop you from getting here, well dag-a nabbit I most certainly will have to deal with-a you and-a your little accomplice myself.
(Mario then throws some punches Rayman’s way but Rayman dodges while backing up)
Rayman: but Mario, I’ve changed (dodges Mario’s kick) I don’t even wanna kill you anymore
Mario: yeah, like anyone’s-a gonna fall for that one
(Mario then uses a fire flower to turn into fire Mario)
(Mario then starts throwing fireballs from his hands)
(Rayman then dodges and starts running)
(Julia then rushes off to help Rayman)
Super Sheep: wait, come back kid, come baaaaaaaack!
(Camera then cuts back to Rayman running from Mario)
Rayman: dude, we can work this out. (Dodges a fireball) maybe we can settle this over a-a-a-a-um, a pint maybe?
Mario: no way, say your prayers “Friend”
(Mario then Punches Rayman quite a distance)
Mario: right, that’s you taken care of, where’s-
(Julia then shows up)
Mario: well speak of the devil, it’s-a you.
(Mario goes to get Julia, only to be punched by Rayman’s fist from a distance)
(Mario turns around to find Rayman getting up)
(Camera pans towards Rayman)
Rayman: leave my new friend alone
Mario: what if she’s the one that came up with this plan and you were just the accomplice this whole time
Rayman: thats just crazy dude, I came up with this whole plot, which now I have discarded
Mario: if you really have discarded your plans to destroy me, then why did you a-continue your journey to Nintendo bub?
(As Mario and Rayman are bickering, Julia tries to see if she can put a stop to it only to get ambushed by Metal Sonic, Shadow and Zavok)
(Camera cuts back to Rayman and Mario)
(Rayman notices this scene and rushes off to help)
Mario: where are you going now Ra-(sees what’s going on and joins Rayman)
Rayman: OI!
(Zavok turns around while holding Julia by the leg)
Zavok: well well well, if it isn’t the limbless freak and the porky plumber
Mario: HEY! I’M NOT A-FA-
Zavok: ah ah ah ah, let’s not get too hasty with ourselves just yet. All we want is to pat down the kid.
(Zavok then violently shakes Julia until Fluffster comes out of her pocket)
(Zavok stops shaking Julia, drops her and picks up fluffster)
Zavok: what have we here? A rabbit toy.
Julia: f-f-Fluffster.
Shadow: hand over the toy
(Zavok gives Shadow Fluffster)
(Shadow then tears Fluffster in half)
(Julia sees this and gets upset)
(Julia whips out the Phantom Ruby)
(Chaos Zero then shows up and grabs Julia, allowing Metal Sonic to steal the Phantom Ruby)
Shadow: thank you for your co-operation, now we’re going to take over the world.
(The 4 Villains then go off leaving the torn up Fluffster and our heroes behind)
(Our other heroes then show up)
Sonic: what happened here?
Rayman: the bad guys upset Julia and now they have their ticket to universal domination.
Super Sheep: so how’d they upset the kid?
Rayman: well, you see… they tore her favourite toy in half. Now if you’ll excuse me.
(Rayman then goes over to comfort Julia)
(Julia looks at Rayman with teary eyes)
(The two then hug for a bit then everything gets slightly better, but only slightly because, you know. 4 evil-doers now have the ability to change reality at their whim)
Super Sheep: yes, yes this moment is all very emotional but, umm. Look at the sky right now
(The camera cuts to the sky getting darker)
(Our heroes then run over and get a full view of the effects of the Phantom Ruby with different things running around ruining everything)
Sonic: oh. Right. So how are we going to take them out?
Rayman: well, thats going to be interesting
Julia: plan?
(Our heroes then have a think about it)
Ladybug: any Ideas?
Super Sheep: nope. (whips out like a zillion weapons) Now let’s ambush em. (he then puts these weapons down)
(Our heroes then decide to run into the fray like idiots)
(Camera cuts to our 4 villains using the Phantom Ruby’s power to continue creating a massive army, some of which consist of cameos)
Shadow: you know something guys, life’s really great when you’ve got the power to literally bend reality to your will. But we still have those morons to take care of.
Zavok: don’t fret over them, our army will take care of that for us.
(Camera then does a Phantom Ruby transition to our heroes running and fighting their way through a distorted Kyoto)
Rayman: I don’t understand, what would drive four sonic villains to destroy and rule reality?
Ladybug: but what about your friend?
(Rayman thinks about what to do with Julia)
(Rayman then snaps his fingers and gets an Idea)
Rayman: I’ve got it, JULIA!
(Julia looks over)
Rayman: how’d you like to get an accelerated course in butt kicking?
(Our heroes then prepare to fight the army created by the Phantom Ruby)
Sonic: looks like we’ll have to pound these guys into next week first
(Our Heroes then start pounding these guys into next week)
(Camera cuts to our villains)
(Shadow looks at a piece of the ground and gets an idea)
Shadow: let me try something.
(Shadow then uses the Phantom Ruby to alter Chaos and turn him into Perfect Chaos)
(Shadow then proceeds to use the Phantom Ruby to produce a tall tower)
(After this happens he looks at an old sonic poster)
Shadow: let’s see how they deal with this next attack
Sam Gordon's Media Journal 